The Tidy Room
by zendog
Summary: A dreadful accident brings despair to Camelot and to Merlin especially. Then awful visions show a kind of bitter hope and Merlin must travel alone to face the evil that is emerging. But Arthur will not be left behind. To save their friend they will risk everything.
1. Chapter 1

**The Tidy Room - Chapter 1**

 **It wasn't exactly what Merlin had planned to do when he started but looking around the room he had to admit he was surprised with the difference it had made. Everything was clean and dust free and actually in a sensible, easy to reach place. He felt sure Gaius would like it...well mainly sure...though a little niggling doubt began to creep stealthily into his brain.**

" **What if he prefers it as it was, after all these are his rooms and he's used them for many years." The small fear of having made a mistake had now moved into a complete terror that he had totally done the wrong thing. "You idiot" he thought to himself "Of course Gaius wouldn't want this, he loves his disorderly room. You need to put it all back to how it was."**

 **Merlin started to do just that, moving back a bottle of disgustingly smelly potion next to the fresh herbs he had collected earlier that day. But then another small voice in his head began to nudge him "No, leave it all, it will be okay. Gaius will love it. It will make life so much easier for him after the accident. It will mean he can begin to work again sooner. When he's better he will understand why you did it and he will appreciate it."**

 **Standing in the middle of the large room; another bottle of something unspeakably vile clasped in his hand; Merlin felt empty. The enormity of what had happened suddenly hit him. Gaius. The accident. The helplessness he had felt when he had realised that there was nothing he could do to help. Gaius was miles away at the border village. His friend was hurt and that he, Merlin, had been unable to protect him. And worst of all; the unspoken fear that Gaius was already dead.**

 **When the messenger had arrived, telling of the old physicians fall from the horse and his severe injuries, Merlin had been inconsolable. A few days before an urgent plea had come from a far flung village. They had a severe outbreak of sweating sickness and they had begged for the King to send his physician. Gaius immediately agreed to go. He had even said that he was looking forward to the fresh air and the break from routine. Merlin wanted to go with him but Gaius had refused. It had been a while since the last magical attack on the Kingdom and that made the old man nervous. Merlin was needed to protect Camelot and Arthur. After all Arthur had sent four soldiers to accompany him on the journey and to offer any help he needed whilst there. What could go wrong?**

 **Well nothing for the first three days apparently. But then Gaius had ridden out to the isolated Manor House to bring them the medicines and for some reason he had chosen to do so alone. He had left the village at dawn before the others were awake. The soldiers were not immediately worried when the physician did not join them for breakfast; he was usually up very late tending to the patients and so often slept in a little. But when it became time for the sick to receive their medicines and Gaius had still not emerged from his small hut they grew concerned and went to wake him. Only to find his room empty and his bed cold.**

 **They had set out to search for him at once but it was five long hours before one of them stumbled onto the rough pathway that eventually lead to the Manor and discovered the aged man lying on the ground. His left leg was twisted under him in a completely unnatural position but it was the gaping head wound that drew the soldiers attention. A three inch gash had split open his forehead and already a furious looking purple and black bruise had formed all around it. Blood pooled around Gaius's white hair and down his all too still face. The gentle mare that he usually rode was dead beside him; a look of pain and anguish on her face and a horribly broken foreleg as proof of her fall.**

 **The chief soldier, Lucan, had hurriedly put the unconscious man onto his horse and had ridden straight back to the village. The inhabitants did what they could. One of the women, using her knowledge of herbs and potions had managed to set his broken leg and bind the cut on his head. But Gaius had remained unconscious for two whole days. Eventually the four soldiers decided that the best thing would be to build a bier and carefully bring Gaius home to Camelot. Lucan rode out ahead of the others to inform the King of their decision and the rest had followed as soon as Gaius had been made comfortable to travel.**

 **Merlin's reaction to the messenger's news had been instant. Barely had the exhausted Lucan relayed his tidings than the manservant had run out of the Great Hall and begun to make his way down to the stables. One thought in mind; to ride to Gaius and offer what healing (magical or otherwise) he could.**

 **However, as he was saddling the horse he normally rode, he heard a voice behind him. Arthur.**

" **Merlin, I think it would be better if you stay here. I understand why you want to go, I really do but we are not sure of the path they will take on their journey home and you may miss them." Arthur moved a little closer to Merlin; almost reaching out to touch him as he spoke. "I am worried too but honestly it would be better if you stayed here and prepared for his arrival. They will only be one more day I am sure and Gaius will need you to be ready to care for him. Not lost in the forest searching for him"**

 **Merlin stopped; realisation of the truth of Arthur's words slowly permeating into his brain. Much as he desperately wanted to go and find his mentor he knew the King was right. Better to remain and to get ready.**

 **So that is what he had done. He collected herbs, made poultices, prepared bandages and read up on healing spells late into the night. But then there was nothing else to do; all was prepared. His body was exhausted but his mind would not be still. He tried to sleep but whenever he closed his eyes all he could see was Gaius; dead or dying. After an hour of lying in his bed Merlin had given up and instead had begun the clean up to beat all clean ups. He worked furiously through the night and into the next morning; not stopping. He neither ate nor drank, just worked. He did not use his magic. He needed to do all this with his own hands. It felt like the only thing he could do for the man who had taken him in and who loved him as his own.**

 **Burying himself in the task Merlin had been able to keep his fears somewhat at bay; but now the job was done and the terror struck once more. What if Gaius was dead or his injuries were too severe for Merlin to deal with? The youth knew he had some skill as a conventional healer but that his magical abilities in this area were often severely lacking. As the panic set in Merlin's mind searched unconsciously for an escape route and that was when he began to worry about the changes he had made to Gaius's work space and if they been a good idea.**

 **He looked once again at the bottle in his hand and the immaculate room around him and it all finally became too much. His knees gave way and he crumpled to the ground; only the wall behind his back keeping him upright. Clasping his legs to his chest and hugging them tightly he lowered his head and gave into the tears that had been threatening all night.**

 **XXX**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N**

 **Hi. It's been awhile since I have written for this fandom...and this is not the sequel to "The Heart Spoke of No Sin"...sorry just can't seem to re-find the drive behind it and I don't want to follow up with something I don't think is good enough.**

 **So instead there is this...a smaller. simpler story. It too has been a hard write but it's got tot he point that if I don't post it now I never will. So hope you enjoy.**

 **The Tidy Room – Chapter 2.**

 **Arthur stood quietly outside Gaius's chambers, unsure of what to do. He could hear sobbing coming from the rooms and knew it was Merlin. Part of him wanted to go in and comfort the weeping man but the other (much more reserved part of him) rebelled completely at that idea. Comforting and supporting upset people was more Gwen's area of expertise and for a moment he thought of rushing back to their rooms and getting her.**

" **Yes" he decided. "Gwen will know what to do."**

 **But just as he was turning to leave the crying stopped and he heard Merlin get up and walk over to the table and sit down. Deciding that it was probably safe now to enter Arthur pushed open the door and went in. Just as he had supposed Merlin was sitting on the rough stool at the small wooden table, his back to the door.**

" **Hello Arthur." A small voice came from the hunched figure "What do you want?"**

" **How did you know it was me?" the King asked.**

" **You are the only one who would not knock first" Merlin replied.**

" **Oh, yes. I suppose…" Arthur's voice tailed off as he realised that perhaps (even though he was King) it might have been polite or more socially acceptable if he had indeed asked permission to enter the rooms. After all, Merlin was upset and worried. But no way was Arthur going to admit it so he just left the sentence hanging in the air.**

" **So what is the answer?" Merlin's voice was again quiet and almost flat.**

" **The answer to what?" Arthur replied distractedly.**

 **Sighing Merlin turned round to face the King and repeated "What do you want?"**

 **Startled by the look of complete exhaustion on Merlin's face Arthur suddenly could not come up with an answer. On his way over to check on Merlin Arthur had decided that he would ask for a lotion or tell him about some future event that needed planning; pretty much anything really in order to avoid the real reason for the visit.**

 **As he stood there, trying desperately to remember his made up excuse, Arthur's mouth just took over and he found himself actually telling the truth.**

" **I could not sleep last night; I was worried about Gaius and I suppose about you too."**

 **As he spoke the King could not quite believe what had come out of his mouth; but it was said now and he could not take it back. At least Merlin had the grace to look stunned at such an unexpected show of Kingly emotion. After a few seconds he managed to stumble a reply.**

" **Um…Thanks Arthur. I know Gaius would be touched by your concern."**

 **What was left unspoken, but was relayed by his expression, was that he too was moved that Arthur had actually been able to state his concern. Arthur gave Merlin a slight nod of the head; both to indicate he understood Merlin's thanks but also to ensure that the manservant knew that this rare moment of emotional transparency was now over. And that it was not to be referred to again, ever, under any circumstances!**

" **Have you got everything you need?" Arthur stared at the potions and bandages on the table. "Are you ready?"**

 **Merlin's face, already white, paled a little more but then he clenched his teeth and stood up.**

" **As ready as I will ever be" he said, gesticulating around the room.**

 **That was when Arthur noticed the changes for the first time. Gone was the slightly grubby, disorganised dark room and in its place was a gleaming, well thought out healing room. The King could barely believe what he was seeing and he looked at Merlin with questions on his lips. But before he could ask what on earth had happened the young man shrugged and said**

" **I had to do something; this just seemed to happen." The youth paused and stared straight at Arthur "Do you think I did the right thing? Will Gaius be pleased or should I just put it back how it was?"**

" **Will this make it easier for you to care for Gaius and other patients whilst he cannot?" Arthur asked.**

 **Merlin thought for a second and then just nodded.**

" **Then I believe that Gaius will be very pleased with what you have done."**

 **A loud knock at the door interrupted them and Merlin yelled "Come in" before the King could do so himself – a definite breach in protocol but one Arthur was happy to let slid as a guard entered.**

" **Sire, I am to tell you that the soldiers bringing Gaius back have just entered the Court Yard and will be here in a few minutes." The guard bowed and left; the door remaining open behind him.**

 **Arthur heard Merlin's sharp intake of breath and turned to look at the young man. He was used to Merlin taking things in his stride, often full of certainty and assurance when everything was falling down around him. But this time all the King could see on his face was fear and trepidation. And Arthur knew that this was going to be one of the hardest things Merlin had ever had to face. Without thinking he moved towards him and this time did indeed put his hand on the manservants arm. After a moment he whispered quietly.**

" **Don't worry, I am sure it will all be alright."**

 **But his words proved to be hollow. For as he spoke the soldiers entered carrying a stretcher bearing the body of the old physician; his chest still and his face covered.**

 **XXX**


	3. Chapter 3

**The Tidy Room – Chapter 3**

 **For a moment neither Arthur nor Merlin moved, but just watched as the bearers placed the stretcher onto the bed. Bowing quietly three of them slipped away, grateful to be relieved of their sorrowful burden. Only one remained, head lowered, awaiting his King's questions.**

 **But there was no time for questions now as Merlin suddenly responded to the awful sight before him. Pulling back the covers, trying to force a potion down the unmoving man's mouth and finally resorting to shaking and calling his name. But to no avail; Gaius was still and cold. Merlin shook harder, the ancient physician's body was pulled from side to side as the desperate young man tried, and failed, to get a response from him.**

 **Arthur was transfixed by the awful scene being played out before him. The King was experienced in war and had seen far too many men die in front of him but this…this was unbearable. Gaius was dead. The man who had given him the only warmth and affection he had received during his childhood was gone. All that was left was an empty body; bruised and broken. Arthur was frozen; almost as still as the man for whom he grieved.**

 **It was when Merlin actually began to shout Gaius's name repeatedly that Arthur finally moved. Taking two strides forward he reached down and physically pulled him away from the body; Merlin fighting him all the time as he desperately tried to retain contact. But it was to no avail; Arthur was too strong and in the end Merlin's hands slipped and he was no longer touching the body. This was the point when Merlin broke; his face closed down and he was suddenly, horrifically silent. He stopped struggling and in a quiet, calm voice he said.**

" **It is fine Arthur, you can let me go now."**

 **And Arthur did; his hands dropping down to his sides helplessly. Merlin walked away and sat at the table, never taking his eyes off Gaius.**

 **Now it was Arthur's turn to approach the bed. He reached down and straightened the blanket covering Gaius; so very gently as if he were tucking a child in to sleep. Leaning forward he felt for a pulse but, as expected, there was none. The King then knelt beside the bed and spoke very quietly.**

" **Without you my life would have been so much harder." He paused for a moment, momentarily unable to articulate what he was feeling. "Thank you for your service, your loyalty and your love. You will be sorely missed" A small touch of Gaius's hand and then the King arose. There was nothing to be done now for the old physician except provide him with an honourable burial. But Arthur knew that there was someone in the room who did need help. Merlin.**

 **Merlin…who was still sitting at the table, silent and expressionless. But Arthur recognised the behaviour. He had seen it sometimes with his soldiers and his knights; even the most experienced ones. There came a point where they had seen too much; done too much or lost too much. For some it turned them to more mindless violence, for others to religion and for a few it made them withdraw into themselves. This was the route he could see etched onto Merlin's face and he was not going to let it happen to his friend.**

" **Merlin" he began but then faltered. He did not know what to do with the silent man before him. He did not have the words and was concerned that he would say the wrong thing and make it worse. Normally he would have Merlin by his side to give advice in such difficult situations but now it was the manservant himself who needed comfort. And Arthur was not able to give it him. But then he remembered his initial impulse from when he was standing outside the door mere minutes ago. Gwen. He would get Gwen; she would know what to say; what to do. And perhaps she would help him be able to offer what support he could.**

" **Merlin. I am going to get Gwen. She needs to know what has happened and she will want to lay Gaius out herself, I am sure of it." Arthur stopped speaking and looked at Merlin, worried that talking about preparing Gaius for burial would upset him further but it appeared as if the young man had not heard a word that was said. Sighing the King touched Merlin on the shoulder and then walked out of the door. He hated to admit it to himself but he was glad to leave; the pain and sorrow in the room had been at the point of overwhelming him. He suspected that he needed Gwen as much as Merlin did.**

 **XXX**

 **In truth Merlin had heard what Arthur was saying. Or rather a small part of him had…the part that still had some kind of connection with the rest of reality. But it was a very tiny part, because most of him was stuck in the nightmare reality of Gaius's death. And he knew it was reality, there was no denying it. The old physician was not breathing and had no pulse; it was too late. Merlin was alone with the body of the man who had taught him so much.**

" **No. No. NO." Merlin spoke the words out loud and moved forward until he was kneeling beside the patient's bed. "NO, I will not accept it. It's too much, I won't let this be true." What was the point of being the most powerful warlock in the whole of time if he kept on losing the people he loved? He had to be able to do something to reverse this. The universe could not be so cruel as to take Gaius as well as everyone else. Holding his hands over the old man's heart Merlin whispered the most powerful healing incantation he knew; his eyes glowing gold. Nothing happened. He repeated it again, louder this time; not caring if anyone heard him. Nothing. A third repetition and yet still no change in the man lying beneath his hands. Despair settled coldly around Merlin's heart; slowly choking all his hope. But he would not give up, could not give up.**

 **Reaching down inside himself, to the very depths of his magic, Merlin searched for the source of all his power. He pulled it up from the earth and time around him and focused it all into his spell. His eyes glowed resplendently as never before. Yellow fire flew from them, encompassing all the room in its light; covering Gaius's body in a mantle of golden healing. The body lifted a few inches off the bed and for a moment Merlin had cause to hope.**

 **But then all he felt was emptiness and loss. His head exploded with sharp pain and the brilliant fire from his eyes turned black and Gaius's body fell back down with a hollow thud. Merlin had to close his eyes from the pain and the crushing disappointment. The feeling of agony lasted just a brief second or two but Merlin could not open his eyes again, could not witness the truth. When it really mattered magic had not worked. Eyes still closed Merlin rested his head on Gaius's cold hands and wept.**

 **XXX**

 **It was in this position that Arthur and Gwen found him about an hour later. It had taken Arthur some time to find the Queen as she had been down in the kitchens with the Cook; discussing a possible recuperation menu for Gaius. She had had no idea that the sad convoy had arrived and when Arthur found her she had immediately begun telling him all about her plans to care for Gaius herself. But after only a few words she faltered and stopped speaking, suddenly reading the truth on the King's countenance. And together they grieved; holding onto each other tightly and intensely. For a while all others were swept from their minds as they thought of the friend they had lost but then Gwen spoke.**

" **Does Merlin know?" Her face took on a new look of worry as she asked. She knew how awful this news had been to her but could only imagine the crushing sense of loss that he would feel.**

 **Arthur nodded. "He was in the chambers when they brought the bod…when they brought Gaius home." Arthur stroked her face as he spoke. "Oh Gwen it was awful. At first he was frantic, trying to do something but then I think he realised and he just stopped. I didn't know what to do, he just seemed absent. So I came for you. Merlin needs you."**

 **Without a word Gwen turned and walked to the door. When she had lost her Father so horribly Merlin's friendship in that dark time had been her only beacon of hope. And, sadly, now was the time to repay that debt.**

 **XXX**

 **The King and Queen tried their best but Merlin would not leave the chamber where Gaius lay. Gwen spoke quiet words of comfort and gave Merlin strong all enveloping hugs that told of her sadness and empathy. But he only gave one word replies and did not hug back. Arthur tried to cajole him to leave, to go somewhere else, to rest, to eat. But Merlin just shook his head. The King even tried to order him to rest, but this only gained him a look of anger from Gwen and a wan smile from Merlin. He was not to be persuaded; he would sit watch with Gaius all night. And he would do it alone.**

 **Eventually Arthur and Gwen realised that nothing would dissuade Merlin and so they said their good nights. Gwen approached the bed one last time and kissed the old man farewell, whispering her love to him before her tears fell once more. Arthur held her as they walked out together. As he looked back at Merlin, alone on the chair, he felt such sorrow emanating from the youth that he knew he needed to do something.**

 **That was how the King of Camelot came to spend the night sitting on the floor in the dark corridor, outside the rooms of a deceased servant of the court. It went against all tradition and all propriety but he knew it was the right thing to do. As he sat there, cold and hungry, the King thought back to another wake like this. To another death; when he had knelt by the body of his Father and his friend had waited all night for him. Not for recognition nor out of a sense of duty but just stop him being alone. Arthur had never forgotten that proof of friendship from Merlin. Now he was doing the same; only hoping that Merlin would eventually gain some sense of comfort from it. As he had done, all that time ago.**

 **XXX**

 **With a loud bang Gaius's chamber door was flung open and a figure barrelled out of the room. The noise woke Arthur with a start. He jumped to his feet in one fluid motion and, ever the responsive soldier, he reached for his sword. But as he drew the figure crashed into him and the both fell to the ground. Arthur grasped hold of the struggling man, flipped them both over and pressed him down onto the stone floor.**

" **Let me go Arthur. You must let me go." A voice emerged from under Arthur's arms and at once he realised who it was.**

" **Merlin" the King shouted "What the hell is going on?"**

" **I have to go or it will be too late. Let me go." Merlin was struggling even harder now, desperation seemingly setting in. "LET ME GO."**

" **What happened?" Arthur couldn't understand what was going on. But he knew he was not going to let Merlin go until he calmed down. He grabbed hold even tighter but just then a suit of armour (one that had been standing undisturbed in the corridor for over one hundred years) tottered and fell. It landed on top of the King, not hurting him, but surprising him into letting go his hold on the squirming manservant.**

 **In an instant Merlin was on his feet and heading off at an incredible pace down the dark halls. Arthur was struggling to disentangle himself from the infuriating armour but managed one last yell towards the disappearing man.**

" **Seriously Merlin, what the bloody hell is going on?"**

 **For the briefest of moments Merlin stopped, turned round and smiled.**

" **He is alive Arthur. Gaius is alive but I need to save him. But there is dark magic; oh such dark magic." With that Merlin ran around the corner and disappeared leaving Arthur with the realisation of his worst fears. Grief had turned Merlin mad. It had to be that, for there was no way Gaius could really be alive. Was there?**

 **XXX**


	4. Chapter 4

**The Tidy Room – Chapter 4**

 **Merlin sighed deeply as the door shut behind Arthur and Gwen. The remaining guard had silently been dismissed as the King left. Merlin was finally alone and glad to be so. He knew that the couple had been trying to help and comfort him but he neither wanted nor desired either of those things. What he actually needed was to feel exactly what he was feeling. He needed the cold emptiness in his heart. It was only this that made him believe that this awful thing had actually happened.**

 **When he had arrived in Camelot all those years ago it had been Gaius who had welcomed him. He had made him feel at home and had eased his pain and fear over leaving his Mother and coming to a place where his very existance was in danger. Over the intervening years Gaius had been his sounding board, his conscience and his teacher. He had been as a Father to Merlin. Sometimes they had clashed or disagreed, but it had never lasted. The strength of their relationship could never be broken. Except, it would seem, by death.**

 **The hours passed as Merlin sat quietly beside the body. Silence sat in every corner; grief wafted through the air and settled on every surface. Merlin knew that the body needed to be prepared for burial but for a long time he could not bring himself to begin.**

 **Eventually the young warlock began to collect all the necessary tools for the job. For once he knew where everything was, all placed so logically and neatly in the newly tidy room. For a brief minute he was pleased as this meant he could get on with doing the job he dreaded. But then it hit him; he would never be able to ask Gaius where anything was ever again. Not only because Gaius was not there; but because he, Merlin, had destroyed all evidence that the old physician had ever lived in the chambers. All trace of the cluttered old rooms and typically "Gaiusy" organisation had gone. Been obliterated by Merlin. Never mind that it had been for a good reason or that Arthur had agreed it was a good idea. It now felt as if he had wiped out a massive part of Gaius's memory unthinkingly. Merlin was felled by such a feeling of ingratitude and misery that he dropped the cleaning cloths and knelt once more beside the bed.**

" **I am so sorry" he whispered "I did not understand what I was doing. It was your room and I destroyed it. Not only could I not save you but I have destroyed so much of your presence here. I am so, so sorry Gaius."**

 **And there, kneeling on the hard stone floor, Merlin's body finally gave in and he succumbed to the deep, deep tiredness of his body and mind and mercifully entered an unknowing sleep.**

 **XXX**

 **It was the faintest of sounds, a gentle murmur that barely existed and yet it half woke him. Merlin stirred, his head resting on the side of the bed, and his eyes moved sightlessly under his lids. The sigh of a word, the vestige of a name. His name; Merlin. But it was in the end too quiet, too far away and though part of him heard it the rest remained asleep.**

 **Yet this new sleep was not the same healing respite as before. No, the whisper had stirred something in the warlocks mind and he was no longer restful. He began to moan and move his head as if searching for something just out of sight. His dreams became full of noise and confusion; darkness and obscurity. And always, just beyond his grasp was a sound; a call for something…a cry for help. In his dreams Merlin fought against the gloom and the tumult; knowing that it was vital for him to hear what was being said. He pushed and battered at the door of his mind until it finally gave in and fell…leaving silence. Silence apart from one thing…the sound of the man he had lost calling his name.**

" **Merlin, help me my boy." A thin and pained voice but so, so recognisable that Merlin's eyes wept even in his sleep "Merlin, help me."**

 **With a start the warlock woke and instantly he felt it; the echo of something ancient and wicked. Unthinkingly Merlin reached out and touched Gaius's chest. The moment his hand touched the old man he was pulled away from reality; he fell once more into the trance world he had just left. Awake yet still asleep; this time Merlin could see and hear so much more. It was exhausting and terrifying. But as much as he wanted to leave, to break contact with whatever had pulled him down into this nightmare, he somehow knew that he needed to go deeper into the stygian gloom. So the warlock allowed his mind to travel further into the purgatory. It was not more than a heartbeat of time, though it felt like eternity, before he faced what waited for him. A shadow of a figure at the corner of his vision, the sound of a laugh unlike any he had heard before and the dreadful whisper of a name.**

" **Gaius. Gaius. Gaius." Time and time again, endlessly looping the laugh and the name. It felt like doom and destruction. A ghost of ancient magic, smelling of the decay and decomposition of millennia. And it was rejoicing in the awful fate of the old man.**

 **Merlin's mind could not take it, his soul needed to get free. He began to try and pull himself back up to reality and the conscious world but then he heard the first voice again.**

" **Merlin, help me, my boy. Help me. I am not fully lost. Find me before the time runs out. Find me. Back where it began."**

 **A flash of blinding light and a sense of being hurled up and out. And pain, such pain. Merlin's eyes opened to reality and agony but he pushed it aside instantly as he reached down and pulled Gaius's body up from the bed and held him to his chest. For a moment it felt as if there was a breath, a proof of life still lingering. Merlin desperately waited for another, listened for a heartbeat and finally felt for a pulse. But there was none, Gaius's body was as dead as it ever was.**

 **But he knew that there was something badly wrong; that what happened to Gaius was not an accident and now he understood. Gaius was not truly dead. Despite the physical evidence; somehow the vital part of him that gave him life was being held somewhere. And he was waiting for Merlin to come and rescue him. A shudder of fear went through the warlock as he remembered the shadow that had been lurking there in the dark emptiness of the vision. In truth Merlin was scared, there had been so much malevolence in that voice. But it did not matter. He knew Gaius's soul was still alive; but in mortal danger. No fear nor horror would stop the young man from rescuing him.**

 **Taking just a moment Merlin looked one last time at Gaius.**

" **I am coming. Please, please wait for me" he begged.**

 **With that he pushed open the door, ran out and immediately crashed into the King, who drew his sword in surprise. At once Arthur wrestled him to the ground.**

" **Let me go Arthur. You must let me go." Merlin yelled**

" **Merlin" the King shouted "What the hell is going on?"**

" **I have to go or it will be too late. Let me go." Merlin was struggling even harder now, desperation seemingly setting in. "LET ME GO."**

" **What happened?"**

 **But Merlin's sense of time running out meant no stopping and he tried to fight his way out. But that got him nowhere fast and in a desperate and frantic "who cares if he sees" moment Merlin magically bid the suit of armour on the wall to fall. Luckily Arthur was too focused on trying to stop Merlin escaping that he did not catch the flash of gold in the warlock's eyes. Nor the teetering armour as it begin its descent. But he did feel the suit hit him. As it trapped a clearly confused and now annoyed Arthur Merlin took off down the corridor faster than he had ever run before. Arthur's voice followed after him.**

" **Seriously Merlin, what the bloody hell is going on?"**

 **For the briefest of moments Merlin stopped, turned round and smiled.**

" **He is alive Arthur. Gaius is alive but I need to save him. But there is dark magic; oh such dark magic."**

 **And with that he turned and ran again towards the stables. Nothing could stop him. He had a chance to save Gaius and he promised himself as he ran that he would succeed. Even if it cost him his own life. He had offered it once before in exchange for Gaius's and he would do the same again without a moment's thought.**

 **XXX**


	5. Chapter 5

**The Tidy Room – Chapter 5**

The guards at the gate did not question Merlin as he left on horseback. They has seen the bier arriving earlier that day and knew its sad contents. So they were not at all surprised that Gaius's assistant and ward would need to escape the confines of the City and seek solace alone outside its gates. So, as he speed up to them, evidence of lately spilt tears and a sleepless night on his face, they silently opened the gates and let him through.

A decision they came to regret not ten minutes later when a visibly annoyed King castigated them loudly as they related their story. Luckily for them though Arthur was in too much of a hurry to punish them. So with a warning to toughen up their procedures Arthur too sped through the main gates of Camelot. He knew he was a better, faster rider than Merlin and also that his horse was immeasurably stronger than the one the manservant usually rode; so he had faith that he would be able to reduce the distance between them very easily. In fact Arthur thought, as he squinted off into the distance, he was sure he could actually see the dust Merlin had left in his wake. Urging his mount to ever greater speed the King headed off in the direction of the dust; secure in the knowledge that he would soon catch up.

From his hiding place about 50 yards away Merlin watched as Arthur sped off so quickly; in totally the wrong direction. Smiling a little as he got back into the saddle he acknowledged to himself his happiness that Arthur cared enough to follow him; but also his own foresight in preparing for such an eventuality. A small incantation and a wisp of air would leave a dust trail for Arthur to follow north, whilst he himself would head south. He did feel a pang of guilt and regret over fooling his friend. But Merlin knew that he was going to face extremely powerful dark magic and that he would have to use his own skills in order to combat it. And with time to save Gaius running out he also knew that he would not have the luxury of hiding who and what he was. Merlin would have to use his magic openly to fight whoever was behind this and he could not have Arthur there to witness it. So this was a battle the young warlock would have to face on his own. And, turning his horse away from the receding image of the King, Merlin headed off into the forest to do just that.

XXX

Arthur was perplexed. Although he was riding as fast as his horse could go he was not catching up with Merlin. It just wasn't right. There was no way that Merlin and his little filly could ride that fast. The King stared ahead at the far away dust he was following and as he did so it disappeared. Not as if it had gone out of view but literally vanished; all at once. Something was not right. He pulled his horse to a stop and for the first time since leaving the Citadel he looked down at the ground – there was no trail. No tracks, marks or anything else that suggested a rider had gone past there in a great hurry. It took a minute for Arthur to understand the full implications of what he was seeing. If there was no trail then that meant…that Merlin was not ahead of him and that somehow he had been tricked!

Arthur dragged his hand through his hair and for a moment he covered his eyes in confusion. He needed to stop and think about what had happened since Merlin had barrelled out of the room... after quickly shouting to George that he needed to delay Gaius's funeral until he returned Arthur had left Camelot in such a hurry that he had not given a moment's thought to what Merlin had said. He had just chased after him; but now; at the edge of the path the King paused and allowed himself to think things through. Merlin had said that Gaius was alive. Obviously a ridiculous idea. Clearly Merlin had been driven mad with grief. That was why Arthur had been so keen to catch up with him, before the manservant did something stupid. But, Arthur thought, what if Merlin had been right? The King remembered Merlin's words as he was trying to get away…something about it nearly being "too late" and also… "dark magic."

Arthur sat bolt upright in his saddle as he realised what Merlin had actually said. Dark magic. Leaving aside how the young man had discovered this for a later date; Arthur's mind ran with these words. If Merlin was right and dark magic was somehow involved with Gaius's death then it was entirely possible that the same magic was what had been leading him astray. After all, the King surmised, whoever had cast this supposed evil magic would not want him to come after them and disrupt their plan. So it was conceivable that they had set up some form of protection spell so that no-one could find them. But if that was the case where had Merlin gone? It could be that the protection spell only worked against those of noble birth or Royal blood. But even Arthur had to admit that this was probably not the case. It was more likely that for once Merlin had actually thought about what he was doing, perhaps it had been one of those "moments of wisdom" that occasionally occurred to the manservant. So what had Merlin worked out that he, the King, had not?

Suddenly Arthur smacked his hand against his head in disgust! How could he have been so slow? Just for a second he was glad that Merlin was not there to poke fun out of him for taking so long to come up with the obvious conclusion. Merlin would be heading to where Gaius's accident had happened. Surely that was where the answers would be. If there were any answers and it was not just the over-heated imagination of a young man crazed by despair. Arthur's head hurt; it was all getting so confusing. Why he was being misled, what had happened to Gaius and why…all in all the King decided that he would just do what his instincts told him to do. Ignore the deeper implications and try and save Merlin.

But that was easier said than done…

Pulling the reins hard to the left Arthur turned his horse and stared at the forest edge. He could go back the way he had come, it was by far the safest route. But it was not the quickest. And something deep inside him was telling the King that he needed to hurry. That Merlin was headed into some kind of extreme danger; and he needed to be there to help him. So, with a last roll of his eyes at the impulsivity of his servant, Arthur slapped the reins and horse and rider headed off into the foreboding woods. Towards the village where Gaius had died. And the dark magic that awaited there.

XXX


	6. Chapter 6

**The Tidy Room – Chapter 6**

 **It was nearing dusk as Merlin rode tiredly into the village. The main road, or rather the small stony path, was deserted and all the huts and barns seemed empty of life. Merlin was bemused at first. He had grown up in a village very like the one he was riding through now and at this time of night Ealdor had normally been bustling with life. People feeding the animals and bedding them down, women and children milking the family cow or goat and parents calling their young ones in for their meagre supper. But not this village; it was dead and cold. No life and no apparent community.**

 **Merlin did not understand it but then he remembered the awful time that Kanen had terrorised Ealdor. He recalled how the street was empty as night fell, the villagers too afraid of night raids and vicious beatings to venture out as the sun set. This village was giving off the same feeling; there was an all pervading sense of fear and despair in the very atmosphere and Merlin knew with certainty that he would find some answers here as to what happened to Gaius. That was if he could actually locate someone to speak to!**

 **Just then he caught some movement out of the corner of his eye and turning his horse he was in time to see the door of a nearby hut being pulled closed. He dismounted, tied the animal to the gate of a small animal pen and moved carefully towards the simple building.**

" **If they were brave enough or nosey enough to actually try to sneak a peek at me" he thought as he walked "perhaps they would be willing to talk to me."**

 **Merlin knocked on the wooden door and waited. And waited. And waited. Inside he could hear a man's voice shushing a woman's one and the gentle burbling's of a sleepy baby. He took a deep breath and knocked again. They just had to answer him. He needed to know why Gaius had gone off without the soldiers and where exactly he had headed. But again there was no reply from the huts inhabitants. Merlin tried a different tack.**

" **Please. I just want to ask a few questions." He spoke quietly and with as much kindness and gentleness in his voice as he could muster "My name is Merlin, I am…was…Gaius's apprentice. I just want to know more about how he died."**

 **Merlin strained to listen at the door and he was rewarded with the sound of soft footsteps and a quiet voice.**

" **We are sorry but we don't know anything. It is late. Please just go Sir." The woman's voice was clear but he could also feel her fear just below the surface. Something was definitely very wrong in this village and he was not going to leave without finding out what.**

" **You don't need to call me Sir, I come from a village just like this one." Merlin replied. "But then Gaius took me in and became my friend, my family, my father. Please I need to know what happened."**

" **He is dead then?" the woman asked.**

 **It took all Merlin's strength to answer her. "Yes."**

" **I am sorry about Gaius. He was a kind man." This time Merlin could hear the sympathy and regret in her voice and he pressed on.**

" **He was a very kind, caring and knowledgeable man who gave his life to help others." There was silence from beyond the door and for a moment Merlin believed the woman had retreated back into the interior of the hut. But then.**

" **Please come in."**

 **The door opened a little and the woman stood to one side, beckoning him into the gloomy yet well-tended room. As he walked in the woman continued. "I owe much to Gaius and his healing skills. I know a little about healing and I tried to do what I could for him. But even then I feared it would not be enough. I am sorry for his death. I owe him my child's life. The babe was sick, near dying. But the physician healed her. So whatever information I can give I will."**

 **With these words she bent down and picked the now unsettled child up from her crude crib and held her carefully in her arms.**

 **Merlin stood in the centre of the room. It reminded him so much of where he had grown up that for a moment he was touched by an intense feeling of homesickness. But this feeling passed as he noticed the man sitting in the darkest part of the room, glaring at him. Instantly Merlin knew that allowing him into the hut had not been his choice and that he was very resentful and nervous. Not a good combination. It would seem that the woman was the one who had had the courage and the decency to help him.**

" **I thank you for allowing me into your home" Merlin addressed her directly, trying to ignore the grunt of annoyance coming from the man glowering in the corner. "I just need to ask a few things and then I will be off."**

" **Were you truly Gaius's apprentice?" the woman asked.**

" **Yes, for many years. He was…" here Merlin's vice faltered a little as he tried to articulate exactly what Gaius meant to him. "He was family."**

" **I will do what I can." Here the mother hugged her child even closer to her chest. "I have already lost a child. I don't think I could have borne another loss."**

" **Shut yourself up woman, we can always have more. And perhaps the next would be a son, not another useless girl." The man in the shadows had chosen this point to join in the conversation and Merlin did not like his first contribution at all. "The old man did nothing spectacular in saving the girl child." As he spoke he stood up and faced Merlin. "We owe you nothing and this woman should not have let you in. Now go and be thankful that I don't throw you out."**

 **The man brought a jug up to his lips and Merlin finally realised that he was a drunk; and an ugly drunk at that. The husband took a long drink and doing so collapsed backwards onto the stool again; unable to bear his own weight. He gave a grunt, muttered a coarse oath about interfering strangers and nagging disloyal wives and promptly fell asleep. The warlock looked from the now unconscious belligerent man towards his wife. She gave a small, defeated shrug of her shoulders and pulled her child even closer.**

" **I could tell you that Arnall was a good man once before the drink took hold but it would be a lie. He has always been thus; but I had no choice. It was a match made by…" Suddenly she paused, as if afraid to continue. "Well" she finally said "You did not come all this way to hear of my sorrows. No, I can see that you have had enough of your own to contend with." She moved closer and looked into Merlin's eyes. Something she saw there brought tears to her own. "Yes, lots of sorrow, lots of loss. It is there for all to see, if only they know how to look for it."**

 **Merlin was struck by her words and could only lower his head and mutter "We all have our burdens to bear." He had been completely jolted by the fact that this woman had been able to so clearly see through the walls that he put up. But for once this did not scare him. For some reason, perhaps because of her own experiences of life and loss, he trusted her.**

 **Shaking herself the woman reached out her free hand and said "My name is Deryn and the babe is Megan. You said you were Merlin, is that right?"**

" **Yes." Merlin thought for a moment as to how he could get the subject back onto Gaius but Deryn seemed to know what he was thinking.**

" **I suppose you will be wanting to ask me your questions now, whilst that man is out for the count?"**

" **Please." Merlin continued. "I know that Gaius was here to cure the sweating sickness but do you know why he went off on his own? Why he left the guards? Or failing that do you know which way he went or where he was headed? The soldiers say that he was going to some isolated Manor house but that they found him on the road. They never checked if he got there or even where "there" actually was. Do you know? Can you point me in the right direction?"**

 **Merlin stopped as Deryn gave light laugh, probably the first she had given for a long time.**

" **My, you can talk can't you Merlin? Does it not drive your friends mad?"**

 **Merlin could not help but smile back; he had been rambling. Question after question with no opportunity for her to reply.**

" **Well, it certainly gets right on Arthur's nerves that's for sure!"**

" **Who is Arthur?" Deryn asked.**

" **My friend, my best friend." Merlin replied. Firstly because he felt it safer for all concerned not to advertise his relationship with the King but secondly because it was true.**

" **You are lucky to have a friend Merlin." She placed the baby back into her cot and moved towards the tattered wooden table and chairs. "Sit and I will answer what I can for you."**

 **As Merlin listened intently Deryn told of how the sweating sickness had arrived from nowhere. It was not the normal season for it to hit so no-one had been prepared. Many were taken ill and over half of them died.**

" **The village elders went to the Manor to seek help but were told none would be forthcoming and to seek aid from Camelot, from Gaius in particular. Why they ever thought that the Manor would help I do not know." She gave a shudder as she spoke.**

" **What Manor? Why would they not help?" Merlin questioned.**

" **It is the Manor of our Lord; he controls all the villages around here. Years ago they were kind and benevolent but then the old Lord died and his son took over." Deryn looked at Merlin and he could see the fear and revulsion in her eyes. "The son, Lord Caldwell, is an evil man. He takes tribute from each village and it is not merely produce that he takes. There are missing girls and unseemly acts. Orders that force villagers to undertake awful tasks. Once you are in his power there is no escape, you have to do what is ordered; no matter how painful and disgusting. I have done such…"**

 **Here she paused and Merlin could read unspeakable pain in her eyes. He reached out and put his hand over hers; giving her space to tell her story if she needed to. Deryn looked up and gave him a grateful smile but did not continue with the subject. Instead she stared directly into Merlin's eyes and spoke with true conviction.**

" **Merlin, I know that you are a good and loyal man. I see your soul in your eyes. I know that nothing will stop you if you believe in your cause, that though you feel fear and pain and anger you will always do what you believe to be right. No matter the cost to you. So though I know it is pointless I will still beg of you to listen to me when I say turn around, go home and mourn your loss. I ask this of you before I tell you more. Will you do this?"**

 **Merlin looked at her and gently shook his head.**

" **Tell me Deryn. I need to know."**

 **Sighing the young woman reached out and took his arm.**

" **I heard Gaius talking one night to one of the elders. The old man was telling him about how unexpected the illness was so out of season and Gaius was asking about why he felt it had come. He told Gaius of the rumours that had been passed from village to village. Rumours that the Lord himself had called down the illness. No-one knew where these rumours had started but it is said that he wanted to kill us all and reclaim our land for more expensive crops and woodland."**

 **Merlin knew with certainty what was coming next.**

" **Anyway Gaius said he would go to speak with the Lord himself and that he would not take the soldiers as that might be misunderstood as an act of aggression." Deryn spoke quietly now. "That is where he was heading Merlin, the day he was hurt. I fear that he made it there and found something out; and the Lord Caldwell arranged the accident. I swear on Megan's life; the man is the devil and it is he who killed your friend."**

 **Merlin squeezed Deryn's hand in thanks, aware of how dangerous it was for her to be sharing this information with him. By the sound of it, if this Lord Caldwell were ever to hear of her involvement it would not go well for her.**

" **Thank you." Merlin stood as he spoke and made for the door. "Just one thing, did the elder actually tell Gaius Caldwell's name or just call him the Lord of the area?"**

 **The woman thought for a moment and then shook her head "No, his name was never mentioned."**

 **Merlin nodded; so Gaius had headed off to confront a reportedly wicked man without finding out any information – that sounded more like something he himself would do rather than the old physician. Merlin put this slip down to tiredness and annoyance on Gaius's part. But he could not help wonder that if Gaius had actually heard the name of the man he was heading out to see, would it have made any difference? Merlin knew the old man's knowledge about magic, both good and bad, was phenomenal and perhaps he would have heard about the evil Lord if only he had sought more details.**

 **Merlin knew what he had to do. Armed with Deryn's information, he would head to the Manor and face this Lord. Stand against the man who had taken his guardian. And he would fight.**

XXX


	7. Chapter 7

**The Tidy Room – Chapter 7**

 **To say that he was annoyed would be an understatement. Arthur was actually cross, angry, tired, hungry and, most irritatingly of all, worried! Not for himself obviously but for his incredibly aggravating manservant. It was now well after nightfall and Arthur was lost. No, not lost; after all a King could never be lost. Rather he was "momentarily unsure as to his exact position in the forest". He had been riding across country towards where he thought Merlin was heading but somehow he had missed a path or gone wrong somewhere. Then night fell. And that meant he had had to make camp without catching up with that ridiculously impulsive Merlin.**

 **As he sat by his fire, and waited for the rabbit he had caught to cook on the spit, Arthur's mind could not get away from thoughts of Merlin. Had he reached the village? Or was he too sitting huddled around a camp fire, probably starving as the fool refused to hunt. And, even if he had got to the village before the sunset, was he safe? Had his belief in Gaius still being alive caused him to do something typically Merlin; that's to say something stupid?**

 **Arthur remembered Merlin's face when he thought he had lost his mentor and it was not something the King ever wanted to see again. But he feared that he would have little choice. In the long ride through the forest Arthur had thought more on what Merlin had said as he had run from Camelot. And the King had come to the conclusion that the distraught manservant had been wrong; especially if dark magic had been involved. There could be no way that Gaius was alive and Arthur knew that once he had found Merlin he would have to make him see the reality of the situation. And that would mean the young man would need to face his grief once more. And Arthur would have to watch the pain and anguish in his friend's face.**

 **Taking the rabbit off the spit and hungrily tearing it apart Arthur ate and as his stomach filled and his eyes grew heavy he turned to what he did best. Being practical. In the morning he would find Merlin, bring him back and let Guinevere console him. Better her than him! She would do it so naturally and after all he was already doing much more than a King would normally do for a servant. So it was settled. Drag Merlin home and deal with the realities; no emotion. But, as Arthur slowly dropped into the darkness of sleep, a part of his mind was there; still worrying and still willing to wait all night in a corridor to save his friend from being alone. That part of him cared and would not be silenced.**

 **XXX**

 **It was two hours after dawn when a begrimed and still quite irritated Arthur rode into the small village. At this time of day it was livelier than it had appeared to Merlin the evening before but even so it was still very quiet and stilted. No children playing, no people gossiping or arguing over neighbourly disputes. Just sullen, dis-spirited and unkempt villagers going about the necessary business of keeping their animals alive and their crops growing.**

 **As he rode slowly through Arthur was uneasy; there was something very "off" about this place and his concern and worry grew. If Merlin had come here then the King wanted to find him and remove him very quickly. Given Merlin's state of mind the atmosphere here would not be doing him any favours at all. Arthur looked for the largest hut, knowing that that was where the Elder of the village was likely to live; he would speak to him and find out if Merlin had arrived. But looking around all the huts seemed identical, all broken and half deserted. Even those that were clearly still inhabited. The village felt uncared for and the villagers abandoned. There was no pride here; not like the people of Ealdor. Even scared and under threat they had rallied around to fight for what was theirs. But here he knew they had already given up. Whatever was oppressing them had won.**

 **Arthur wondered if the effects of the sweating sickness had been much worse than had been reported and whether this was the cause of the malaise that seemed to infect the village. But somewhere inside himself he knew that this was not the case. Once again he thought of Merlin's warning of dark magic and this time he had to believe him. There was something very wrong going on here and he had just ridden right into the middle of it.**

 **What worried him more was had Merlin done the same?**

 **XXX**

 **Deryn watched as the knight rode slowly through the village. It was so unusual for a stranger to come that the idea of two of them within a day was almost impossible. Somehow, she thought, he must be connected with Merlin. But how? This was clearly a powerful and rich noble; with his fine horse and expensive clothes. Not the sort of person she would have expected the young man to be associated with.**

 **As she saw the rider move down the small dirt lane in the middle of the village Deryn considered her options. He could be someone who would help Merlin or someone who was out to hurt him. And although she had only met Merlin for a short period of time she had immediately felt a connection with him. She had liked and trusted him; not something that happened to her very often. Picking up her child and thanking the fates that her drunken husband was out (where, she neither knew nor cared) she made her mind up. Putting on her clean but very thin, old cloak she opened her door and stepped out of the hut. She would speak to this knight and only then would she decide what to tell him.**

 **XXX**

" **Can I help you Sir?" A clear voice rang out from behind him and Arthur turned quickly in his saddle, hand reaching instinctively for his sword. A woman carrying a very young child stood outside a hut. She looked at him with questions in her eyes and bravery in her voice. He could see at once that this was someone who had not given in totally to the apathy and fear that seemed to pervade this place. Something about her seemed to remind him of Guinevere and he instantly felt a warmth towards her.**

" **I seek someone. I am not sure if he came this way but I need to find him. He is tall, really scrawny and very clumsy." Arthur smiled to try and reassure the young woman but he could sense her distrust. Not that he blamed her really. "He was probably asking about a man named Gaius. Have you seen him?"**

 **Deryn was still not sure what to do. This man had a way of talking that just re-enforced her first impression. He was used to people listening to him and obeying him. Her natural response to people like that (or to those like her husband who thought that his fists would get him everything he wanted) was to not give them what they desired. She despised being controlled and this had got her into lots of trouble in her life. The one time she had not fought she had ended up being forced into her hated marriage. So now she tried to be true to herself as much as possible and as she looked up at the blonde, privileged man on the magnificent horse she decided not to tell him about Merlin. Let him search all he liked, she was not going to help him find the man he had just spoken so disparagingly about.**

" **No such person has come through here my Lord, I would have seen him." As she spoke she noticed something unexpected. The knights face as he heard the words. It looked…disappointed. No that was not it. She could not explain what emotion she had seen briefly cross his face before he schooled his features back into an impassive mask. But it did not matter to her as she turned and began to walk back to her home. She had kept Merlin's visit a secret and she was sure she had made the right decision.**

" **Thank you for your help." The knight's voice followed her as she walked away "Will you grant me one last thing?"**

 **His voice was different now; again she could not explain what it was. It sounded more…more…aghh, she really could not place it. It was however enough to make her stop and look back. As she saw the knights face again she knew what it was she had not been able to read before. It was there now, as clear as the dawning of this new day. It was fear and worry. Slowly she turned fully, facing him once more. And she realised that she may have been wrong in her first reading of this man. She stood waiting for him to speak again, seeking confirmation of her change of heart.**

" **Please, if you do see him" Arthur's voice was quiet and she could now sense the urgency of his desperation in his request and see the worry in his features. "Please tell him that I am looking for him and to wait for me. That it is not safe."**

" **And who shall I say the message is from?" Deryn asked, although she suddenly realised she knew the answer before he spoke.**

" **Tell him it is from Arthur."**

 **Deryn walked over to him and held onto the reins of his horse.**

" **His friend then. He spoke of you. My name is Deryn and I did see Merlin. Perhaps you will be able to help him Sir, as he is headed towards the devil himself."**

 **XXX**


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

 **As he sat quietly under the protection of the ancient oak tree Merlin once more thanked his good luck in meeting Deryn.** **Not only for the information she had given him but also for the supplies. He had known as she handed over the small dry loaf, the withered apple and the flask of ale that it would leave her short. Just by looking at the village he knew food was very hard to come by. He had tried to refuse and had handed her the bundle back but she had insisted. She had said he would offend her sense of honour if he did not accept her gift and Merlin had given in with grace. He knew that his Mother would have offered exactly the same to any traveller who had come to her door and he was not about to shame Deryn. And, to be truthful, he was extremely hungry. In his hurry to leave Camelot he had not packed any provisions and it had been many hours since he had last eaten. Not since before Gaius's body had been returned to the Citadel. Merlin knew he would need his strength to face what might come and so he had taken the food, thanked Deryn for her care and left the village just as the sun had begun to set.**

 **She had begged him to stay the night. The forest was not safe and it would be so very cold. But Merlin's instinct told him that there was no time for delay; Gaius needed him and so he rode off into the thickening gloom.**

 **But eventually he had to stop. Hs horse could not see her way forward and he was so tired and cold that remaining in the saddle was almost impossible. He needed rest. So he dismounted, fed his horse and curled up under the tree to eat and sleep.**

 **As he drifted off his thoughts turned once more to Arthur. Had the King ridden far along the false path Merlin had laid for him? The warlock smiled a little as his eyes closed; imagining Arthur's face when he eventually lost the trail. Then the smile disappeared as Merlin finally admitted to himself that, now it came to it, he really wished Arthur was there with him. He did not know what the morning would bring but he knew it would be hard. If, in the dark forbidding forest, the young man actually wished for a companion in his peril who could blame him? But it was for the best, he told himself, as he tried to get at least a little warm under his thin cloak. If Arthur was with him then he too would be at risk and that would not do. After all it was Merlin's job to keep him safe; even if it meant doing this alone. And with that thought the young warlock slipped into a much needed sleep.**

 **XXX**

" _ **Merlin. Merlin. Merlin. I am sorry my boy. Forgive me. Help me. No, don't come. Run my boy, run far away…no please, no more. No more. Merlin, it hurts. It is so dark and I am so alone. I don't know where I am."**_

 _ **All around him there was nothing but black. Deep endless black. And fear. Merlin struggled to see, to find out where the voice was coming from.**_

" _ **Gaius. I am here, I won't leave you. Where are you?" Merlin screamed against the rushing of the sudden supernatural storm that now raged in the dark. Twisting and turning, circling around again and again he was unable to locate the source of the tormented pleas. Desperation overwhelmed him as he ran first one way and then the next. Each time thinking he was heading the correct way, only then to have Gaius's cries of pain and terror appear to be emanating from the other direction.**_

 _ **A bright light cut into the stygian gloom and all of a sudden Merlin could see Gaius. His body was hovering above the ground, arms reaching out and his head moving backwards and forwards as if he were being struck. The warlock gasped aloud as he took in the sight before him. Gaius was pale; as pale as the corpse back in Camelot. But his face was not still and composed as in death. No it was distorted and convulsing. Tears and blood streamed down his cheeks. It was the perfect image of a man in torment and it drove Merlin mad. Howling in anger the warlock raised his arms as he ran towards his mentor. Words fell from his lips and power sprang from his fingers. He would free Gaius and then he would extract full vengeance on whomsoever had done this to the man he loved as family.**_

 _ **His magic sped towards Gaius with fury and determination but, just as it seemed to reach him, the old physician disappeared. The spell missed as there was nothing there for it to hit. Gaius was gone. Merlin had failed. And now he knew that Gaius would truly die. Falling to the ground the young man gave into his grief and howled in anger and despair; a scream of regret and anguish…**_

 **With a terrible suddenness Merlin returned to consciousness. He sat bolt upright, the scream still on his lips. Darkness was all around but it was the normal darkness of night in the forest. No dying Gaius. No wasted magic. No finality of death. Not yet.**

 **Merlin wiped the sweat from his forehead and leant back against the tree. It had been a nightmare that was all. Hardly surprising given the circumstances. Shakily the warlock curled back up and pulled the cloak over himself once more. He did not think that he would sleep again but his exhausted body and his drained emotions thought differently and within a few minutes his quickened breathing slowed and his trembling ceased. His magic and his mind joined together in pulling him towards restorative sleep.**

 **But it was not to be.**

 **As he fell once more into much needed rest the dark magic pulled him back. An observer would have seen at once the point at which unknowing ease became harrowing terror. The point at which the young warlock faced the image of his mentor tortured and screaming and was again unable to free him. An endless night of visions and torment; interrupted only by Merlin's cries as he failed and failed again to save Gaius.**

 **XXX**


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9**

 **Merlin's friend? As he rode through the forest Arthur's mind kept dwelling on what the woman Deryn had said. He knew he should be thinking about the situation he was riding into and the danger that his manservant was already no doubt deeply enmeshed in. But every time he tried all that came to mind was that Merlin had described him as his friend. Not his master nor his King…not even as a knight who might be following. Loath as he was to admit it Arthur was touched by this simple gesture. Although the King was older now he did not forget his youth and the so called friends who courted him for his wealth and influence. It had marked him, made him wary of accepting people at face value and had added to his sense of aloneness. And although he now had his loyal Round Table knights and the love of his Queen; occasionally he did still feel isolated. Yet hearing himself being talked about as merely a friend, a normal man, had made his heart grow a little lighter.**

 **Arthur shook his head to drag himself out of the unusually contemplative mood…now was not the time for such thoughts. And in actual fact it probably never would be; as there was no way on earth he would ever tell the irritating manservant quite how his words had affected him. No, he needed to concentrate on what awaited him at the isolated Manor. Deryn** **had told him of the Lord's cruelty and Arthur had been left in no doubt of the awful fate that had befallen the missing girls. As well as the other evil acts this Lord had committed.**

 **The King was beside himself with anger. To think that a Lord in his own Kingdom could have been treating his people so badly and he had not known. He blamed himself. So much time had been taken up protecting Camelot from Morgana and all the other magical threats that perhaps he had let care for the rest of his land fall slightly out of sight. Well, no more. Once he had got hold of Merlin he would arrest Lord Caldwell and punish him. Then forcibly remove him from his position.**

 **This new information meant that Arthur did not really believe Merlin's ideas about Dark Magic any longer. No, everything that had gone wrong in the village was due to the evil nature of its Lord. Quite how Gaius's accident fitted in Arthur was not sure. A large part of him suspected that all was not as it had seemed and that perhaps Caldwell had had something to do with it. If so then the wicked Lord's future would be even bleaker once Arthur had him captive. But surely, however malevolent the man's actions had been, they were not not Dark Magic. As to Merlin's belief in Gaius's survival; well the King once more put that down to grief.**

 **Arthur rode quickly to try and catch up with Merlin's slower mount. With the advantage of daylight and the better horse he had no doubt that he would get to the Manor house either at the same time as Merlin or at least only a short while after.**

 **The forest seemed to be clearing as he rode a little further and Arthur knew this meant that he was nearing the Manor House. The air had become colder and a chill ran down his spine but the King put it down to the freer flowing wind. However as he came to a clearing and got his first sight of the Manor and its outbuildings even he could not deny that there was a sense of malice and rancour about the place. Hatred seemed to seep from the stones and ooze from the ground.**

 **Cursing himself quietly for his unusually overactive imagination Arthur dismounted, tied his horse to the post outside the stables and slowly walked towards the main house. Nothing moved around him. He could not see anyone so he carried on walking near to the edge of outbuildings, trying to be as unobtrusive as possible. On the ride there he had decided that he would not make a direct approach to Caldwell. No, he would rather just try and find Merlin before he got into trouble; remove him quietly and then come back with more men to arrest the Lord.**

 **As he walked between the outlying buildings Arthur kept looking for his manservant. He just knew that Merlin would not think of the difficulties of what he was doing. The young man believed that Caldwell had had something to do with what happened to Gaius and Arthur knew him well enough to know that he would just barge in there and demand answers. It took a lot to rile Merlin but the King knew that threatening or harming Gaius was the quickest way to do it. He himself had been on the receiving end of Merlin's anger when he had accused Gaius of treachery. It had not been a comfortable experience. But Arthur also knew that Merlin did not have the skills or experience to enable him to fight the likes of Caldwell. He would be in serious trouble; unless Arthur could get to him first.**

 **Arthur grabbed an old cloak from his saddle bag. Deryn had lent it him, to try and disguise his knightly attire. He put it on and pulled the hood over his head, confident that he would not be distinguishable from the Lords men.**

 **Carefully the King crept towards what seemed to be the servants' entrance to the Manor. The door was ajar and he slowly pushed it open; praying that it would not creak. Obviously, despite outward appearances, someone did look after this building for the door opened silently and smoothly and Arthur slipped quietly inside. He entered a large, hot kitchen. Pots boiled on the fires, geese cooked on spits and bread dough rising on the tables. All as if in preparation for a great feast. But no cooks, no maids, no pot boys or spit turners. It was as if everyone had just disappeared in a moment of time; gone in the midst of their work. And even Arthur had to admit that it was incredibly ominous and disturbing.**

 **Making his way towards the kitchen door Arthur kept alert for sounds that could indicate where Merlin might actually be. He was sure that he would hear him, after all the young man had proved himself time and time again to be completely useless at stealth and silence. Rounding the corner of the hallway the King was once again struck by the lack of movement or servants. There was just nobody around. Making his way up towards what he assumed were the Lord's part of the Manor, Arthur was beginning to get desperate. Just where in the hell was Merlin? Surely he could not have got so far into the building without being discovered? A brief moment of doubt crept into the King's mind. Perhaps Merlin had not yet arrived here after all? Maybe Arthur had beaten him to it?**

 **But just as this idea began to take root in his thoughts Arthur caught sight of a dishevelled man entering into what he assumed was the Great Hall. Without thinking about it Arthur followed him. The man had left the door to the Hall slightly ajar and through it the King managed to see that the room seemed to be filled with a number of equally unkempt and rough looking men and women.**

 **One of them greeted the newcomer with the words "Arnall,** **you are late again. He will not be pleased." The other man just growled back an obscenity and went to stand on the other side of the room.**

 **Everyone was standing around in a circle silently watching something taking place within the middle of it. Arthur's heart sank. Though he could not see what was going on somehow he just knew who would be at the centre of such a gathering. Sighing deeply and swearing under his breath the King quietly eased open the door and slipped into the back of the Hall. After days of travelling he was dusty and bedraggled himself and did not stick out amongst the others gathered there. Not that they would have paid him much attention anyway as they only had eyes for the spectacle in front of them.**

 **Trying to be as unobtrusive as possible Arthur pushed himself into a position where he too could take a look at what seemed to have everyone else completely transfixed. And what he saw did not really come as a surprise.**

 **Merlin was lying on his back on the floor, slightly raised up on one elbow. Standing above him was a large imposing giant of a man; Lord Caldwell if Arthur was not mistaken. The Lord was holding a gleaming sword, both hands on the hilt.**

 **In that brief moment between seeing what was going to happen and being able to do something about it Arthur saw Merlin raise his other arm and point it at Caldwell. As he did so the King heard Merlin speak. But not with fear in his voice or pleading but with conviction and strength. The words he spoke were not those of a man who believed he was going to die.**

" **You will pay for what you have done to Gaius" Merlin's voice filled the silence of the chamber and his arm rose a little more "You have had your chance to put it right. So now you pay."**

" **There is nothing you can do little man; he is damned forever." Caldwell replied "You will now join him." And as he spoke he raised the sword high above his head; obviously about to bring it crashing down on Merlin's head. As he did so Merlin raised his arm higher, pointing his hand towards Caldwell.**

 **Merlin was going to die; Arthur knew that without doubt, an arm was no defence against a sword. The blade would split him in two. And in that instant he knew he could not let it happen, no matter the cost to himself. Without thinking the King violently pushed his way through the remaining men in front of him. Drawing Excalibur as he moved he yelled in anger and desperation.**

" **I command you to stop. NOW."**

 **XXX**


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10**

 **As the sun rose weakly in the morning sky Merlin gave up any pretence of trying to rest. The night had been horrific; nightmare filled and hope destroying. He unfurled his long body and tried to stretch some of the kinks and hurts from his bones. But it was pointless. He was more exhausted then ever; the dark hours having brought no respite. But with the dawn came some small measure of renewed belief…the faith that perhaps the dreams had been warnings and not the truth. Merlin had to allow himself the slim idea that he could still do something to remedy whatever it was that had happened to Gaius. Some way to bring life back to the empty body that lay silently in Camelot. Otherwise what was the point?**

 **He ate the dry, stale bread left over from last night whilst he saddled his mare. There was no camp to pack away and so within a few moments he was mounted and heading off towards the Manor House. He still had no clear idea of what curse Gaius was under but he knew that its source was Lord Caldwell; he just felt it. And nothing was going to stop him from doing whatever was necessary to bring the old physician home.**

 **XXX**

 **Now he was here at the Manor Merlin had to concede that his intent was good but his planning skills were sadly lacking. It had been grim determination and bloody mindedness that had got him thus far but now he needed to actually figure out what to do next.**

 **When he had arrived the Manor had been guarded by three men at the main door. It was but the work of a moment, a flick of a hand and they were no longer a problem. Merlin had then walked in through the main door into the entrance chamber and … well stopped. He had no clear idea as to what to do next. For a minute he just stood there until he heard a noise coming from a corridor just off the entrance and he was awoken from his stupor. Desperately glancing around he saw a large trunk by the door and he hurried towards it. Lifting the lid he could see that it was half filled with linens and wall hangings. There was just enough room for him as well so he climbed in and quickly shut the lid most of the way. Through the small crack he had left Merlin could see the legs and lower bodies of four men walking up the corridor and into a room on the left. He just made out the words "My Lord, the village…" before the door slammed. Not much but it was enough for him to work out the man he sought was in that room.**

 **He knew that time was running out; the unconscious guards were likely to be discovered very soon and then all hell would break loose. Quietly climbing out of the trunk Merlin realised that there was not time to be subtle or clever; his only option was to face the Lord and demand the truth. But he knew that this approach was full of danger.**

 **The first problem was that he did not know how strong Caldwell's magic was; but he was betting on his own being stronger. Secondly he had no idea who else was behind the shut door but that was a risk he was willing to take. Thirdly and most importantly Merlin knew that he would need to expose his magic to all and thus put his secret at risk. The only thing he could hope for as he walked towards the wooden door was that the Manor House was so far away from the Citadel that no-one there would ever find out about it. After all no-one knew who he was…well except Deryn but he was sure that she would keep his presence to herself. Her drunken husband might also have heard his name but Merlin was confident that in his addled state he would never remember it. So all in all it was worth the risk. Merlin knew deep within him that Gaius did not have much time and he needed to act now.**

 **Drawing a deep breath and making a silent plea to the old gods Merlin put his hand on the door and opened it. Pulling himself up to his full height and walking with purpose he moved into the room and shouted.**

" **Lord Caldwell; I come for Gaius. You will free him from whatever curse you have him under. Or you will pay dearly!" His voice was bold and assured; his magic bubbling so near to the surface he felt as if his whole body was glowing.**

 **As he spoke he raised his head and finally took in the room and its inhabitants. The rooms inhabitants were standing beside a table, at which sat one of the largest human beings Merlin had ever seen. He made Percival look like a young child. But it was not his size that made him stand out from the others but rather his aura. Around him was such a stench of depravity that it nearly made Merlin wretch. Everything about him spoke of dark deeds and degeneracy. And beneath that smell of corruption was the underlying reek of some of the Darkest magic Merlin had ever encountered. True the young warlock had met and fought with many who did evil with their gifts but this was something different. It wasn't just Dark magic but a twisted and debased nature he was facing. In an instant Merlin knew that this man had used his magic for his own depravity and sadistic pleasure; not for any cause (no matter how wrong sighted). He was barbarous. And he was now staring directly at Merlin; his eyes reflecting all that he was and all that he had done.**

 **It took all of Merlin's nerve not to turn and run; his concern over the fate of Gaius being the anchor to which he tied himself. Stepping forward he once again spoke aloud.**

" **I have given you a warning. There will not be another. Tell me what you have done to Gaius."**

 **A low rumbling laugh greeting this statement and Merlin felt it eat into his courage; the sound was so base and fallen. The man rose from his chair and moved towards the young warlock; who raised his arm high in defence as Lord Caldwell spoke.**

" **I will not tell you; but I will show you."**

 **Before Merlin could react a crippling pain encircled his body and the brightest of lights blinded his eyes. As he fell to the ground clutching his head the glare became dark and the room around him totally disappeared. Through the torment Merlin knew that he was back in the trance like state of his dreams last night; but this time it was different. There was no tortured Gaius crying for help. Rather there was a mirror alone in the dark and Merlin felt himself being drawn towards it.**

 **Unable to resist his mind moved him forward until he was standing in front of the ornate looking glass. And what he saw made him gasp, jolting fear from under the pain he was in. It was not his own reflection that he saw staring back at him but that of Caldwell. It was the Lord's face that appeared and his grin that greeted the confused and barely comprehending warlock. The man in the reflection smoothed down his hair, straightened his cloak and smiled. Such a smile as Merlin had never witnessed before, so evil and cold. As he smiled Merlin felt himself turn away from the mirror and saw the Great Hall before him. But not as it had been a moment ago. Instead it appeared empty of people, lit by dozens of candles and so very cold. As he took in the room Merlin suddenly understood what was happening to him. He was seeing past events through the eyes of Caldwell. The Lord had made good on his words of showing rather than telling Merlin what had happened and now Merlin realised what was to come. And he was terrified.**

 **As the past Caldwell finished his survey of the Hall he finally stopped and settled his eyes on a shadowy figure just out of the candle light. A nod of the head and the stumbling man was brought forward by a guard and Merlin's heart broke once more. For before him was a filthy and bleeding Gaius; limping towards Caldwell.**

 **And Merlin knew he would now be shown what had happened to the beloved old man.**

 **And he dreaded that knowledge.**

 **XXX**


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11**

" **Well Gaius, it is good to see you again. Time however has not been good to you. You have grown old and weak it would seem." Caldwell moved slightly closer to the physician and gestured to the guard who was holding him up to let go. The man did as he was bid and for a moment it appeared as if Gaius would fall to the ground but he managed to find the strength to stay standing. Barely.**

" **When I arrived at the Manor and was informed that it was you who was the Lord here I knew that you were the cause of all the evil and illness this village has suffered" Gaius's voice was frail but in no way weak. He was not cowed by the giant of a man who stood threateningly before him. Hurt and alone though he was Gaius had a depth of bravery and character that would not allow him to show his fear to someone he despised. For a man of peace and study he had within him the strength of one who had suffered and witnessed much.**

" **So, knowing from my servants that it was I, you still demanded to talk to me? To see if you could appeal to my better side old man? You of all people should know that I do not have one." A trace of bitterness had entered Caldwell's speech and Gaius knew that their shared history was the source of all that had happened. Caldwell obviously still blamed the physician for it; and in truth Gaius did feel some responsibility. But in the main he knew that cause of it belonged to Caldwell himself; it was his actions alone that had brought the devastation upon him and his family. But the Lord had not taken his share of the blame at the time and it would appear that the passing years had just increased his sense of grievance.**

" **It was your greed for power that brought the awful consequences to you and yours. I did what I could Caldwell." Gaius looked directly at the man in front of him. As he stared into the crazed eyes of the Lord of the Manor the old physician remembered what had happened many years ago…**

… _ **For centuries there were stories told and rumours whispered about an incredibly powerful magic amulet; one that had the potential to offer its owner eternal life and endless pleasure…any kind they desired. On its own it was the source of much dark magic but it also held the promise of more to come. It was said that the power could only come to full fruition once the finder had raised a son to adulthood and passed the amulet down to him. Together they would then be able to say the spell that would unleash the terrible energy within the magical object and after that they would not be bound by normal human restrictions. They would become untouchable. Throughout its history it had come into the possession of countless men and women who had used its inherent power. Many had followed the path of Dark Magic until their dying day. But none had been able to complete the full passing ceremony and release its full wickedness.**_

 _ **Then came the new whispers, of a giant of a man who had gained possession of the amulet and was seeking all its power for himself. He was searching far and wide to find the spell that would unleash the immortal evil. Even without this, the amulets power had already added to his own natural born wickedness. Further darkening his already corrupted soul, twisted from childhood by the evil of his ambition and nature.**_

 _ **Gaius had paid scant attention to the gossip; he was busy looking after the health of the people of Camelot and also trying to soften Uther's rage against those with magic. He was not able to do much but whenever it was possible he helped them escape or hide. It was little enough he thought but better than doing nothing.**_

 _ **One evening as he was sitting in his rooms, exhausted after a difficult case, the door to his room had burst open and standing there was the largest man he had ever seen. This gargantuan person was dressed in rich and expensive robes and covered in jewels; looking every inch the noble man. That was until Gaius looked into his face. All resemblance to a normal human being stopped there; it was a mask of pure wickedness. Evil intention was written in every pore and vicious rage bled from his eyes. Gaius rose and found himself unwittingly backing away into the corner of his room.**_

" _ **Are you the physician? The one who is skilled in healing magic?" The man's voice, though not loud, reverberated through the whole chamber. "Well, are you?" he repeated.**_

" _ **I am he, but no-one is allowed to practice magic anymore" Gaius managed to stutter "What do you want?"**_

" _ **I am the Lord Caldwell and you are to come with me."**_

 _ **A swirl of black smoke emerged from the man's hand and surrounded Gaius before he could react and all was dark and silent. But he could still feel; a rushing, the wind and a sense of fast movement. Then sudden stillness and a blinding light.**_

 _ **Once he could see again Gaius was shocked to find that he was no longer in his own rooms but a small cottage in the lower town. And in front of him were three beds, each filled with a shivering, whimpering figure. One woman and two youths. Just by looking at them Gaius could see that they were gravely ill and all barely hanging onto life. He made an involuntary movement towards their beds, going to their aid when he was stopped by a voice.**_

" _ **I managed to do what no-one else had ever been able to do. I found the Dark Amulet and the truth behind its reputation. I discovered that to use the Amulet at its full power you need to give death to the old religion. The spell on it had always taken the one who has found it. I realised that the curse meant that I would die if I used it; but I was clever. I had done my research and finally after years of searching I had found out how to break the curse. I diverted its power elsewhere; told it to take the lives of others instead. I cared not who would die in my place. I would immediately gain much power and with two sons near to coming of age I knew it would not be long before I would get eternal life and immense power."**_

 _ **Gaius looked over his shoulder at the man who had brought them both here by magic. He was staring at the dying people in the beds, his expression hard and impossible to read, as he continued to speak.**_

" _ **But I made a mistake, I did not take into account the nature of the old religion. The way it twists and cheats those who beat it. Its very nature is to increase the price one has to pay if one wins a victory. And so it is my wife and sons who have been hit by the curse and I am unable to activate the full power of the amulet. They are dying and I will not let it happen. What is the point of some power if I cannot win it all? I need them to live. I need my at least one of my sons to live so that we can speak the incantation and awaken the full power of the amulet. You need to use your skills and make them live."**_

" _ **I do not know how" Gaius replied "I do not know the details of the curse that afflicts them."**_

" _ **I still have the ancient book that I found that contains the spell I used to break the curse. It is written in some archaic language and I cannot understand it. I had found someone who could translate it but he has since…had an accident and died"**_

 _ **Gaius knew at once that the translator's death had not been accidental, rather that Caldwell had killed him once he thought he no longer needed him. Only to discover that he actually still did.**_

" _ **I will look at the book but I cannot guarantee anything" Gaius knew that his only chance of surviving this encounter was by playing along until he thought of something. So he took the book from Caldwell and started to read.**_

 _ **Within minutes Gaius had found a way to cure the dying patients in front of him and his hope was that if he did that, then perhaps Caldwell would be grateful and let him go. But he doubted it; as the news he had was not going to be to the Lord's liking.**_

" _ **Lord Caldwell, there is a way to ensure they live." Gaius stood and walked over to the beds. "It is actually relatively easy."**_

" _ **Well, do it you old fool. Concentrate on the boys, my heirs are more important than the woman. I can always find a new one of her but grown sons are vital to my plans." Caldwell stepped forward and stared at Gaius "Get on with it."**_

" _ **It is not anything I can do my Lord" Gaius replied "It is for you to do."**_

" _ **Tell me the spell and I will recite it."**_

" _ **It is not a spell my Lord" Gaius was nervous about revealing the cure "It is written that you can only save them if you give up the amulet and its power. Only then will the ones you have passed the curse onto survive. You yourself have the only way to save your wife and sons."**_

 _ **Caldwell gave a great roar and pushed Gaius to the floor, winding the physician badly. In his rage he threw over the meagre furniture in the cottage and broke everything he could find.**_

" _ **So to save them I have to give it all up? The possibility of life everlasting and power beyond all comprehension? And what do I get in exchange? A nagging wife who I am quite happy to lose and the two useless boys."**_

 _ **Caldwell stopped and knelt down next to Gaius.**_

" _ **If they die do I hold onto the dark magic that I have already gained from the amulet?"**_

" _ **You will my Lord" Gaius replied "But your family will die."**_

" _ **I will not give it up. I do not believe that this is the only way. You will save them physician or you will die."**_

 _ **Gaius stared at Caldwell and knew by the look on his face that he had reached a decision; and that it had not been a hard one to make. There was no way that he would give it up the dark magic to save his family; but Gaius had to try one last time.**_

" _ **Lord, think again. This is your wife and these are your sons. Surely they deserve your love and your sacrifice. Power is nothing without those who you love."**_

" _ **I will not relinquish my hold on the Amulet and you will save them. If you do not then you too will die." Caldwell suddenly stopped speaking "However if they die I will raise more sons; my rise to power may take longer than I planned but it will happen."**_

 _ **Giving up any hope of convincing Caldwell Gaius did what he could for the piteous woman and two young men but he knew it was not enough. They would die and he would swiftly follow them to his death.**_

 _ **The woman was the first to go; followed within five minutes by the younger of the two youths. Gaius sat beside the bed of the last tortured boy; waiting for his end.**_

 _ **But as the youth took his final faltering breath there was a loud noise and the door to the cottage burst open. Someone had reported the sight of the great black cloud that had brought Caldwell and Gaius there and Uther had sent a patrol to seek out this undoubted use of magic. Just in time to save Gaius's life three knights rushed into the room, swords out, ready to fight.**_

 _ **Caldwell tried to use his emergent dark power to destroy them; but, new to magic, he had yet to master any spell other than the translocating one. He failed to hurt or disarm the knights and they were approaching him with determination in their eyes. They wanted nothing more than to kill the sorcerer. With a yell of anger Caldwell raised his hand and conjured forth the black fog, swirling and twisting around him. Just before he disappeared his son gave one last deep breath and passed into the next world and Caldwell glared at Gaius, unreserved hatred in his eyes.**_

" _ **You will pay for this Gaius. Failing to save them has only delayed me. I will have many more sons who will grow to manhood. With the passing of time I will find my way to all that is promised. And I will find you again."**_

 _ **And with that Caldwell vanished…**_

 **XXX**

" **I told you that time would enable me to get my revenge. And so it has Gaius; your soul and your life are all mine. I have other sons. There is one, a worthless fool, but he is to come of age very soon. I wanted you to witness my rise to glory, you that had delayed it so long. So I set the sickness loose onto the village and I told the snivelling idiots to plead for your help. I have been watching you all these years and knew that your "do good" attitude would ensure you came to help. And so you did. I want you here to watch and to suffer. Oh, I have such plans for you my old friend"**

 **Caldwell's words brought Gaius's mind back to the present and the sickening realisation that this time there would be no guards or knights rushing to the rescue. He was alone and in deep, deep trouble.**

" **It is not too late Lord Caldwell. You can come back from the edge of the evil you are planning." Gaius tried one last time to reach the man within the monster but it was to no avail.**

 **Lord Caldwell closed his eyes and grabbed Gaius by both his shoulders. The viscous noble then lent forward and whispered into the old man's ear.**

" **Efferant universa de universo vase eram concludens in carcerem et animae"**

 **At once a look of intense pain and horror crossed Gaius's face, his eyes glazed over completely white and he crumpled silently to the ground.**

 **Caldwell gave a small laugh and called forward the guard.**

" **Take this useless fool to the edge of the path, hurt him and make it look like an accident. Those that find him will think him dead; not lost. I delight in the knowledge that he will see and feel all that goes on around him but will not be able to let anyone know. They do still burn bodies in Camelot do they not?**

" **Yes, my Lord" answered the guard as he began to carelessly drag Gaius away.**

" **Good. How amusing it will be to know that he will feel it all as the flames lick his body and consume his flesh. Such agony." Caldwell turned away, dismissing the guard. "And to know that once his mortal remains are gone then his soul will remain my property for ever."**

 **XXX**

 **With a nauseating flood of light, noise and movement Merlin found himself dragged out of the awful visions of the past. He found himself on the floor of the hall, surrounded by Caldwell's men and the Lord himself towering over him, holding a sword in his hands.**

 **Merlin struggled to stand, but the pain and the horror of the past few minutes had taken too much out of him and he was unable to get to his feet. The young man still did not really understand exactly what had happened to Gaius but he knew enough. Caldwell had condemned a person he cared deeply about to unbearable mortal anguish and eternal damnation. Despite his physical weakness Merlin's magic was rebelling against the darkness it had witnessed and was burning to take revenge. Hatred descended upon the normally forgiving warlock and he knew that nothing would stop him from making Caldwell pay.**

 **Merlin leant on one arm and slowly raised his other until it was pointed directly at the Lord.**

" **You will pay for what you have done to Gaius" Merlin's voice filled the silence of the chamber and his arm rose a little more "You have had your chance to put it right. So now you pay."**

" **There is nothing you can do little man; he is damned forever." Caldwell replied "You will now join him." And as he spoke he raised the sword high above his head; obviously about to bring it crashing down on Merlin's head.**

 **Merlin opened his mouth to utter the words of a dreadful spell when there was suddenly a massive roar and violent movement from the watching crowd. Both he and Caldwell were distracted and turned to look. And the sight he saw made Merlin freeze, the spell unspoken on his lips. For there was Arthur, Excalibur raised high, forcing his way into the middle of the circle. Into danger. And as he did so the warlock heard him yell.**

" **I command you to stop. NOW."**

 **XXXX**

 **A/N**

" **Efferant universa de universo vase eram concludens in carcerem et animae"**

 **Latin - Translates as "Empty the vessel and imprison the soul."…I hope! It has been many years since I sat my Latin "O" Level.**


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12**

 **It was only as he stood there, suddenly very much the centre of attention, that Arthur actually thought that this was probably not the wisest thing he had ever done. As usual, he realised, he had acted on impulse. The warrior in him coming to the fore rather than the strategist. But he told himself there had been no other option; after all he had had to act quickly. He could not let Merlin be killed…honestly the things he did for his manservant were way and above…**

 **A yell brought Arthur's attention back to the current situation as three of the men in the room made a rush for him. There was a flurry of activity as swords clashed and blows were given and received. The King managed to kill one man and seriously injure another and was now engaged in a vicious battle with the remaining attacker. But Arthur was so caught up in fighting that he had lost sight of Merlin and Caldwell, and was not aware of what was going on between them. This was a mistake as he suddenly heard a voice ring out above the noise of the fight.**

" **I would imagine, given your attempt at rescue,that you would not like any harm to come to this young man?" Caldwell's vice was cold and calm "So given that, perhaps you had best desist from fighting. Or I will have to do something that I am sure you, at least, will regret."**

 **Arthur froze in mid sword swing; turned his head and saw Merlin kneeling beside Caldwell. The Lord had one hand on the young man's head; Merlin's eyes were closed and he was very, very pale.**

 **Looking up at Caldwell Arthur tried to decide if he would be able to get to him before any of the other men in the room could stop him or before the Lord could harm Merlin. But even as the thought crossed his mind Merlin gave a dreadful scream and his face contorted in pain.**

" **I did tell you that I would have to do something to him, didn't I?" Caldwell continued. "Now, if you do not put down your sword the next spell I cast will cause him more than just pain; it will kill him. So what is your decision?"**

 **So it was magic. Damn. Arthur threw down his sword and allowed the remaining unharmed men to grab hold of his arms. Frustration overwhelmed him and he gave a roar of anger. This seemed to bring Merlin back as his eyes opened and he looked up to see his King captured.**

" **Arthur" he whispered. "You were not supposed to come here."**

" **As if I would let you go off on your own you idiot." Arthur replied, still worried by Merlin's paleness but as always keeping up appearances of not really caring. "I mean look at the mess you get yourself into without me!"**

 **The forced levity worked a little as a small smile crossed Merlin's tense features but it did not last very long. Caldwell's hand once more touched the warlocks head and he cried out again in pain.**

" **Leave him alone" Arthur yelled, unable to contain his anger.**

 **Caldwell stared at the King for a few seconds and then lifted his hand once more. Merlin sagged but did not fall to the ground, rather he breathed deeply and tried to get to his feet. Unsuccessfully. But he did manage to find his voice.**

" **I will make you pay for Gaius, I promise you that."**

 **Even in their current situation Arthur was suddenly struck by the tone of Merlin's words. Never had he heard his manservant speak so calmly and with such conviction. But the King also realised that he had never heard Merlin sound so determined, almost cruel. For a moment he could see another side to the** **perennially cheerful young man he thought he knew so well. One that made him consider whether he had misjudged Merlin all these years and that he was actually not a man he would like to cross.**

 **But again Arthur's thought process was interrupted by Caldwell as the Lord laughed loudly and dragged Merlin upright by his hair.**

" **You, little man, can do nothing. Gaius is lost forever. His soul has been swallowed up and his mortal body is even now rotting away somewhere in Camelot. And I am but a day away from gaining all that has been denied me these past long years. Tomorrow my son will come of age and he and I will incant the spell and I will be all that I am supposed to be."**

 **Gesturing to one of the men to take the nearly unconscious Merlin from him Caldwell continued.**

" **It is indeed fortuitous that you have arrived today as I will need blood for the ceremony tomorrow. Now I do not have to waste any of my pitiful peasants, after all I need them to work the land. And I know who you are Arthur Pendragon." This he addressed to Arthur. "A King's blood will add a certain quality to the sacrifice; a grandeur that the scum who live here do not possess." He nodded to the men who held them. "Take them both to the cells and leave them there until tomorrow."**

 **But as they were being lead out Caldwell called for the men to stop and he approached Arthur and Merlin; a very worrying smile on his face.**

" **It would be remiss of me, as your host to leave you without entertainment during your short stay with me. Please, consider this a gift to make the night pass a little more interestingly."**

 **As he said these words he reached out a hand and lightly touched them both on their heads. For a moment Arthur only felt a coldness and a distancing but then there was shattering light and intense pain. Arthur felt himself scream out and begin to collapse. However before he closed his eyes he caught sight of Merlin's face and he somehow knew that whatever agony he was feeling, his friend was feeling more.**

 **XXX**

 **Merlin stopped. The spell that was about to leave his lips remained unspoken. Arthur. Arthur was here. Arthur was here and he was about to do magic in front of him. He faltered. He froze. He could not complete the spell. Despite his intense hatred of what Caldwell had done, Merlin could not bring himself to do magic so blatantly in front of his King. In that moment of hesitation Caldwell acted. The Lord pulled Merlin to him and forced him back up to his knees. Then once more he laid his hand upon Merlin's head and forced the young man to enter the nightmare world of pain and visions.**

 **In his confusion and fear of being discovered Merlin did not react to save himself and was consequently lost in the misery of hallucinations. He could not see or feel what was going on around him, was not aware of the desperate fight that Arthur was engaging in. All that he saw or felt was torment and despair.**

 **Then a brief moment of clarity when Merlin could see Arthur standing before him, sword raised in attack mode, but strangely standing very still. However before Merlin could take in any more he felt a hand on his head and the torture took over his mind once again.**

 **Merlin did not know how long he had been unaware of his surroundings, being in the nightmare world time lost all meaning, but suddenly he felt himself dragged out of it. Only something powerfully meaningful to the warlock could have brought him back; and it was. Arthur roaring in anger and emotion. Arthur was in trouble and Merlin needed to get to him.**

 **The young warlock forced his eyes open. He saw Arthur being held, unarmed and vulnerable.**

" **Arthur" he whispered. "You were not supposed to come here."**

" **As if I would let you go off on your own you idiot." Arthur replied "I mean look at the mess you get yourself into without me!"**

 **That brief moment of familiarity and recognisable conversation made Merlin briefly smile, but it was short lived as again the pain and nightmares descended.**

 **He thought he heard Arthur's voice somewhere in the darkness and then he was released once more. He felt his body give way and he almost fell. But he was not going to let Caldwell see him defeated and he tried to stand. But it was too much for him and he had to settle for raising his voice, showing his defiance and serving his warning.**

" **I will make you pay for Gaius, I promise you that."**

 **Merlin saw a look of confusion cross Arthur's face but did not have time to think about it as he was pulled cruelly to his feet by Caldwell. Other men grabbed hold of him and he felt himself being dragged away. He was aware of Caldwell talking but could not find the strength to listen to what he was saying. It was taking all his resolve just to remain conscious.**

 **Then he felt the hand on his head and just before he fell into the void he heard Arthur scream. And Merlin knew that Caldwell had dragged his friend down into the darkness and the agony as well. This knowledge doubled his pain and remorse. Arthur would suffer and it was his, Merlin's, fault. Then he could think no more as the nightmares and the wraiths ate away at him and bled his magic.**

 **XXX**

We have reached the half way point in this story and I would like to say thank you to everyone who is reading, following and reviewing. I have also realised I have not made the usual disclaimer - I do not own Merlin as it belongs to the BBC. This is merely a story with no financial or commercial gain.

Thanks for reading so far. Take care. Zendog


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter 13**

Arthur did not understand what was happening to him. He was in a dark empty space but he knew it was not really real. He could not feel the ground beneath his feet and all he could hear was the eerie echoing of ancient screams. This was beyond anything he had ever experienced and, to put it mildly, he was very disturbed by it. Arthur was a man who liked things concrete, fixed, normal. And this was anything but. Add to it the powerful headache that pounded behind his eyes and he was not at all happy.

All he remembered was being dragged away by Caldwell's men and something about "being entertained". After that there was pain. Gods, yes he remembered the pain and there was also…Merlin. Even with the situation he was in Arthur was immediately more worried about his manservant than himself. He recalled the look on the young man's face as he too was touched by Caldwell and it had not been good. Not good at all. Desperately looking around him in the darkness Arthur searched for Merlin. He must be here, the King thought. He had been enchanted at the same time so he MUST have come to the same place.

Arthur tried to move, to walk, but all that he could manage was to sort of glide through the space around him. It was completely disorientating and for a moment he felt sick But then he saw something that took his mind off his own suffering.

A hundred yards away he could see Merlin – suspended, as he was, in the dark. But the young man seemed to be much more lost and out of control than Arthur was. He was on his knees and was holding his head very tightly, rocking backwards in the void; moaning. He kept crying out "Gaius" in a voice so filled with regret and anguish that Arthur thought the young man's heart was breaking.

The King frantically tried to move closer but it seemed to take an age until he was close enough to reach out and grab him. He tried to put his arms around his shoulders and to get him to let go of his head and talk to him. But he could not. Merlin just floated out of reach. So he called the young man's name. Merlin did not respond, he just seemed to curl himself into a smaller space and hold on tighter. Arthur yelled even more loudly and for a moment Merlin seemed to register his existence. He dropped his arms from his face and looked directly at his King – eyes meeting eyes.

The King cried out in shock and dismay. Merlin's eyes were completely black. A deep chasm of emptiness that seemed to drag the King down into them. Pulling him into the bottomless terror that they seemed to hold. Arthur could not look away; he felt that he was falling down into the darkness of Merlin's sightless eyes…descending into Merlin's own nightmare. As he fell Arthur knew he was now seeing what his friend had been enduring; and it terrified him more than anything he had ever witnessed.

XXX

Merlin covered his face. If he could not see or hear what was all around him perhaps he would not feel the torment and the fire. The young warlock pressed his arms around his head, frantically trying to cut out any sight or sound. But it was pointless. The terror was seeping in at the edges of his vision and a cacophony of howling was pummelling his ears. He knew there was no escape; he would have to surrender to the call of the darkness.

For a brief moment he felt someone close to him. Calling his name, trying to get him back from the precipice but it was too late. He felt his arms leave his face and he was finally opened to purgatory. This place was deeper and darker than his previous visions; it reeked of an eternity of pain. Somehow the warlock knew that he had been dragged into an abyss of lost and demented souls.

Fiery shades rushed around him, heat radiating off their cursed incorporeal forms as they shrieked and rent their own shadows. Their inhuman glow breaking apart the deepest darkness he had ever known. As each soul passed him by they cried of their failures, their losses and their mistakes. They begged for release and gave hopeless promises of being better; of not falling into the wickedness again. Merlin somehow knew who they were - those who had lost themselves to the Dark Amulet; those who down the centuries had tried and failed to harness its power. And those who had followed their masters and mistresses into the darkness willingly. To fail alongside them.

The amulet did not take such failures lightly; it extracted a heavy price. Tortured souls forever bewailing their self-inflicted hell. Merlin knew the evil they had committed and yet he felt nothing but pity and sorrow for these tormented creatures. No matter what they had done, he thought, they deserved peace at the end. But there was nothing he could do for them and as their screams reverberated around him Merlin felt himself being dragged down into their bitterness and despair.

"My boy. My boy."

A voice he knew. Coming from somewhere beyond the swirling masses of poisoned shadows. Gaius. Merlin raised himself up and began to search the darkness around him. Gaius was there and had called to him. Merlin desperately twisted his body around, looking for the source of the cry.

And then a path cleared and the warlock could see his mentor. Gaius was floating in the blackness about twenty yards away. He looked as he had done in Merlin's previous visions. Injured, hurt and so sad. The young man made towards him, willing his form to move through the air until they were but feet apart. Merlin made to reach out to embrace the old physician but stopped when Gaius whispered.

"No my lad, that is far enough. It is not safe for you to touch me."

"I don't care Gaius, please I need to help you." Merlin cried in reply.

"There is nothing to be done my boy. My soul is here and my body is nearly beyond reclaiming." Gaius's voice was quiet and defeated. "If you come closer or touch anyone of us here then you will forever remain trapped with us. We are the cursed and the damned and to connect with us is to stay with us in this place."

Merlin's hand still reached out but as it got closer Gaius merely slide further away. The old man had no intention of letting his boy get caught. Looking at Gaius's face Merlin could read this truth in his features and dropped his outreached hand; a cry of frustration and hurt escaping his lips.

"I saw what he did to you Gaius. Is there no hope? There must be a way to save you." Merlin's mind raced, trying to concentrate in this dark nightmarish place was so hard. "Perhaps if I offered myself to him instead; he might let you go."

Despite everything Gaius gave a small smile at this. Merlin was incapable of allowing others to suffer if he could help it, but this time there was nothing that the old man knew that could aid him. Not that he would have allowed the boy to sacrifice himself; even if there had been some way.

"Thank you Merlin but no. I called to you in my weakness but you should not have come. You must leave me."

Gaius body suddenly contorted as if in incredible pain and his image seemed to shimmer and fade at the edges. Merlin tried to move closer again but found himself held in place by some power that he could not fight. His magic tried to find a way to free him but the combined sorrow and despair of all those fallen souls seemed to overwhelm it. Merlin felt as if it was being dragged down and beaten and he could not get access to it. Then he too felt an immense agony and he curled into himself, clutching his stomach and trying to press the pain away. Both he and Gaius were reeling from the misery, both crying out with the unbearable torment. Then they heard it; Caldwell's voice.

"Enough now I think young man."

And there in front of them stood the giant himself. Surrounded by a haze of light, almost incorporeal, but there nevertheless. Merlin cursed the man and his evil. Caldwell merely smiled and glided a few feet closer.

"I am pleased that you were able to witness his suffering boy and that he has had a chance to show you quite how painful and everlasting his torment will be." Caldwell glanced dismissively towards Gaius. "My pleasure is not only for the pain it will cause you; but for the exquisitely horrendous memories it will leave for Gaius. It was good fortune that brought you to my door. For some reason he cares for you greatly and for him to know that you are suffering over his loss will just add to his punishment."

"Take me instead Caldwell." Merlin cried out. "Let Gaius go."

"Oh, but it is too late for such noble gestures. It is my power and my will. Besides I crave his eternal torment, he is the one who thwarted me. You are nothing to me, merely another toy to play with. Whereas his soul is lost here forever and there is nothing anyone can do about it; least of all a scrawny scrap of humanity such as you." Merlin winced with pain and distress. The pressure bearing down on him was immense but he had to keep on trying.

"Let him go. Or I will…"

"You will what? You are but a little mortal, a nothing in this world and even less in the next. My power is nearly at its peak and once my son has spoken the spell with me there will be no-one who can best me. Instead of being a mere illusionary presence in this purgatory I will be able to fully enter this deeper veil, access the true darkness and take my power." All at once Caldwell looked as if he was briefly in pain and began to fade. He now spoke quickly. "Say your goodbyes. And be thankful to my bountiful good nature that I allowed you this farewell."

Merlin looked despairingly at Gaius "I will come back, I will save you."

"Oh, my boy" Gaius's face was filled with sorrow and loss "Just remember that I…"

Without warning Merlin felt a searing pain shoot throughout his whole body and he was brutally pulled away from the old man. Beneath the agony Merlin could feel the nightmare diminish and reality return. But it was too much and as light began to bleed into the corner of his eyes his body gave in and the darkness of unconsciousness took him.

XXX

With a horrified gasp Arthur also returned to the real world. The terror of what he had witnessed of Merlin's nightmare left him breathless. Oh gods, Gaius. Trying to clasp on to the certainty of the space around him Arthur opened his eyes. For a moment he did not understand where he was but then he realised he was in a small cell, lying on the floor. Time must have passed whilst he had been in the vision world and the guards must have deposited him into the jail. Him and…Merlin.

In a panic Arthur got to his knees and looked around the cell for his manservant. There in the other corner of the room he could just make out a small huddled figure, silent and still. Arthur moved as quickly as his aching head would allow, nausea threatening to make him violently ill. Reaching out he turned the body over. It was Merlin. He was pale and shivering but Arthur realised thankfully that he was still breathing. The King allowed himself a moment of relief at this knowledge and then he pulled Merlin closer. The young man was freezing to the touch and his shaking was now very pronounced. Arthur could feel the tremors pass through Merlin's body and into his own.

Arthur called Merlin's name but there was no response. Given how awful he was feeling the King had no doubt that Merlin (who had been trapped so much deeper in the vision) must have been very badly affected. Merlin was unconscious, seemingly deeply so.

Gently at first but then increasingly harder Arthur began to slap Merlin's face. Something inside him told him that he needed to waken the young man and soon. The servant had been in Caldwell's power for too long and Arthur was worried that if he did not return to awareness soon he might never do so.

Arthur carried on trying to rouse Merlin for what seemed like hours but he got no response. After what felt like about the hundredth slap the King stopped; it was not working. Instead he pulled him closer still and whispered in his ear.

"Merlin. You made Gaius a promise. How can we help him if you do not come back?"

At first there was no response but just as Arthur was trying to think of what else he could possible do he saw Merlin's eyelids flutter and a moment later they opened. His eyes were unfocused and full of confusion but then they settled on Arthur's face and the King could see them change. A look of bewilderment was replaced by one of trust and the young man struggled to speak.

"I will keep my promise" His voice was low and harsh. "Will you help me?"

Arthur looked at the weak and fever wracked man in his arms and saw the determination and the hope. Despite appearances to the contrary the King actually believed him. Arthur finally believed in what Merlin had been saying all along. Dark magic and evil had taken Gaius but he was still alive in some way. Merlin had had faith and now he needed to have some too. The visions he had experienced and the images he had seen of Merlin's fall into some hellish purgatory would remain with him forever. But he would not allow Gaius to suffer any longer. Somehow they would find a way to escape, restore Gaius and bring Caldwell to account.

He reached across the trembling man and clasped his hand. And nodded.

"We will do it together Merlin. I promise."

XXX


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter 14**

 **Trapped in the cell it was impossible for Arthur to tell when morning finally arrived. He had spent the remaining hours of what he assumed was night time frantically trying to come up with a plan of escape. But he had failed. The door was solid, he could hear the guards outside and most difficult of all was the fact that Merlin was asleep again…or unconscious. Arthur did not like to contemplate that reality.**

 **As he heard the steps of the men approaching the door Arthur knew that his time had run out. They were coming to get him and Merlin and he still had no plan. Frustration finally overcame him and in his anger he kicked the door really hard and yelled.**

" **There's no way even you can kick that thing down Arthur, even with your extra "muscles." " A voice came from the floor of the room.**

" **Are you still calling me fat Merlin? Because I will have you know that…" Arthur paused mid rant. Merlin! Merlin had spoken; which meant he was awake. Realisation of this fact hit Arthur at last. He turned round and quickly knelt beside the young man.**

 **Despite being asleep for much of the night Merlin still looked like he had not slept or eaten for a month. Dark circles were etched into the sunken spaces under his eyes and his skin was almost bleached of all colour. But he was trying to sit up and even had a small grin on his face. The smile did not reach his eyes but Arthur was grateful for any sign of life that he could get. The King held out his hand and helped Merlin get to his feet. The warlock wobbled and seemed to find it difficult to remain upright but Arthur put his hand on his shoulder and this seemed to give the young man the extra strength he need. Merlin stood up straight, ran his fingers through his dark hair and breathed once; deeply. As if preparing himself for a difficult task.**

 **They both turned and faced the door as it opened, determined not to show weakness to the ruffians who had been sent to get them. Six men entered and two grabbed hold of Merlin and the other four surrounded Arthur. It was obvious who they felt was the dangerous one and, despite the circumstances, Merlin could not help but have a little inward smile. This proved beyond doubt that Caldwell still had not realised that Merlin had magic.**

 **Merlin could feel his power deep inside him, still depleted from the blackness of the nightmare world but slowly growing stronger. He could feel it trying to heal him and he tried to divert it away from that task. To get it to concentrate on preserving its own energy; not replenishing his. He needed to know he could call on it to stop what was going to happen and to help free Gaius. Merlin knew it was a long shot and that it might mean betraying his secret to Arthur but he was past the point of caring. It would be worth it if he could get them out of this situation. His magic was their last chance and as he felt it revive a small fluttering of hope was born in his chest. As they were marched out of the cell Merlin held onto this knowledge, a small spark of light in the bleak world.**

 **XXX**

 **Ten minutes later that tiny, fleeting sense of hope was struggling to survive. They were back in the Great Hall. Caldwell and six of his men were standing in front of them, smiling and jeering. Both Merlin and Arthur were now tied into wooden chairs, their arms chained to the arms of the crude furniture; clothing pulled up so that their wrists and forearms were exposed. It did not look promising. But Merlin knew he needed to wait; if he used magic now then all would be revealed and it was too soon. He needed to be beside Gaius, had to see him on order to save him. So he waited. The only bright side to this was that it did give his magic a little more time to recover.**

 **But the downsides were many. Arthur had resisted being tied to the chair and now had a cut and bruised face from the punches to the head he had received from his guards. One had even hit Arthur on the head with a wooden stick. Merlin had seen which guard was; Arnell** **the drunken brutish husband of Deryn. Another reason to dislike him intensely. The blows had knocked the King out so in the end he had been easy to bind to the chair. Merlin had not struggled, wanting to appear broken and weak. Caldwell had sneered at him as he was tied, calling him a coward and a disgrace but Merlin did not mind. Much could be achieved by being underestimated; as Merlin had proved many times over the past few years.**

 **But all thoughts of how he would try and free them were pushed from his mind as Caldwell approached, dragging a young man with him. The youth was tall, dark haired and well featured. There was something about him that seemed to remind Merlin of someone but there was no time to follow this line of thought as the young man was pushed in front of everyone. He stood there, plainly terrified but trying to be brave.**

 **Caldwell stepped forward and began to speak.**

" **This" he sneered "is my son. A kind, sensitive young man, despite his upbringing. He is a great disappointment to me; too much like his slave of a mother. But it does not matter as it means I will not have to share any of the power with him; he does not have what it takes to rule and to instil fear into the unworthy."**

 **Merlin looked at the boy, more closely this time and he saw the youths head rise in pride at this description. At once the warlock liked the boy very much. To have the character to resist the temptations of darkness and the strength to fight against his (no doubt awful) upbringing proved he had a good heart. And there was still something about him that Merlin just could not place.**

 **A groan from Arthur drew Merlin's attention away from the youth. The King was trying to sit up a little straighter and seemed to be beginning to grasp what was going on but he was clearly still far from fully cognisant of his surroundings. Arthur looked around with dull eyes and seemed as if he was staring directly at Merlin and then the boy. A sudden rush of understanding crossed his face and the King began to struggle, to try and break free of his bonds. But this action seemed beyond his body's strength and a look of pain crossed his face, his eyes closed and he was deeply unconscious once more. Despite his friend's obvious injury Merlin was actually almost happy that the King was not totally aware of the situation; it would make it easier for him to use his magic when the time came.**

" **Now boy, it is time for you to do what you were put on this miserable Earth to do." Caldwell spoke as if the young man was less than the dirt on his boots. Clearly he had no love for his son; the boy had merely been conceived and raised for this one moment. "If you do it well Gwyn, then perhaps I may let you live, possibly even join that worthless Mother of yours."**

 **Caldwell moved over to the boy Gwyn and put a large leather bound book into his hands. The Lord himself held a wooden box. Caldwell lifted the lid and withdrew an object, tightly wrapped in a cloth. The Lord unwrapped it and pulled out a golden object. The amulet. Merlin could feel the malignancy seeping out of it. His magic reacted with a shudder and a sense of revulsion at its presence.**

" **Now speak the spell alongside me and I will do the rest." Caldwell reached over and opened the book to its first page and began to speak in a loud voice, reciting the initial phrase of the incantation.**

 **But his was a lone voice; Gwyn's did not join him.**

 **It took a second or two for Caldwell to realise that the young man was not speaking with him but when he did he stopped, turned round and viciously struck the youth across the side of his head. Gwyn stumbled, nearly fell but somehow managed to remain on his feet, a scared yet defiant look on his rapidly bruising face.**

" **Read it, boy" Caldwell bellowed.**

 **Gwyn just shook his head.**

 **Another blow, one that this time the boy could not withstand and he fell to the floor. Caldwell bent down and grabbed him by his neck, pulling the dazed youth to his feet.**

" **Read it."**

 **Again the shake of the head. Caldwell roared with anger and raised his immense arm, ready to strike again.**

 **Merlin knew that this blow would kill the boy and in all good conscience he could not let that happen. He had to stop it and was about to use his magic to protect Gwyn when he heard a voice.**

" **My Lord, remember you foresaw this in your omniscience. This is why you took precautions." It was Arnall, Deryn's** **husband who now spoke, gingerly but loudly enough to stop Caldwell's hand from falling. "I have her outside my Lord, as instructed."**

 **For a moment it was obvious that his need to hurt his son was so powerful that Caldwell found it hard not to strike, but then Merlin could see him think it through. If he killed the boy, tempting though it was, he would have to wait even more years for his chance to gain the amulets full power and that was just not an option. He lowered his hand and instead of hitting the boy he caressed his cheek, pinching the swelling bruise. Gwyn winced but did not break eye contact. The more Merlin saw of this young man the more he admired him.**

" **Arnall is correct. I had a feeling that you might not do as you were ordered so I made another plan. If you do not fear for your own life perhaps there is one for whom you will fear. Bring her in."**

 **At once Arnall and another man left the room and returned moments later with another figure. Merlin's heart clenched in fear as he saw who it was. Deryn. Oh god he thought, this was his fault. He had involved her and now she was going to pay the price. Somehow Caldwell had found out about her helping him and was going to use her to make him…then he realised that she was there as insurance for Gwyn to make him read the spell; not to get him, Merlin, to do anything. But why on Earth would Caldwell think that the boy would care about…**

" **Mother"**

 **The quiet cry suddenly made it all clear. Gwyn had looked up and seen who was being brought in and at once all resistance left him. Merlin finally realised why the boy had seemed so familiar. He was Deryn's son. The child that she had spoken of as lost. Merlin had assumed had meant he had died. But it was worse than that. He was Caldwell's son and had been taken from her to be raised by the Lord.**

" **Gwyn. I am sorry."**

 **Merlin saw the expressions on both mother and son's faces and knew that despite all they had endured, love had grown and survived between them. And he knew that Gwyn would now incant the spell. He would not allow anything to befall his mother if he could prevent it. Merlin understood that emotion and forgave him. After all, the warlock had done the similar things to protect those he loved.**

" **I will do as you ask my Lord" Gwyn's voice was defeated "Just do not harm her."**

 **Caldwell grinned and motioned for Deryn to be brought in front of the boy so that he could see the knife held to her throat by her own husband.**

" **Just do everything right and I may let her live boy."**

 **Gwyn nodded once and raised the book. Sensing it was nearly time, Merlin readied his magic. As soon as the spell was said he would break his (and Arthur's) bonds, grab onto Caldwell's arm and journey with him into the nightmare world. What he hoped to do there, and how he planned to release Gaius, Merlin was still not sure. But at least there he stood some chance, out here there was nothing he could do. All he needed was for Gwyn and Caldwell to say the spell.**

 **Both voices suddenly filled the Great Hall and Merlin knew he had to time this precisely. He closed his eyes and was pulling up all his reserves of magic when he heard the cry of pain. Arthur's cry. The warlock opened his eyes to see an awful sight. Caldwell was standing between the chairs, his dagger in his hand and was swiping it over Arthur's wrist. Blood spurted from the Kings arm, the deep cut having severed his artery. Merlin froze.**

 **Caldwell smiled "I told you I needed blood. And a sacrifice. In fact two of them to bind the darkness to me and allow my mortal body to travel to the place of damned souls."**

 **Merlin was horrified, all he could see was Arthur dying in front of him; a nightmare he had had so many times was now a reality. Desperately he managed to raise his bound hand a little and cast a spell to try and free Arthur's arms and to heal his wounds.**

 **But Merlin did not have time to see if his magic had succeeded as Caldwell had immediately turned to him, raised his dagger and slashed again. Merlin felt an intense pain as his wrist too was cut. The gash was not as deep as Arthur's and had missed the main artery but even so it bleed so very quickly.**

 **Simultaneously Gwyn and Caldwell both said the final words of the spell and Merlin had no time left; he could only pray that his spell had saved his King. Ignoring the agony of his wrist Merlin broke free of his bindings and flung himself towards Caldwell. As he made contact with the Lord the now familiar white, torturous light flashed across his vision and the darkness fell.**

 **As the pain in his head grew Merlin knew that at least in this he had been successful. He was journeying to the awful place alongside Caldwell. There was nothing now he could do for Arthur so he had to concentrate on freeing Gaius. For if he failed all that he and the King had suffered would be in vain and the three of them would die.**

 **As he opened his eyes to the blackness of the subterranean hell Merlin knew that he was prepared to give up his own life in a moment to ensure that Arthur and Gaius lived.**

 **XXX**


	15. Chapter 15

**Chapter 15**

" **So not such a useless coward after all then boy?"**

 **Caldwell's voice permeated through the darkness and into Merlin's ear. The warlock opened his eyes and found that the giant of a man was standing directly in front of him; looking at him with an interested expression on his face.**

" **Magic hey? And in Camelot too? I wonder if the King** **knows about it?" Caldwell paused and looked even more closely at the young man before him. "I would say not, am I right? Well it does not matter as he is dying and so are you. I give you credit though; your skills have brought you with me. Something I did not realise could happen. But it will do you little good as you cannot compare with me even in my present state, let alone once I have come into my full power."**

 **Merlin just glared at Caldwell as he boasted. But inside he was promising that nothing would prevent him from stopping this evil creature from gaining his desire. Nothing.**

" **How are you feeling boy?"**

 **Caldwell's voice oozed false concern as he looked downwards at Merlin's wrist. The young man's gaze followed and Merlin was alarmed by what he saw. Blood was seeping from the wound. Given the soaked state of his sleeve and the seemingly endless drops of red floating in the ether around him, Merlin knew that he had lost a dangerous amount. Time was running out. For a brief moment he was distracted with thoughts of Arthur and if he had managed to save him. But Merlin shook his head and cleared his mind of this fear. There was nothing he could do about that now; such worry would only divert him from his task.**

" **I am well enough thank you." Merlin looked up directly into Caldwell's face and answered in a clear and steady voice. "My magic is free born and it will defeat you."**

 **A great guffaw of laughter escaped the giant's mouth and he rocked backwards and forwards with dark mirth.**

" **It is almost a pity that you have to die boy; you can be so entertaining."**

 **Suddenly the laughter stopped and Caldwell grabbed Merlin's arm; squeezing hard at the wound. Blood flowed ever more quickly and Merlin could barely stop himself from screaming with the pain.**

" **But to enable me to take my power with me to the next level of despair I need more sacrifice. I had intended to cut myself, a small sacrifice given that I am about to claim eternal life. But now I have your blood to take the next step down safely boy."**

 **Caldwell smeared Merlin's blood over his own hands and face. As the disgusted and weakened warlock watched the Lord spoke the final words of the spell that allowed him and his dark magic access to the pit of the lost souls.**

 **And Merlin once more reached out, grabbed onto him and fell alongside the monster.**

 **XXX**

 **For a moment Merlin thought that the spell had failed. Everything was so different from the other times he had entered this place. Whilst he was still floating unanchored to anything there was no noise, no wailing and no other souls present. He was confused. Where were all the tormented ones? Where was Caldwell and most importantly where was Gaius? Agonisingly he thought that perhaps Caldwell had been able to separate from him; leave him abandoned in some part of hell that he had not yet visited. The fear of being here alone and unable to save those he cared for seemed to paralyse his mind. Merlin had no idea what to do.**

 **But then they came, swirling beside him, weeping for their sins and their destiny. It felt strange, Merlin thought to himself as he was surrounded and engulfed by their pain, to welcome the return of such suffering. But welcome it he did; even as they began to once more affect him. His head was beginning to ache, his eyes to burn and his body to contort. But he gave into it willingly as it proved that he had succeeded; he was there with Caldwell and Gaius. The pain he was feeling was merely the first price. One he was glad to pay.**

 **Merlin felt his magic stir, to try and begin to protect him but he repressed it. He knew he would need all of it to achieve what he had to and could not waste any on saving himself some pain.**

 **Slowly one voice began to stand out from the rest, an incantation of dark spells and blood magic. Merlin knew at once who it was and what he was doing. Caldwell. He was taking the final stage towards gaining his heart's desire – absolute power and godlike immortality.**

 **Pushing aside the growing pain in his head Merlin began to force his floating body towards the voice, knowing instinctively that where Caldwell was he would be sure to find Gaius. The warlock knew that the Lord would want the older man to witness his rise. It would be the culmination of his revenge towards the physician. That was where Merlin needed to be if he had any hope of interfering with Caldwell's plans. Remembering Gaius's warning that to touch one of these lost souls would trap him forever Merlin took great care to avoid them as he moved nearer; though their piteous cries lay heavy on him.**

" **And still you follow me boy?" Caldwell stopped saying the spell and looked over to Merlin as he approached. "You are determined if nothing else. See my old friend, your little runt of a follower has come to witness alongside you."**

 **Merlin looked down and there he saw Gaius, floating as if hanging from a beam, arms painfully stretched above him. He looked even worse than he had before; pale and almost transparent. The warlock knew that time had nearly run out, there was little left of Gaius's image and soon he too would become one of those moaning, fleeting wisps that inhabited this hell.**

" **As the boy is here" Caldwell smiled as he addressed Gaius "maybe it is a good time to tell you that his body is still up there in the real World, dying."**

 **Caldwell chuckled at the look of horror and despair that crossed Gaius's face at this announcement and then happily continued.**

" **Oh yes, both him and your King** **are giving their lives' to enable me to collect what is mine. Well, not willingly given but rather taken. But the end result is the same. As their life's blood flows from their veins so the energy from these damned souls will flow into mine. I will absorb it all and it will combine with my own dark magic to make me immortal and undefeatable. Almost beautiful really, the symmetry."**

 **Merlin tried to give Gaius an encouraging smile, one that was supposed to say that he had a plan and that everything was going to be alright. But all that he could muster was a small tear and a look that tried to convey the warlocks love and regret. His look was returned with one so similar it broke the young man's heart; the affection and respect he saw in Gaius's eyes almost unbearable.**

 **Then an unearthly, deep growling sound interrupted them and both looked up to see that Caldwell was standing in the midst of a gathering of the lost souls and they were slowly being pulled towards him. The first one to get there twisted and turned, desperately trying to free itself from this trap but it was to no avail. Caldwell's mouth was a gaping maw and the shadow was dragged into it; screaming and bewailing its fate as it disappeared.**

 **As it disappeared from sight the others cried louder and began to struggle against the dark magic that was calling them but it was no use. Soul after soul fell and Caldwell seemed to know no limits.**

 **As Merlin watched the Lord began to grow even taller and more imposing; he was also giving off an incredibly powerful sense of evil. A deep crimson glow flew from him, his fingertips first and then from all parts of his body as he absorbed more and more of the lost ones. Merlin could sense that the point of no return was nearly upon them. Realising that it might be his only chance Merlin called forth his magic.**

 **It surged out of his body with a force that he had never felt before; it streamed towards Caldwell as if it truly understood what failure would mean. The loss of everything.**

 **But as it struck Caldwell Merlin suddenly knew that it might not be enough. He had drained his magic actually getting here and the atmosphere of the nightmare world had also taken some of its power. As his magic met that of the evil Lord a balance was reached. Both powers held the other back but neither could prevail. Sparks of golden and crimson light flew through the air; loud crashes and thunder claps threatened to deafen Merlin. He flung out both arms, oblivious to the blood that now streamed down his wrist. But it was not enough. He was able to slow down Caldwell's consumption of souls but not stop it altogether. And with each new soul gathered to him the Lord's power increased. Merlin strained, pushing his magic to its limits but he began to feel himself weakening and knew that soon he would not be able to continue.**

" **Emrys? Emrys?"**

 **Merlin straightened up, aware that his druid name was being called. But how? Caldwell did not know of it and Gaius would never call him by it.**

" **Emrys. You. We…waited…you…our salvation…help you"**

 **The voice was almost muffled and full of pain and as Merlin looked around him to try and locate it he suddenly saw one of the lost souls hovering in front of him. It was all that was left of a man, clothed in a grey cloak and with his arm outstretched. Merlin could just make out the remnants of a face. One that showed such agony and hopelessness but also, somewhere deep within, joy. The shadow man reached out his arm even further and turned it over.**

" **Emrys…am fallen but…once…was"**

 **With a start Merlin realised that the mouth had not moved and that he was hearing the voice inside his head. The warlock looked down at the proffered arm and just there on the back of the wrist he could make out a small, faded mark. A druid's tattoo.**

" **You were a druid?" Merlin asked with his mind.**

" **Went astray…seduced…dark magic…long ago"**

 **Merlin could feel the regret and sorrow in the lost druids mind and how hard it was for him to communicate even in the hurried and incomplete fashion he was managing.**

" **Help you…you risk remaining…but if you touch me…all magic join…others too…many druids…await our king…to help Emrys…perhaps will gain our redemption."**

 **A sudden surge of agony in his head brought Merlin's attention back to the battle between his magic and Caldwell's. In the brief seconds that he had been distracted Caldwell had managed to absorb many more souls and was now able to push back Merlin's magic. The young warlock could feel the pain as it fought and failed; it drew down energy from Merlin's body but it was not enough. He was going to lose; Gaius would die; Arthur would be lost and Caldwell would rule.**

 **No. He would not allow it.**

 **Turning to the lost druid Merlin spoke.**

" **If I touch you we will be able to join all the magic and experience of the other druids here?**

" **Yes Lord."**

" **Do all here seek redemption? Will all help?" Merlin asked.**

" **So many of us Lord…waited centuries…gave up hope…never thought…but you…here…We will fight…But danger Lord…you touch us…such pain…and if you lose…you stay forever."**

 **The druid was getting weaker and weaker as he passed on his message but Merlin could feel his sincerity. He did not need reminding of the danger of being trapped in the nightmare world but he gave it little thought. It was a risk but it was the only chance he had of saving Gaius and he jumped at it. Without hesitation he reached out his hand and grabbed the ghostly vision before him. He was not sure what he had expected but whatever it was nothing could have prepared him for what it actually felt like.**

 **A thousand daggers pierced his body and a hundred torches burned his mind. His hand was clenched around something that was there and not there at the same time. But it radiated pain; now all concentrating on Merlin. He managed to open an eye and saw hundreds of lost souls grabbing hold of each other and by extension him. They fought and struggled to join the chain, to be part of the force that might defeat Caldwell, destroy the amulet and give them an end. But as his magic joined with them all Merlin suffered the literal agonies of the damned. It was only the thought of failing Gaius that kept him from collapsing as the burning and the stabbing pain grew and grew.**

 **The numberless souls kept joining and his magic took them all. Merlin drew on all his own suffering, regrets and losses and pushed past the pain. Raising his free arm up into the darkness he drew all the power to himself and unleashed it in one unspoken spell.**

 **A golden web of thousands and thousands of lights flickered and glowed in the air as they formed a cover over his head. As they met they combined together and became a living shield, waving and moving in the endless darkness of the nightmare world. The power of the combined suffering and hope for redemption was palpable and Merlin could barely contain it. But he did not need to hold it for long. The change in the magic surrounding him had alerted Caldwell and he had turned once more to look in the direction of the young warlock he had so recently dismissed as worthless.**

 **What he saw shocked him. For the first time in his memory he was scared. The gathered ranks of all those lost souls – both druids and magic users – faced him, determination rising from them. And at their head the young man, Merlin.**

 **Caldwell could see the anguish that this was causing the youth but he could also see the willingness to risk everything and the courage to try. As he looked up the Lord could only gasp as he saw the great shield of power rising above that insignificant boy. He had never seen anything like it and for a moment he panicked that he would not be able to defeat it. But then he felt one more soul join him and he knew he was undefeatable. He had the power of the darkness and immortality on his side and nothing could destroy him. Then the youth spoke.**

" **Caldwell, it is not too late. Renounce what you desire, free Gaius and return to your life. I will spare you if you promise this." Despite his obvious pain Merlin's voice was strong, calm and certain.**

 **But Caldwell did not hear the offer; he was angry beyond all else. That this runt, this nothing, would challenge him at the peak of his powers was insulting and he would crush him. Make him the example by which all others would fear him.**

 **Holding out both arms Caldwell spoke the most deathly spell he knew and used all his newly gained power to direct it straight at the upstart. As the magic flew the Lord smiled, knowing he would get a lot of pleasure out of the death of the boy.**

 **But the smile froze on his face as he saw the gold shield fly down, swallow up his most forceful magic and then, with a speed that just defied everything he knew, head for him. He only had time to think of how he had so underestimated this boy before the golden light smothered his crimson glow and absorbed his immortality. Gold overtook crimson and the blood like light bled into the other so quickly it was as if it had never existed. In an instant all that he had worked for was gone and he was powerless and alone.**

 **Dazed the Lord stared at the young man who had united so many of the lost souls and bested him. And all he could think of was how? How had the boy done it? The youth looked straight at him, as if he knew what was eating at the Lord's soul. And he answered all the evil man's questions with three words; just three little words that explained it all.**

" **I am Emrys."**

 **Caldwell's head dropped as he now knew all was lost and he had refused the last chance the boy had offered him. Caldwell looked about him, at the suddenly still and silent souls that circled him; those he had been about to destroy. He heard as their mutterings of hate began and grew in strength. He began to cry as he realised the fate that awaited him.**

 **All around him the unrepentant souls who had not joined in the fight to aid Merlin now saw the chance for revenge against the man who could have freed them but who chose not to. They knew that with the initial power he had gained from the amulet Caldwell could have let them carry on their journeys and released them from this horrific limbo. But instead he had chosen to keep them trapped and then to devour so many of them, thus denying them the chance of ever gaining peace. And all to win the power they had lost their lives for. He had sacrificed them to gain immortality and they hated him for it, even if he had failed.**

 **So they grinned; their lipless mouths taking on the chilling look of hell hounds. They slowly floated towards him, enjoying the growing terror of the man who would have condemned them to eternal damnation; their own actions now consigning them to the pit forever. But they cared little for anything but revenge.**

 **As one being, they descended upon him and his body was soon lost in a sea of rampaging terror. His screams were unearthly, soon submerged under the awful sound of the ripping of flesh and the smashing of bones**

 **Merlin turned away, unable to watch this bitter end. Even though Caldwell had been evil; the young warlock would not wish this fate on anyone. But it had not been within his power to prevent it once his offer of clemency had been refused.**

 **A final plea from Caldwell emerged from the swirling mass of horror and Merlin flinched as he heard the once powerful man cry out.**

" **Finish me, for pity's sake, just finish me."**

 **The unrepentant souls gathered up the dismembered body of the Lord and fled off into the darkness, cackling with obscene pleasure at their treasure of flesh. All lost forever.**

 **The young warlock still clasped the hand of the fallen druid and he turned towards him, suddenly so very weak and in pain. He needed their help to free Gaius and he was just about to ask when he saw it.**

 **All around him the wretched shadows who had helped him were returning to their proper forms, their bodies becoming whole in front of his eyes. Human like, yet still transparent.**

 **Looking for answers he sought them from the druid.**

" **We are redeemed in the sight of the old magic. We will gain entrance to Avalon now thanks to you Lord Emrys." He smiled as he spoke.**

" **No, it is I who must thank you." Exhausted as he was Merlin knew he could not have beaten Caldwell without them. "But I have one more request. Can you aid me in freeing Gaius?"**

" **Of course my Lord, we will do whatever we can in the time left to us." He replied.**

 **Relief washed over Merlin; it was nearly over. Soon he would have Gaius and they could return to Camelot. And for the first time he began to have faith that surely Arthur was alright too? Everything was going to be as it should be. He had faith.**

 **Faith that was destroyed mere seconds later as one by one the druids disappeared. They were being called back to Avalon and there was nothing he could do to stop it.**

" **My Lord, I will give up my chance to go to Avalon to aid you. It will be my pleasure to serve you." The first druid held tightly to Merlin's arm.**

 **For a brief moment Merlin was tempted to allow this but he could not. Merlin knew that this was the old druid's only chance to enter Avalon and he could not let him give it up.**

" **I thank you for your offer my friend but I cannot accept. Too many have died for me already. I will not take from you your chance of rest with the old ones." Merlin laid his hand on top of the ancient man's and gave him a farewell squeeze. "I thank you for your help in this and wish you eternal peace in Avalon."**

" **No my Lord Emrys…" But before the old druid could protest anymore he to vanished, finally making his journey to Avalon; all his misdeeds and mistakes forgiven.**

 **Merlin looked around him at the silent blackness, nothing and no-one in sight. He could not see Gaius anywhere and with a sudden jolt the warlock realised that perhaps Gaius too had gone to Avalon. That he was too late and the old man's body back in Camelot had been empty too long. Despair hit him with such force that he collapsed. After everything he had failed, Gaius was gone. Merlin's body gave up on him and he sank down into the surrounding mire. His head pounded and his entire being was wracked with pain. He could do no more; he needed to sleep, to stay here alone forever.**

" **Merlin, my boy."**

 **With those words Merlin started awake. It was Gaius calling him from somewhere in the empty darkness. Gaius was still trapped, he had not joined the others in Avalon. There was hope.**

 **Merlin moved towards the sound and suddenly there he was; still suspended but now with a smile on his tired face.**

" **You did it. You defeated him. Not that I ever had any doubt, my boy." Gaius gave a faint chuckle but Merlin could hear the exhaustion lying behind it and knew that the old man was near his breaking point.**

" **Gaius, thank the Gods you are still here; I feared you had gone with them."**

 **Merlin reached over and tried release the old man with magic. As he did so the true extent of his own exhaustion struck home. He did not have the power to get Gaius down. Dropping his head and shoulders in desperation he quietly explained the situation to Gaius; he could do nothing to aid him.**

" **Don't worry my boy, a few more hours will not kill me. With so many souls gone the draining power this place has on you is not as strong. Sleep and you will gain strength. Once you have rested and your magic is strong again it will not be a problem for you to free me and we will both go." Gaius raised an eyebrow and looked at his ward, the old man moving into physician mode automatically, despite his own situation "You need to sleep Merlin and don't argue. And you need to bind your wound, it may have stopped bleeding but you would appear to have lost quite a lot of blood and we don't want it getting infected. You are no good to anyone in the state you are in."**

" **You are right Gaius, a rest and I will be good as new and we can get out of…"**

" **Come on idiot, please" A voice called for him and Merlin turned his head towards the sound.**

 **There was a sudden painful flash of light and Merlin felt himself hurtling back through time and space and when he next opened his eyes all he could see was the Great Hall of Caldwell's Manor House and Arthur standing in front of him looking both worried and triumphant.**

" **I got you back then, Merlin! You can always count on me." Arthur said clapping the exhausted manservant on the back.**

 **Merlin looked around him desperately, but with little hope. It was as he had feared; Gaius was not there. He had come back but the old physician was still in the nightmare world, trapped and alone.**

 **Merlin grabbed hold of Arthur's chain mail and stared him straight in the face.**

" **Too soon Arthur, too soon. He is still there and I have failed."**

 **With those words Merlin's abused body and soul finally gave up the fight and he collapsed against Arthur; who was the only thing that kept the broken warlock from falling onto the hard unforgiving ground.**

 **XXX**


	16. Chapter 16

**Chapter 16**

 **Arthur struggled wildly against the men who were trying to tie him to the chair. From the corner of his eye he saw Merlin seemingly willingly submit to being tied down and briefly the King wondered at this. But not for long as he was drawn back into his own struggle. One of the guards, an ugly ill-kempt man smelling strongly of alcohol, tried to force the King's arm down towards the wooden chair but Arthur easily overpowered him and managed to punch the ruffian directly in the mouth. Sadly any feelings of pleasure at this small victory were soon smothered as blow after blow rained down upon him. The other guards had had enough and even Arthur could not resist so many men, although he tried.**

 **Though they were under strict instructions not to kill the captives Caldwell had said nothing to the guards about hurting them so finally one of the men gave up using his hands and hit Arthur with a cudgel. The King collapsed down into the chair and the men could eventually tie him up. And if one or two of them gave this irritating prisoner an extra punch or slap as they secured him who could blame them?**

 **XXX**

 **There were voices…noise and light coming from above him. Arthur felt that it was important that he open his eyes. Something was going on, something that he needed to help with. But for some reason he could not quite remember.**

 **But the idea that he was needed kept nudging at the King and he knew he had to make the effort and try to wake up. Groaning Arthur willed his eyes to finally open and he was rewarded with the sight of Merlin opposite him, tied to a chair and staring at him with obvious concern on his face. Merlin looked ill; tired and pale. And in that moment Arthur recalled all that had happened. The Manor House, Gaius, Merlin…the immortality spell. Gazing around him Arthur could see Lord Caldwell standing next to a young man and with a gut wrenching certainty the King realised that this was Caldwell's son and that the evil Lord was about to begin to enact the spell. Though the boy was an unwilling participant if his face was anything to go by. Arthur knew that he had to do something to stop this from happening and he began to struggle against the ropes tying him. He felt some give in them and pulled even harder but then he moved his head too quickly and a wave of nausea and pain hit him with a massive force. Weak and battered as he was Arthur tried to fight the on-coming darkness but it was impossible. As he fell into it Arthur could only think about Merlin and Gaius and how they were dead without him.**

 **XXX**

 **From deep within the blackness that held him tight Arthur felt the strike of the blade against his skin, the cut of the wound that spilled blood with such force. His unconscious knew that this was a fatal blow and felt it best not to rouse and face death awake for there only pain and despair awaited. So it kept him deep in the darkness, to slip slowly into the final sleep.**

 **But then a searing pain, followed by a warm and comforting feeling of healing centred itself on his arm and Arthur sighed deeply in his sleep and his soul knew that he was saved.**

 **XXX**

 **With a start Arthur sat upright and put both arms up to his face. His head ached and he could feel one of his eyes was swollen up. What the bloody hell had happened? A dull pain from his wrist got his attention and he looked down at it. There was a raised red scar, about three inches long on his arm. It looked freshly healed and Arthur just did not understand. He had not been injured on the wrist lately so why was it there? He shifted uncomfortably on his chair as more aches and pains made themselves known.**

 **Looking around him Arthur had a moment of total confusion as he tried to work out where he was and how he had got there.**

 **Then with a sudden rush it all came back to him. He had been captured, beaten and tied to a chair. All so Caldwell could gain full power from the Dark Amulet. Arthur ran his hand through his hair, feeling the bump on the back of his head…wait a minute he thought. How the hell could he move his hands if he was tied to the chair?**

 **Looking down Arthur saw the body of the young man, Caldwell's son, lying on the floor right by his feet. Perhaps this was the answer thought the King, the youth had seemed unwilling to go along with his Father so maybe he had tried to free the prisoners and had been attacked for his efforts? That had to be it…as to the healed wound that had to be of Caldwell's doing. Why? Arthur neither knew nor really cared. The man was a lunatic…**

 **Suddenly the King stopped his current train of thought as something struck him in what he had just said. What was it? Lunatic? Wound? Prisoners? Prisoners. Plural; more than one; not just himself.**

" **Oh gods, Merlin." Arthur groaned as he desperately looked around him. What he saw made him gasp and his stomach reel. For there, tied into a wooden chair, was Merlin. The young man was slumped forward, his dark hair obscuring his face. But Arthur did not need to see his friend's features to know that he was in trouble. All he needed to do was to look at the rapidly increasing pool of thickening blood gathering underneath Merlin's left arm. Screwing up his eyes to see better Arthur could just make out a wound on Merlin's wrist; very similar to Arthur's healed one. And it was still bleeding, granted very sluggishly now. But given the amount of blood already lying on the floor Arthur knew that Merlin could not afford to lose much more.**

 **The King moved his head and quietly surveyed the rest of the room. It would seem as if no-one had noticed that he had regained consciousness and Arthur knew that if he was to rescue himself and Merlin he needed to avoid attracting attention for as long as possible. As a soldier he could not comprehend why there were no guards watching him; but as he looked around the room he began to understand.**

 **All the people in the room were staring transfixed by a sight that would have defied all explanation; had Arthur not finally given in and accepted that dark magic was being used.**

 **Caldwell was floating about a foot off the floor, arms outstretched and his mouth wide open. A crimson glow began emanating from his entire body and even as Arthur watched this light got stronger and deeper in colour. It also seemed as if Caldwell himself was getting bigger, but Arthur was not quite up to accepting that and decided that it was merely an optical illusion. What he could not deny, as he looked back once more towards Merlin's limp body, was that he needed to do something fast.**

 **Whilst the guards were distracted and with his hands free Arthur got quietly but quickly to his feet. For a moment the earth wobbled and he felt sick but that settled as soon as he walked forward and grabbed the nearest guard from behind. Helped by his (as he liked to think) amazing skills as a warrior (and not at all by the fact that the men in the room were so enthralled and stupefied by what they were watching that a charging bull could probably have run through the room unnoticed) Arthur managed to down the first two guards without making any noise and alerting the others. But then it got trickier. He managed to wound one guard and kill the other but as he was fighting with the third he did not notice the last guard coming out of the shadows behind him, a wickedly sharp long dagger in his hands. It was Arnall.**

 **The drunken lout crept up behind the oblivious King; ready to kill him. Arthur just got the better of the man he was fighting and as his opponent fell to the ground some inbuilt soldier's instinct warned the King of the danger approaching from behind.**

 **Arthur swung around to face the attacker but knew at once that it was too late. Arnall had the dagger raised, all ready to plunge into the King. Arthur realised that he did not have the time to parry the thrust. As the knife fell the King breathed deeply for what he thought would be the last time.**

 **But then with a grunt and a look of confusion on his face the odious man buckled at the knees and fell face forward onto the ground.**

" **He deserved that and more." Deryn** **said with a grimly determined smile as she dropped the large wooden cudgel. "For everything he has done to me and my son and for hurting you and Merlin."**

 **Arthur stared open mouthed as the woman bent down and took the dagger, placing it expertly into her belt. The King could not believe that he had missed her presence in the room but was very grateful that she had been there. His youthful embarrassment at being saved by a woman had long since passed. After years of fighting dark magic and the enemies of Camelot he had learned to take support from any source willing to give it.**

" **I thank you Deryn." Arthur said hurriedly "It was a timely blow." As he spoke they both moved. She to check on her son and the King to Merlin. But Arthur was stopped in his tracks as he suddenly remembered Caldwell. Merlin would have to wait, the evil Lord needed to be defeated first.**

 **Arthur turned towards the giant and for a moment he was at a loss as to what to do. He could not remember the last time he had seen something or someone that seemed so unassailable. The bloody glow was now almost blinding and the sense of misdoing and wickedness that emanated from Caldwell was terrifying. But Arthur was not still for long, a quick glance over his shoulder at Merlin and the memory of the suffering he had seen Gaius undergoing and he began to move towards the floating figure. He would kill Caldwell or give his own life in the attempt. It was the honourable and right thing to do.**

 **Sword raised high Arthur charged with full force but it was as if he had run directly into a stone wall. He hit the crimson light and it threw him back bodily; he crashed hard onto the floor and for a second could barely breathe. The impact had forced all the air out of his lungs and his previous injuries began to all fight for his attention. But Arthur was not going to give in and, with a groan, he stiffly climbed back onto his feet and began to run forward once more.**

 **But this time as he got to within a few inches of the repelling light something happened. Caldwell let out a roar, then all the crimson surrounding him disappeared and he crashed to the floor, hardly able to keep to his feet. Arthur stopped his attack and looked on in astonishment as the Lord looked around him, terror and incomprehension showing in his eyes.**

 **Then the screaming began; horrible, pained and dreadful screaming. Arthur covered his ears as the sound ate into him. He tried to drag his eyes away from the sight of the agony and fear that Caldwell was going through but it was impossible. The man, for he was now just a man, was in anguish. Writhing and crying out in pain, it was hard to watch, even given how evil the Lord had been. Arthur did not know what to do. But then it seemed as if, in a brief moment of clarity, Caldwell had actually seen the King standing there, sword in hand and he cried out to him.**

" **Finish me, for pity's sake just finish me."**

 **And Arthur walked forward, raised his sword and plunged it directly into Caldwell's heart.**

 **But if both men had thought that this would bring an immediate end to Caldwell's suffering they were mistaken. The small touch of immortality that he had absorbed was not enough to keep him alive but it was enough to prolong his agony. In front of Arthur's horrified gaze Caldwell remained aware of the awful indignities and actions that his body was enduring. More rips and cuts appeared on his arms, torso and legs. Bones were crushed and intestines ripped out. And all the while he was able to feel it all. If his screams had been disturbing before they were now inhuman and Arthur could not bear it.**

 **He took his sword and tried again and again to finish Caldwell's suffering but it felt like someone or something was repelling his blade. Arthur was desperate but could do nothing.**

 **Then finally it was over. His body and mind ripped apart Caldwell gave one last despairing cry and the bloody lifeless mess that was left fell to the floor. Arthur turned away in disgust and even a little sorrow. No-one truly deserved such an end.**

 **As he turned he saw that the young woman had left tending her son and had been setting Merlin free, though she too had stopped everything to watch the horror that was taking place.**

" **How is he?" Arthur managed to gasp as he strode quickly forward to Merlin.**

" **Very weak" she replied "He has lost a lot of blood."**

 **Arthur looked despairingly at Merlin. Had all this been for nothing? The seemingly lifeless body of his friend was still slumped in the chair. The King walked quickly over to where the young man was sitting and leant over him to check on his condition for himself.**

" **Come on idiot, please." Arthur whispered in his ear.**

 **Without warning Merlin suddenly sprung to his feet, stared about the room in anguish.**

" **I got you back then, Merlin! You can always count on me." Arthur said clapping the exhausted manservant on the back.**

 **Merlin stared at the King and then with unexpected speed grabbed hold of Arthur's chain mail and spoke**

" **Too soon Arthur, too soon. He is still there and I have failed."**

 **With those words Merlin's eyes closed and he collapsed. Arthur caught him and prevented his fall to the ground. As the King held his gravely injured friend he could not help but pale at his last words. What had he done? What did Merlin mean that it was too early? But really he already knew the answer. Somehow Merlin had re-entered the dominion of lost souls. The King could only assume that he had been taken there by Caldwell's spell, for some nefarious reason. And whilst there he had found the old physician. The King realised that Merlin had been at the point of rescuing Gaius and he, Arthur, had somehow prevented it.**

 **Laying the young man down gently on the ground Arthur was petrified that this was true and that he himself had condemned Gaius to an eternity of pain and suffering; Merlin to the sorrow of regret and himself to a lifetime of deep guilt.**

 **XXX**

 **As Merlin's body fell a small object dropped silently from the dead hand of Caldwell and rolled over to where Gwyn lay unconscious on the floor. A faint glow emanated from it as it seemed to move under its own volition and buried itself in his jacket pocket. Unseen and unremarked the Amulet had found its next home.**

 **XXX**


	17. Chapter 17

**Chapter 17**

A/N The following chapter contains a brief mention of past rape. Just so you know.

 **Arthur sat on the dirt floor, his back supported by the rough wall of the cottage. His head was resting on his knees and his eyes were fully closed. Although his body and mind were exhausted beyond normal endurance sleep still eluded him. Not while Merlin lay on the small cot next to him, pale and unmoving.**

 **The past few hours had been a blur of activity and movement. As soon as Merlin had collapsed the woman, Deryn, had taken over. She had instructed the King to lie the young man on the ground and had proceeded to bind his wounds as best she could, using her ripped up apron. Arthur had looked on, seemingly unable to move or help in any way, still shocked by what he had done. He had sat there, Merlin's head on his lap and just concentrated on making sure his friend was actually still breathing. He could hear and see nothing except the young man…that was until Deryn had whacked him on the back of the head, told him to stop being so self-indulgent and to help her.**

 **After a minute of initial shock about being scolded in such a fashion Arthur had realised that she was right and began to be a soldier once more. He had checked over the fallen guards, tied up those who were still alive and removed their weapons. Counting the bodies and the restrained men he had known that at least two of Caldwell's men had made good their escape whilst he had been otherwise occupied. But that did not matter at present. Once he had sent for his knights from Camelot Arthur had no doubt that all the guilty parties would be captured. The King would see to it that everyone who had aided and abetted the Lord willingly would be punished; that much he owed the people of the village.**

 **Once it was clear that there was no present danger to Deryn or Merlin he had gone back to where they were in the middle of the room. Merlin was still unconscious, though Arthur had seen that Deryn had been able to stop the bleeding. She had now begun to tend to her son once more.**

 **Gwyn had been waking up and was obviously trying to understand what had happened whilst he had been unconscious. Arthur had knelt down beside him and told him how the events had transpired. As he got to the part about Caldwell's death the King had struggled a little with how to explain. After all, even though he was evil, the man was still the boy's Father.**

" **I am sorry but I had to do it" Arthur had said quietly "If it had been possible I would have brought him to trial; but what was happening to him was just…beyond endurance. But even so I could not save him from the torment. It was not an easy death."**

 **Gwyn's eyes had filled with tears. He had hated and feared Caldwell yet a part of him mourned his death; or perhaps for the death of the Father he had wished for, but now would never have. For a moment he closed his eyes and grieved but then the truth of his Father's actions and character reasserted itself and he spoke**

" **No, you were right to try. But whatever happened to him he deserved it." The youth paused. "He was never kind, loving or even interested in me, beyond my saying the spell for him. And as for what he put the villagers through and my own Mother…" At this point Gwyn had not been able to continue and had reached for his Mother. Deryn had held him as they both wept with relief and delayed shock.**

 **After a little while Arthur had gathered them all up together and they had left the bloody room behind them. Between them, Gwyn and Arthur had carried Merlin towards the stables. They had taken some fine looking horses from their stalls, saddled them and had ridden slowly back to the village; none of them wanting to spend any more time in that accursed Manor. Arthur had held Merlin's unconscious body in front of him on the horse and though his friend had not stirred during the entire journey the King had been reassured by the constant, if shallow, breaths the young man had taken.**

 **Now it was late in the evening and they were all back in Deryn's cottage. She had tended to Merlin's wounds again, this time being able to clean and stitch them properly. Arthur had watched as she did so, glad that the young man was still unconscious so he avoided the pain of this treatment. Deryn had then insisted on checking on the King himself and Arthur had to admit that it felt good to have his cuts cleaned and salve spread on his bruises.**

 **Meanwhile Gwyn too seemed incredibly tired and withdrawn, keeping himself away from all company and replying to all with monosyllabic answers and curt nods. Deryn was worried as this was so unlike him but Arthur assured her that it was probably shock and some concussion and that he would be recovered by the morning. Deryn merely looked at her son and nodded at Arthur's words. She would be keeping an eye on the boy as something just did not seem right; she just could not explain what.**

 **But now there was nothing left to do but to sit and wait. Wait for morning to enable them to return to Camelot. And wait for Merlin to wake and tell them all that had happened.**

 **Arthur glanced up as Deryn walked up to the cot and he watched as she felt Merlin's forehead, looking for signs of fever.**

" **It seems he is lucky, there is no heat." As she spoke Arthur relaxed, good news at last.**

" **Thank you again for your help, both for me and for Merlin" Arthur pulled himself up straighter "Without you I fear all would have been lost."**

" **No, it is we who must thank you both. It has been so very difficult here for so long that I had given up all hope."**

 **Deryn continued to stroke Merlin's dark hair as she spoke, studiously avoiding Arthur's eyes as she began to talk of her life.**

" **Years ago I was a young servant girl, a ladies maid to Lady Caldwell. She was kind; but broken by his cruelty, as were her sons. Then they got ill and he took them away. They did not return. He told us they had died but he did not mourn. Oh, if he had been bad before now he was wicked. It was as if he had turned off any last shred of humanity. Violence and brutality were his watchword. We all suffered; both in the village and in the Manor..."**

 **A brief waver of emotion entered her voice and Arthur could sense that she was barely able to carry on speaking. But something told him not to speak, to keep quiet and let her continue when she was able to. He knew that this was something that she needed to say; she had to tell her story.**

" **Rape was common. Any girl or woman who was of child bearing age was used in this fashion. My turn came quickly, I think I was seen as a good prospect for getting with child. I was fifteen years old, fit and healthy. There was no escape, no kindness and no respite." Once again she paused, memories overwhelming her. "If you resisted you were hurt, but I still fought. With all my strength, but it just seemed to encourage him more and I became a "favourite". It was a dark time."**

 **Arthur's hands balled up into a fist, so tight that his nails actually dug into his palms, making them bleed. With this story Arthur's concern over the manner of Caldwell's death finally left him; the man had been a true monster.**

" **But then I gave him what he wanted. I became pregnant. From then on he left me alone. But not the other girls and women. He wanted to make sure of a son and carried on. I am not sure how many children were conceived but he has at least seven sons. Mine was the oldest. He liked to call the others his spares…kept alive just in case my son died. He also had daughters. The boys were fed, given a rudimentary education and kept apart from the rest of the people of the village and the Manor but the girls" a small sob escaped Deryn "…the girls just disappeared. No-one knows what happened to them, the mothers tried to find out but those who asked too many questions were murdered. The best we hoped for was that the babies were sold into slavery; the worst is that they were taken to the forest and abandoned to the wild animals and the cold."**

 **Arthur swore loudly and smashed his fist hard into the ground; the evilness of Caldwell's actions sickened him.**

 **The noise woke the baby who had been sleeping in her crib in the opposite corner. Deryn's eyes softened as she lifted her child up and cradled her gently. And then she continued.**

" **Once I had given him his son Caldwell took the child from me and then forced me to marry Arnall." She sighed. "I should have fought it but I think I was broken. If I had run away he would have found me. Also, if I stayed in the village I believed I could occasionally see my boy, Gwyn. And so it proved. As he got older we managed to meet in secret and I got to know him. He was kind and loving and I knew he would not be able to do what was going to be asked of him. And I feared for his future."**

 **Deryn pulled her daughter closer to her chest; a look of immense gratitude on her face.**

" **So that is why I have to thank you Arthur; you and Merlin. Together you have saved my son and freed this village. What little I have done is but small recompense for the gift you have given us all."**

 **Silence fell as she finished speaking; both lost in their own thoughts.**

 **How long this would have gone on for no-one could tell but it was suddenly broken by a groan from the cot. Arthur moved quickly to the bed where his friend had lain so quietly. But he was quiet no more. His head was moving backwards and forwards, his face lined with pain. Arthur lent forward and touched his shoulder, trying to wake him.**

" **Merlin, Merlin. Come on, you've slept enough now. Gaius needs you." Arthur spoke quietly into Merlin's ear. "I need you."**

 **At these words all Merlin's movements stopped and for one awful second Arthur thought that the young man had gone. But then Merlin's eyelids flickered open and he stared directly up at his King. Arthur nearly gasped as he saw the raw pain and emotion embedded in those blue eyes. The loss that Merlin felt was so apparent and so alive that it was almost unbearable.**

" **There is no helping Gaius" Merlin's voice croaked dryly "I returned without him and I do not know what else I can do. I have failed him, Arthur."**

 **With those words Merlin pulled away from the comforting hands of his both Deryn and Arthur, turned to the wall and withdrew into himself.**

 **XXX**


	18. Chapter 18

**Chapter 18**

 **On the ride back to Camelot Merlin was unbearably quiet and, despite his best intentions to be understanding, it was beginning to really irritate Arthur.**

 **Last night the King had acquiesced to Deryn's suggestion to just leave Merlin to sleep and not to force him to talk about what had happened. She had tried to assure Arthur that pushing him to speak would just make him close up more. Let him tell them what had happened in his own time.**

 **But by the next morning Merlin was still silent. As Arthur rose, ate a meagre breakfast and saddled the two horses Merlin just sat at the door of the cottage and stared out at the dusty main street. He had simply shaken his head when offered food and had only silently agreed to taking a few sips of water. He was still very white and ill looking. His gait as he walked towards the horses was like an old mans, hesitant and pained. Arthur had tried to help him mount but Merlin had waved him away and had done it himself.**

 **Arthur had got on his own horse quickly and easily, in time to turn round and see Merlin still struggling to mount his. Arthur had a sudden feeling of hurt at his attempt of support being rejected. He was not used to offering Merlin help as the manservant always seemed to have things under control. But the one time he had offered it had been turned down. Slowly it began to dawn on Arthur that perhaps Merlin blamed him for what had happened last night. Merlin's only words on the matter were those that he had spoken when he woke up - that he had been brought back too soon.**

" **God's" Arthur thought "He thinks it is my fault and perhaps it is."**

 **The King thought back to Deryn's final parting words.**

" **He will speak of it Arthur, I promise you. It has been a terrible ordeal for us all; but it was worse for him. We do not know what he saw when he was with Caldwell. He is your friend and he will talk to you eventually. Just give him time."**

" **But how much time does he need?" Arthur thought as their horses slowly trudged the road back to the Citadel. The King was not well known for his patience and this silence was taxing him greatly. Arthur needed to know what had happened to Gaius, but Merlin seemed unwilling or unable to tell him. Mile after mile the two men had ridden in unnatural quiet. Not that Arthur expected Merlin to engage in their normal banter after all he had been through but the total lack of communication was impossible to bear.**

 **As the time passed Merlin seemed to slump even lower into the saddle and Arthur began to really worry that he would actually fall off if they did not rest. So he called out that it was time to break for food and Merlin silently stopped, basically fell off the horse and wearily began to try to gather wood for a small camp fire.**

" **Merlin, I can do that. You need to rest."**

 **As he spoke Arthur bent over and began to pick wood from the side of the path. But all the while casting a careful eye over Merlin. It was as if he had not spoken. Merlin was still collecting the wood. Arthur stood up and spoke again.**

" **Seriously Merlin, sit down before you fall down."**

 **Merlin started, his head shooting up as if it was only these words that had reminded him that Arthur was there. He looked at the wood in his arms, nodded once and then just sat down where he was. Unmoving.**

 **Once Arthur had got the fire going and had retrieved the small amount of cold food they had left out of the saddle bags he went and sat beside his friend and handed him some bread. Or at least he tried to; Merlin did not seem to notice the half of a loaf being held directly in front of him. Arthur had to literally poke him with it before Merlin slowly reached out and clasped it. But he did not eat it, just left it on his lap as he continued looking into the flames.**

" **Oh, for pity's sake Merlin"**

 **Arthur had had enough and could hold back no longer. A mixture of guilt, worry and impatience had finally worn him down. He would get Merlin to speak, if it killed him!**

" **Would you please just talk? You have my permission to shout at me, to tell me how this is all my fault. I know I should have believed you at the beginning. And then, at the end, I don't really understand why but I know that it is my fault that you could not get Gaius out."**

 **By this point Arthur had grabbed Merlin by the shoulders and was almost shaking him; desperate to get a reaction of any kind from the almost catatonic young man. But it was as if the Merlin he knew had gone, leaving behind a walking husk. Arthur knew he had to do something before Merlin was lost forever, but what?**

 **Then instinct took over and as always Arthur's instinct was to deal with a situation in a direct and physical manner; action was what he was good at not feelings. So he yelled at him.**

" **Merlin, if you don't speak to me NOW I will put you in the stocks for the rest of the year."**

 **And as he yelled he pushed him in the chest; meaning only to stir Merlin to movement. But instead the young man just collapsed backwards and Arthur was left staring at him lying on the ground, horrified by what he had done.**

 **XXX**

 **It was strange – the feeling he got as he awoke in Deryn's hut. He could see the people around him and almost hear what they were saying but it was as if he himself was behind a glass wall. Merlin did not feel part of this plane of existence; he was separate, isolated from everything.**

 **Then there was Arthur - leaning over him, obviously worried and concerned and for a moment Merlin managed to concentrate enough to open his eyes and speak to his friend. But as soon as the words were out of his mouth all strength left him and he turned over and curled up into a small ball and let the world slip away again.**

 **After that Merlin just drifted along, his mind still empty save for the last image he had of Gaius trapped forever. There was a layer of unreality over the events and actions going on around him. His body just followed along blindly with what was expected of him, but his brain made no further effort to rejoin the world fully. His heart, mind and soul were just too exhausted and the fog he was walking in just seemed so much better. In it there were no true feelings, no real grief to bear, guilt to apportion or death to be acknowledged. It was just emptiness and silence. His magic was exhausted and his whole being was bereft. It was as if finally the life he had been living had taken all he had. Everything that he had sacrificed, all he had lost and all that he had done was gathered up in these moments and he was overwhelmed.**

 **He did as he was told, drank water, got on the horse, tried to a make a fire but it was just his body going through the motions. The battle with Caldwell had exhausted him completely and the depletion of his magic had just compounded the problem. He was empty.**

 **But then he heard it…**

" **Merlin, if you don't speak to me NOW I will put you in the stocks for the rest of the year."**

… **and felt the push to his chest. He fell onto his back and as he felt the cold earth on his back something lit up in him again. Annoyance…no anger! How dare Arthur? After all that had happened, the King threatens him? All memories and thoughts of the last few days left his head as he saw red and fought back.**

 **Belying his usual clumsiness Merlin jumped to his feet and let rip.**

" **Pillock!" He yelled back at the King "Typical of you; a spoiled, self-centred and pompous arse! What did I do this time, hey? Did I make your bath water too hot? Too cold? Did I not get the shine on your boots perfect? Honestly between you and all my jobs for Gaius it's a wonder…"**

 **Suddenly he paused as Gaius's name passed his lips and it all came rushing back to him. Gaius was gone.**

 **Merlin looked up at Arthur, who was smiling sadly at him; and realised what the King had done.**

" **I am sorry Merlin" Arthur spoke gently "It was the only way I could think of reaching you. Being an arse…it just always seems to make you mad and I thought…"**

" **That I would not be able to ignore such prattishness?" Merlin replied.**

 **Arthur nodded. It had seemed like a long shot when the idea had come to him but it had worked. Merlin had been pulled back from the edge. But looking at his friend Arthur realised that pulling him back and keeping him back were two totally different things.**

 **As Merlin's instinctual irritation at Arthur's prat like behaviour wore off the lost look returned very quickly. But this time he did not lose the light behind his eyes and Arthur quickly understood that Merlin had reconnected to the real world and that the time had finally come to talk about what had happened.**

 **XXX**

" **But why did the old druid and the others help you Merlin? That's what I don't understand." Arthur was sitting opposite Merlin and looking at him across the fire.**

 **They had been speaking for many hours; evening had drawn in and they had made up camp for the night. Up to this point Merlin had managed to tell the story without arousing any suspicions from Arthur regarding the use of magic. Afterall, he had hardly used any in the "real" world and the bit he had (healing Arthur's wrist wound) he had managed to pass off as being an unexpected yet lucky side effect of Caldwell's spell.**

 **But now he paused in the telling of the story; how could he explain the old druid's actions? Then an idea occurred to him.**

" **I don't really know Arthur, I think it was just that they saw a chance of doing something good, an act of redemption perhaps."**

" **Yes, but why this time? What made them help you this time but not before?" Arthur was not being his typically obtuse self for once, much to Merlin's frustration.**

" **I think he said something about…umm…about...yes, that was it…he sensed my love and affection towards Gaius…" Here Merlin's voice stuttered over saying the old physician's name but he carried on. "He said it gave him the strength to fight back and once one had joined the others did as well and the power just grew. And Caldwell was occupied with his spell so maybe they felt he was vulnerable for once. Well, at least that's what I think might have happened."**

 **Merlin sighed with relief as Arthur nodded, seemingly content with this explanation. But then silence followed; both men realising that the next part of the story would be the hardest to talk about.**

 **Arthur began.**

" **I am so sorry Merlin; if I had only known I would have waited but…"**

" **It was not your fault Arthur" Merlin replied so quietly that Arthur had to really struggle in order to hear what the young man was saying. "I thought that it was all my fault…that I was not strong enough to save him."**

" **Merlin" Arthur interrupted "It was most definitely not your fault; you risked everything to try and get Gaius back. You must not blame yourself."**

 **Merlin lowered his head and spoke, if possible, even more quietly.**

" **I know that really. I know that I did my best. It just wasn't good enough. I should have been quicker to let the druids use their magic to save him but I was not." He glanced up at the King who was watching him with an intensely worried expression on his face. "We both tried our best and we both share the guilt but so does Caldwell. It was he who caused all this and he has paid a terrible price."**

 **Arthur shuddered as he remembered the Lord's last moments.**

" **There will be plenty of time for recriminations and regret in the future." Merlin continued "But first we need to return to Camelot and honour Gaius. He has been waiting too long and he deserves a dignified and noble goodbye."**

 **Arthur just nodded in reply and reached out to touch Merlin's arm. The young man flinched a little at the contact and Arthur knew at once that, whilst he spoke of understanding that he had done his best, in reality Merlin still felt as guilty as before. As Arthur put another log on the fire he watched his friend as he lay down as if to sleep. But the King was sure that Merlin would not find peace in repose; that he was being eaten up by remorse even as he closed his eyes and feigned acceptance.**

 **XXX**

 **As the dark night bled into the first soft glow of dawn Merlin lay still beside the barely smouldering fire. Glancing towards the sleeping King the warlock quietly used his magic to place one small log onto the embers. As it caught the flames Merlin closed his eyes again; even that tiny piece of magic had tired him considerably. It was obvious that it would take some time for his ability to heal itself; fighting Caldwell had truly drained him of his power.**

 **It was this that finally convinced the young warlock that he had indeed given his all in his attempt to free Gaius but it did not stop the feelings of guilt. He had lain awake all night, listening to Arthur breath and even at one point call out Gaius's name. Merlin realised that the King was also nearly broken by the old man's loss, his nightmare clearly showing his sadness. The warlock had gently shaken Arthur, not enough to waken him but just enough to push the nightmare away and allow the King some sleep.**

 **Sleep that was denied Merlin. Despite all he had said to Arthur earlier that evening Merlin did still blame himself and knew that he always would. It was in his very nature to take the blame when something awful happened; he could no more change that than he could alter having magic. His commitment to the safety and protection of those he loved was interwoven into his very being. And when something happened to those close to him he never forgave himself. He always thought that he could have done something more. Even when he knew he could not.**

 **As he watched the log begin to be consumed by the flames the usual fear of discovery and punishment flashed though his mind - an image of being tied to the stake and the flickering fire eating at his body. Normally he would go to talk over these fears with Gaius, but no more. Merlin shuddered and tears began to fall when he realised that there was no-one left in Camelot to whom he could talk about his true self. Lancelot was gone, Freya too. And now Gaius. The young warlock allowed himself a few moments of self-pity. But that soon turned to grief over Gaius's loss…the physician had been old it was true but he should have had more years of life. And this had been denied him.**

 **Merlin knew that he would never rid himself of his feelings of failure and guilt but also that he needed to go on. He could not collapse into the black hole of grief that gaped at his feet. No, Albion needed him, Camelot needed him and most of all Arthur needed him.**

 **He would be ready to serve until he died but a large part of him had perished alongside Gaius and Merlin knew that he would never be the same again.**

 **XXX**


	19. Chapter 19

**Chapter 19**

 **It was decided that Gaius's funeral would be held at dawn the next day. Arthur had given the order that the old physician should have a full ceremony, one normally reserved for nobles or knights. It was the least he deserved and all of Camelot agreed with their King. Gaius had cared for so many of them; been there for the happy births, the stressful illnesses and had eased the passing of the dying. He was woven into the fabric of the Citadel and was mourned by all.**

 **Arthur and Merlin had returned to Camelot an hour after dawn. They had broken camp as the sun had begun to rise and had made better time now that Merlin was able to ride at a normal pace.**

 **The evening's talk had left them with little energy nor much to say to each other; they were just pushing ahead now to get home. The pull of that place was immense for both of them, even though they knew what awaited them there. But delaying things any longer would not help either of them and so they hurried. Arthur to begin preparations for the funeral and Merlin to say goodbye.**

 **XXX**

 **As soon as they had entered the Castle Merlin had slipped away from Arthur and headed up to Gaius's chambers. The young warlock knew that the King would be busy with organising things and that perhaps he should have offered to help but he needed to be with Gaius one last time - alone; before his body became part of the formal court process. Merlin needed to have his own private farewell.**

 **And so he sat there, in the cold tidy room that should have been so full of life. Gaius should have been mixing potions; yelling at him to clean out the leech tank; caring for him. But instead he was lying motionless on his bed, covered by a grey blanket.**

" **That blanket is too thin Gaius, you will get cold" Merlin whispered to the old man. "Here let me get you another" As he spoke Merlin pulled a second, warmer one from under the bed and gently covered the old man's body with it. Even as he did so Merlin knew that he was being ridiculous – Gaius was beyond any feelings or sensations. But he just couldn't help himself; it all still seemed so unreal. He just wanted to offer comfort and love to this man who had taken him in, cared for him and protected him.**

 **Merlin had prepared himself for the fact that Gaius' body would have begun the process of decomposition and it had taken him some time before he had been able to uncover his face to say goodbye. But he was shocked by what he found. Yes, there was a slight greyness to the skin colour and an eternal chill emanating from the corpse but it was as if the old man had passed but an hour or so ago. If he had given it much thought Merlin would no doubt have assumed that this was because of the dark magic involved. But in reality he did not even pause to wonder why it had happened but merely to give thanks that it had. He had dreaded seeing what a few days would have done to Gaius, fearing that he would not be able to see him again, to touch him or to be with him. For this chance at least he was grateful.**

 **Silently he sat there, eyes closed, holding Gaius's cold hand and said his goodbyes. Anyone watching him might have thought that he was asleep but that was not the case. In his mind Merlin was thinking over all that Gaius had meant to him and saying thank you for his love, support and even his nagging. Merlin had never really known a Father or a Grandfather but this man lying there beside him had fulfilled both these absent roles. The young man knew that he would be forever grateful. Hard though his years at Camelot had often been; the warlock knew that he would never have survived without Gaius.**

 **And so the hours passed.**

 **XXX**

" **Merlin, please wake up."**

 **With a start Merlin's eyes opened. He must have fallen asleep at some point during his vigil for he was half sitting on the chair and half lying on the edge of Gaius's bed. Bewildered, he sat up and rubbed his eyes, blurring his vision for a moment.**

" **Please Merlin, we do not have much time."**

 **Two figures stood in the corner of the room and on seeing them Merlin dropped Gaius's arm and got to his feet, arm raised; ready to protect Gaius, Camelot, Arthur…whoever these new apparitions were threatening.**

" **For pity's sake Merlin, it is us."**

 **Merlin suddenly recognised the voice. It was Deryn and, by squinting slightly Merlin could just make out that the other shadow was her son, Gwyn.**

" **I don't understand." Merlin said "What are you doing here? It can't be safe. I know Arthur would not harm you but there are others here who hate anyone even vaguely associated with magic. Please go home."**

" **We know what you are Merlin. That you have magic." Deryn said the words quietly. "We have come to ask for your help once more, Emrys."**

 **As she spoke Merlin made to move away from them both. Instantly he was terrified, no matter how Deryn and her son had helped him, their knowing the full truth was horrific. He had no way of really knowing what their intentions were. Visions of the executioner's pyre and Arthur's disgusted face swan before his eyes.**

 **His fear obviously showed on his face as Deryn instantly stepped forward and enveloped him in her arms. He stood there frozen in the hug until she whispered in his ears.**

" **You have no need to fear us, we only wish for your help Lord Emrys. As you helped us before." She broke the embrace and moved a little away from him, but still clasped his hand.**

" **How did you…?" Merlin was unable to stammer through to the end of the question.**

" **It was me, Emrys" This time it was Gwyn who spoke. "I slept for a few hours after you left and when I woke I just knew. I knew it all. I felt everything." The young man looked distinctly uneasy as he spoke and Merlin suddenly realised exactly what he meant.**

" **You inherited your Father's power and his knowledge didn't you?" Merlin asked worriedly.**

 **The youth hung his head as he replied.**

" **Yes Lord Emrys."**

" **Please do not call me that. I am Merlin." The young warlock replied quickly, uncomfortable with the title and the name being spoken aloud, especially within the walls of Camelot.**

 **The younger man nodded silently and waited for Merlin to speak.**

 **Merlin looked at Gwyn. He could see his Father's legacy in some of the boy's features but he was mainly the image of his Mother. Was that reflected in his character as well? Merlin knew that the boy had resisted Caldwell's orders to enact the spell at first but now he had his Father's innate power what did that mean? Was he still on the side of good or had the darkness that had entered him changed him?**

 **As if sensing his concern Deryn walked towards her son, reached out and grasped his hand as well as continuing to hold Merlin's. Unspeaking, she brought all their hands together and spoke to them both.**

" **Yes, Gwyn has been given the powers that were his Fathers. When he woke he felt the Amulet and without really thinking he touched it." Here she gave her son a pitying look. "Slowly over the next few hours it tried to possess him and it handed over his bitter inheritance. It gave him power and knowledge of the darkness. I knew something was wrong but it was not until he came to me that I understood. The amulet was not destroyed when Caldwell died and it has chosen my son as the inheritor. As well as showing him all the dark power he could have it also told him all that had happened and who you really are. It passed on all its knowledge."**

 **Merlin flinched at the mentioning of that evil object and tried to pull his hand away from Gwyn's; sure now that the boy meant no good. In all the centuries of its existence no-one had been able to resist the amulets power so what hope did this youth have of doing so?**

 **Deryn held fast to his hand and spoke again, this time in a more forceful voice; one that reminded Merlin of his Mother.**

" **Just listen to me Merlin. Gwyn is NOT his Father. He is good. He is the best of men. He resisted and he won." Here she looked at her son with such an expression on maternal pride that Merlin began to believe her.**

" **But" Deryn's voice took on a note of concern "The amulet does not give up. It keeps trying to coerce him, to tempt him. If he does not fall I fear that it will harm him. It seems to need a human in order to thrive and it has fixed on Gwyn."**

" **I do not know if I have the strength to resist forever. If I give in to it then all my Father sought over these past years will be mine in time. I will have total, immortal power and I will do no good." Gwyn looked directly at Merlin for the first time. "I have come here for your help."**

 **Merlin laughed bitterly.**

" **I can do nothing. I have failed and my magic is so weak I can barely light a fire." He dropped both hands and stalked to the other side of the room. "If I had any power left do you not think I would spend it on trying to bring back my friend? But I cannot do it, he is lost forever. I have nothing to give to you or anyone else"**

" **Please Merlin. We are so sorry about Gaius but you must help us stop this evil. It will not return him to you but it will prevent any further tragedy" Deryn pleaded. "If we cannot break the amulets power then my boy will be lost to me and great wickedness will ensue."**

" **I can't help you Deryn. I do not have the strength or the faith." Merlin said brokenly. "Dark always wins, no matter what I do. I rid Camelot of one evil only for another to take its place. I am so tired and so lost." As he finished Merlin once more sat beside Gaius's body and laid his head on the old man's still chest.**

" **Forgive us for asking Merlin. We understand all you have given and will not force this upon you" Gwyn turned to his Mother as he spoke. "I will go and do what needs to be done Mother. Give me you blessing; you know it is the right action that I take."**

 **Deryn's hand rose to her mouth and such a stricken, painful sob escaped her lips that Merlin was roused from his stupor and looked at the boy anew.**

" **Farewell Merlin. I hope that one day you will regain the faith you have lost. I am sorry about Gaius. He was a good man." He paused for a moment. "One favour is all I ask. Will you look in on my Mother from time to time? It would comfort her."**

 **Merlin nodded, unsure as to what was actually being asked of him. He watched the youth bend down and pull his Mother into an embrace. One that she returned with incredible vigour. Gwyn tried to break away but she held onto him. Finally he managed to pull away enough to look her in her eyes.**

" **It is for the best Mother, you know it is."**

 **Deryn stared at her boy and all at once seemed to crumble, acquiesce and nod agreement. She let go of Gwyn and allowed him to walk to the door.**

 **As he put his hand on the lock it all suddenly became clear to Merlin; he knew what the boy was going to do.**

" **Stop." Merlin jumped to his feet as he shouted and ran to the door, grabbing Gwyn back as if from the gates of hell. "You can't do it."**

" **It is the only remaining thing I can do." He replied "If I die by my own hand then legend states that the amulet will also cease to exist. I will not become as my Father was, I refuse. But I do not know how long my resistance will last and so I will end my life. It is better, so much better than the alternative." Gwyn smiled at Merlin. "I am sure you understand. There are some things in this world that are worth the sacrifice."**

 **With those words the young man opened the door and walked out.**

 **Merlin stood stunned but then it was as if a bolt of lightning hit him. He felt his magic stir within him, rising and growing and returning to full strength. The youth's valour and sacrifice** **had woken the sleeping power within the heart-broken young warlock. It surged through his body and reinvigorated his soul.**

 **And he knew what he needed to do.**

" **Gwyn" Merlin called towards the departing figure down the corridor "Come back. I will help you. I am sure we can do it together. We will be strong enough to destroy it."**

" **Destroy what Merlin?"**

 **Merlin whirled round in dismay as he realised that Arthur had been approaching Gaius's rooms from the other direction and had heard his shout to Gwyn.**

" **And why do you need strength to do it?"**

 **Merlin glanced back down the other way and saw Gwyn had stopped and was walking back towards them, a frightened but** **determined** **look on his face.**

 **Sighing Merlin realised that there was no way out. They would have to tell Arthur all about it. There was no way they could destroy the amulet in secret now.**

 **Merlin only hoped that this was possible without revealing his magic or without Arthur arresting Gwyn for his.**

" **Arthur, there is something we need to do." The warlock said. "But I don't think that you are going to like it."**

 **XXX**


	20. Chapter 20

**Chapter 20**

" **You want to do what?" Arthur's voice was raised in a mixture of anger and disbelief. "Use magic here? In Camelot? Are you mad, all of you?"**

 **Merlin sighed; this was not going well. He had barely got the first words out before the King had exploded. On hearing the expression "We need to use magic to…" Arthur had just stopped listening and had begun to rant.**

" **You cannot seriously believe that I would let anyone use magic here? You, above all others, know what evil it has caused within the Citadel Merlin. What it has cost me and the citizens." Arthur paused for a moment and then continued in a slightly quieter voice "The last time I permitted such an occurrence my Father died. Why on Earth would you imagine that I would allow its usage again?"**

 **Now the question had been asked Merlin suddenly realised that he had no compelling answer to it. At least none that did not include explaining his own magic as well. He had no idea of what to say and just stood there with his mouth slightly open, looking at Gwyn and desperately seeking inspiration.**

" **Sire, perhaps it would be better to continue this discussion somewhere a little more private?"**

 **Startled, all three men turned and saw Deryn standing at the door to Gaius's chambers. They suddenly realised that he had been discussing the use of magic whilst standing in a distinctly NOT private Castle corridor. Any number of servants, knights or members of the aristocracy could have walked past.**

 **Nodding once the King strode into the room, quickly followed by the other two men. As he entered Merlin breathed deeply, perhaps the interruption would make Arthur forget the question he had just asked.**

 **But for once the King was not to be distracted and as soon as the door was shut he asked it again.**

" **So, go on then, what makes you think I will allow the use of magic here?" He glared at all the others around him "And who iwould perform it?"**

 **Merlin glanced at Gwyn who gave a barely discernible (and quite nervous) nod of permission.**

" **Arthur, please listen." Merlin walked closer to his King. "Because Gwyn was involved in casting the spell, it would seem that, well, the amulet, well, um…" Merlin hesitated. He was about to tell Arthur that Gwyn had magic and, whilst he was sure that the King would not immediately order the youths execution, the young warlock was a trifle nervous. Perhaps Arthur would arrest the Gwyn and banish him instead; leaving the young man open to the power of the Dark Amulet.**

" **It would seem that he has inherited his Fathers powers?"**

 **Merlin gaped at the King as he spoke…unable to believe that Arthur had so quickly caught on.**

" **Why are you so surprised that I worked it out Merlin?" The King asked. "After all it is not I who is the idiot."**

 **Resisting the urge to disagree with Arthur's last statement Merlin inclined his head and began to fill Arthur in on the situation – of course leaving out any mention of Emrys or his own magical skills.**

 **Once he was finished explaining Merlin, Deryn and Gwyn all stood in silence as Arthur thought about what to do. After ten minutes he stirred and sat up straighter.**

" **But why did you need to come here Gwyn? Could you not have broken the spell that attaches you to the amulet at your home?" Arthur's face was a blank, not betraying his feelings in any way. "What possible help could Merlin be to this process?"**

 **Gwyn and his Mother had no ready reply but this time Merlin did.**

" **They need some of the extremely rare and dangerous herbs that Gaius had collected, to make the potion that will break the attachment." With a heart full of sorrow Merlin glanced over to the quiet and still corner of the room where the beloved old man lay, still covered in the warm blanket he had laid over him. "Gaius was a prolific collector of exceptionally hard to find herbs and flowers." Merlin gave a small sad laugh "I should know. After all it was I who was usually sent out in all weathers and to all sorts of hideously uncomfortable places to gather them.**

 **Arthur too looked towards the death bed and smiled gently, remembering the many times Merlin had returned from such expeditions covered in mud (or worse); complaining bitterly. The two men looked at each other and for a moment their thoughts were as one. There would be no more such missions, no more freezing, filthy trips instigated by the old physician. The loss they had suffered hit them once again.**

 **Arthur sighed, ran his fingers through his messy blonde hair and nodded.**

 **"Fine. How long will it take you to prepare the potion and the spell?"**

 **Now the decision had been made the King was all action, wanting it done as soon as possible. The prospect of Gwyn not being able to hold out and them having to face the evil of the amulet again so soon was unbearable. Avoiding that was worth the breaking of a law.**

 **Thinking quickly Merlin told the King that it would take approximately eight hours for them to be ready; meaning that the spell could be broken just before dawn.**

" **That is good, it means we will not have to alter the plans for…" Silently Arthur looked once more towards Gaius's still body. "For his funeral. He has waited long enough and I will not show him the disrespect that further delay might cause."**

 **Merlin lowered his eyes, trying to hide the tears that were threatening to spill down his cheeks. He knew that he had not even begun to truly mourn for Gaius; so involved was he in trying to prevent the amulet's wickedness surviving. But he also knew that the old man would understand and easily forgive his distraction. There would be time; oh, so much time; for sorrow and despair later. But now Merlin needed to do what he always seemed to have to do. Put his own feelings and pain aside and work for the greater good. It was his destiny. His own personal anguish would have to be quashed until there was space for him to allow himself to feel. It was just as it always had been and always would be. Merlin came last and he accepted this as the cost for the survival of all he loved and held dear.**

" **Arthur, you should go and get some rest." Merlin spoke quietly. "It will be a hard day tomorrow and it is perhaps best that you not be here whilst Gwyn prepares his magic."**

 **Arthur stared at his manservant and for a moment it seemed as if he were going to speak. But instead he turned and slowly walked out of the room.**

" **We do not need so much time Merlin." Gwyn said in confusion. "Merely an hour or so to enable you to rest and draw down more of your power."**

" **Son, do you not understand?" Deryn spoke at once. "Merlin cannot have the King here; he must not expose his magic to Arthur. Friend though he is, the risk is too great."**

" **But surely, Merlin has only done good and brave things? He has protected the King and Camelot for so long and the prophecy tells of so much more." Gwyn stared at the silent warlock, not understanding why he feared the truth. "Arthur is fair and loyal. He would not bring harm to his friend."**

 **Merlin felt the ache in his heart grow stronger as he listened to the young man's words. If only he had the conviction of this youth's beliefs. He knew Arthur cared for him but he was still afraid of what would happen if he found out. There were signs that Arthur's hard stance on magic was lessening; but even so the risk was too great. He needed to be there to protect the King; not only for Arthur and Camelot's sake but also for his own. With Gaius gone Merlin needed an anchor to this world and, for better or for worse, it would seem as though fate had decreed that it be Arthur. Merlin needed Arthur as much as the unknowing King needed him.**

 **Reading the barely perceptible pain on the young warlock's face Deryn moved towards him, placed her arm around his shoulders and led him up the small wooden stairway to his room.**

" **Sleep Merlin. We will sit and watch with Gaius." Deryn helped him lay down on the small hard bed. "Close your eyes and rest for the trial that awaits. I promise he will not be alone as you sleep."**

 **All at once the pain, fear and anguish of the past few days seemed to hit the young warlock and he could no longer keep his eyes open. Turning onto his side he began to give into the weariness that seemed to come from his bones. The last sight he saw as he succumbed was the small wooden dragon that Balinor had made. As he left the conscious world he thought on the loss of not one but two Fathers.**

 **XXX**


	21. Chapter 21

**Chapter 21**

 **Gwyn put a small box down onto the old wooden table and then took an involuntary step back as Merlin reached forward and opened the lid.**

 **The warlock could have sensed what was in the box, even if he had not known in advance what was wrapped in the piece of cloth. It oozed darkness and evil. If he concentrated hard enough he could feel the hatred and bitterness of all who had succumbed to it emanating from beneath the black material.**

 **Hesitating slightly, Merlin reached in and removed the covered Dark Amulet; quickly placing it down onto the table. Stepping backwards he re-joined Deryn and Gwyn and they all three stared silently at the cause of so much unhappiness.**

" **So no time like the present!" Merlin quipped with patently false joviality. "It has gone mid-night and we have no idea how long this will take. It will be better for all concerned if this is done quickly."**

 **Merlin had awoken from a deep, empty sleep feeling even more exhausted than he had before. He felt heavy and slow, his body aching all over and his head pounding. In fact the only thing that felt fresh and strong was his magic; it had obviously realised that it needed to replenish itself rather than refresh its host. Merlin could feel its strength flowing within his blood; bolder and more alive than it had been since his descent into the Nightmare World.**

 **Now as he stood staring at the Amulet he paused, suddenly unsure of what to do.**

" **Gwyn, have you any idea how we should actually go about this?" Merlin asked uncertainly.**

 **The young man grinned and reached into his pocket and pulled out a leather book. Actually, Merlin thought, THE leather book. The one that Caldwell had used, containing all the spells and magic that were connected to the Dark Amulet.**

" **You mean to say" Merlin said incredulously "that there is a destruction spell in that book? Why on earth would the original author add one of those?"**

" **I think it was written in after the book was first made; and unlike the rest it is written in Latin." Gwyn said "I can only think that someone else must have tried to end the Aulet's power. I do not think the attempt went well"**

 **Grimacing Gwyn raised the book up and Merlin could see a hurried, untidy piece of writing around the edge of the frontispiece. But it wasn't the bad penmanship that was causing the look of barely concealed disgust on Gwyn's face. No it was the large blood stain that almost covered the whole page that was doing that.**

 **Merlin nodded; yes it did not look like the previous person who had tried to stop the amulet had come out of it successfully. It was no real surprise; but even so confronting the actual evidence of failure and probable death was a little disheartening to say the least.**

" **So…" Gwyn looked directly at Merlin and waited.**

 **The warlock took a deep breath and went to take the book from the young man. But before he even touched it, Deryn grabbed it out of her son's hands and glared at them both.**

" **Are you mad?" she asked in exasperation. "Were you really just planning on saying the same spell without trying to work out what went wrong the first time?"**

 **Merlin and Gwyn both winced and had the good grace to look shamefaced.**

" **Honestly, do you not have the brains you were born with?" she continued. "Come on, we need to read it carefully. Hopefully we can see where they made their mistake and correct it. I for one do not wish to end my days being blown up or disintegrated by the amulet."**

 **The spell was written in Latin, unlike all the others in the book. Gaius had tried to teach this ancient language to Merlin but the youth had always found it hard to concentrate on it's vocabulary and complicated grammar rules.**

 **But between them they managed to have enough knowledge to read the words. They all stared at the hastily scribbled letters. Thankfully all the words of the spell were still legible underneath the blood splatter and the three of them spent the next twenty minutes reading and re-reading it. There was nothing. It all seemed to be correct. For the first time ever Merlin wished he had spent more time studying and sent a silent apology to Gaius. Now he would never get the chance to learn more from the old man and yet another brick was laid in his wall of grief and regret.**

" **Here, what is this?" Deryn suddenly pointed to the beginning of a sentence in the spell. Both Gwyn and Merlin stared at where she was looking but neither of them could see what she meant.**

" **There, don't you see it?" She asked in an annoyed voice. Honestly, she thought to herself as she watched the incomprehension in their eyes, how could they not see the mistake? As she waited for them to get it she sent up a silent prayer of thanks to her dead mistress, Lord Caldwell's wife. The Lady had had such an unhappy marriage and controlled life that she had no friends from her own social station and so had spent much of her time in the company of her maids and servants. She had even taken a few of the brighter, more driven ones under her own battered wings. In Deryn she had seen a young woman with a thirst for knowledge and so had spent time teaching her all that she herself had learned, long ago in her Father's house. He had been an unusual man, one who had believed that girls as well as boys deserved a good education. So Lady Caldwell had learnt from a governess and now in her kindness and her loneliness she sought to pass on her knowledge. Deryn had never been more thankful to her than now.**

" **It is there." She said once she realised that the young men had no idea what they were looking for. "The writer made a simple mistake in his Latin. Look here, he wrote "They destroy" rather than "I destroy". He simply got his Latin wrong."**

 **Merlin and Gwyn still looked at her perplexed. Sighing she had to explain it to them.**

" **He used the wrong words. In the whole spell he always writes about "I" doing something. Like here "I call upon the evil" or "I will give all my strength". But in this last part he does it wrong. "They destroy" rather than "I destroy". He wrote the spell wrong. That's why it did not work. Honestly it seems neither of you paid any attention to your lessons!"**

" **Mother, in all fairness, the education that Lord Caldwell provided was basic to say the least. He only gave us what we needed to enable us to speak the spells and not shame him should we join him in his depraved plan." Gwyn reached out his hand to his Mother and she took it, both joined together in their memories.**

 **Merlin knew at once that this was the error that needed to be corrected. But he had to admit that he was a little more concerned over the other sentence Deryn had spoken aloud. Calling upon "the evil" and giving all his "strength" did not sound like they were going to be easy. But this was his path and he would follow it.**

" **We must hurry" Merlin said "We have taken too long. Any delay only increases the chances that Gwyn will succumb or that Arthur may return."**

 **Quickly now they gathered in a circle and joined hands. With one voice Merlin and Gwyn began to recite the spell.**

 **A wind sprung up from the book, bringing with it a dark and ominous looking cloud, twisting and turning in the power of the internal storm. The dust and debris it carried covered the three of them, blinding their eyes and suffocating their lungs. Each new breath was a battle against the rampaging gusts and the sour smelling detritus.**

 **Gwyn began to struggle as the wind sought him out, buffeting him again and again, nearly pulling him down onto the floor. Only the tight hold his Mother and Merlin had on him prevented his falling. Over the sound of the storm the warlock could hear a voice shouting, calling Gwyn to join with it. The young man was yelling "No" loudly. Merlin could feel his pain through his defiance and knew that the youth was nearing the end of his ability to withstand the pull of the amulet. If he did not help him then all would be lost, Gwyn would be beaten.**

 **Merlin's magic had held up well so far, putting all of its strength into defeating the amulet. But now Merlin called some of it back and sent a protective spell towards Gwyn. A faint shimmer appeared over the young man and Merlin could feel him gathering strength again to fight. But in doing this, in protecting Gwyn, Merlin had made himself vulnerable. The amulet could feel the lessening of his power and it struck. Now it could find a way through his defences and it sensed a greater prize than Caldwell's son. It sensed it could turn the mighty Emrys and it wanted that more than anything. Their combined power would be unstoppable.**

 **And so it concentrated on him, leaving the other lesser beings alone. The storm circled around Merlin, cutting off the air that he needed to breath and the light that he needed to see. Merlin could feel his body being ripped and pulled in all directions and his mind and magic being surrounded and entreated. Whilst his body was undergoing pain and anguish the amulet was showing his soul what they could accomplish together. It was simultaneously seducing and killing; and it was not certain which action would succeed first.**

 **His eyes were closed against the damaging tornedo yet Merlin could still see images. Power, money, women, land…all could be his if he gave in and accepted the amulet's offer of joining together. Such riches and such dark glory were there to tempt him. Not enough, Merlin resisted all these.**

 **But then the amulet found a true path to Merlin's corruption - he could make magic legal, restore the Old Religion; punish those who had hurt his brethren. All this could be his and Merlin yearned for it. Yearned for freedom from fear and oppression; for sorcery to be adored. He would accept. This was his true destiny the amulet whispered through the storm. Together they would bring back magic and begin an eternity of magical superiority. All he had to do, the voice promised, was accept the amulet.**

" **Yes" Merlin thought. "Yes, I acc…"**

 **But then the dust cleared for a moment and Merlin caught an agonisingly brief glance of Gaius's body still lying undisturbed on his bed. And he knew with blinding clarity that he could never be one with this evil. This was not his Fate, he was destined to work alongside Arthur, to bring about the world that his two Father's; Balinor and Gaius, had given their lives for. Not for him the dark path of tyranny and destruction.**

 **Emboldened by his realisation, Merlin pulled harder at Gwyn's arm and was rewarded by the youth managing to look directly at him. Nodding towards the book on the table he yelled that they needed to carry on with incanting the spell. Merlin was not sure if Gwyn heard his words over the cacophony of noise and movement that surrounded them but it was obvious that he understood for he began to move his mouth in time with the warlocks. Taking a second to check on Deryn Merlin was delighted, yet not surprised, to see that she too was reciting the words. Though she had little power and the magic she did have was all for healing, her faith in him and her love for her son could only add to their strength.**

 **Pulling all his magic back to him, confident now that Gwyn could withstand any barrage of enticements, Merlin gathered his strength and did as he had promised in the spell. He gave his all. Magic poured out of his fingers and into the amulet; wave after wave of brilliant gold flames left him and entered into the object of his hatred. This was what had taken Gaius from him, what had tried to kill his King and what had nearly overcome his own purpose.**

 **Even as he felt his body begin to shake and sweat and convulse Merlin did not stop his magic. He sent it all, gave everything to the battle despite the pain that coursed through his entire being. It was as if he were being ripped apart; heart beating so fast it was close to bursting; lungs not getting any air. Yet still his brain controlled his magic and sent it where it needed to go.**

 **But now Merlin could sense the end, feel that there was little more within him. But this did not cause him to stop; rather he gathered what he had remaining and he launched it with all the conviction and belief that he had. All his love for those he had lost and for those he still needed to protect. With this enormity of emotion behind his magic there was no way he could be beaten and as it entered the amulet that evil antiquity briefly glowed white hot and the wind drew back all the grime that it had spread. As the heat emanating from the amulet reached an unbearable temperature a voice whispered one last time in Merlin's ears "We could have been Gods" and then the amulet melted into an unrecognisable mess of molten, base metal and lay lifeless on the table.**

 **The three of them dropped hands and looked around. Deryn and Gwyn stood there shocked for a moment and then expressions of joy and relief covered their faces and they reached over and hugged each other. They were safe, the terror and the threat were over. The amulet and Caldwell were gone for good.**

 **Turning to Merlin to share their joy they were rewarded with a truly Merlin sized, brilliant smile. One that reached into his very soul and showed him for the man he really was.**

 **But then the door to the chambers burst open and Arthur ran in, sword out and shouting about the noise and what was going on, and what did Merlin think he was doing standing there in the middle of the room smiling like an idiot…?**

" **Arthur." Merlin's voice was husky and almost broken. "Arthur. Thank you."**

 **Then as the King, Deryn and Gwyn looked on in abject horror Merlin seemed to gasp for air, a tortured, wet last breath and then he collapsed onto the ground.**

 **And as the warlock took what sounded to the horrified on-lookers as his dying breath the silent, still body on the bed began to move. As Merlin's chest rose and fell for a final time Gaius took a deep breath and filled his lungs with air.**

 **XXX**


	22. Chapter 22

**Chapter 22**

 **On leaving Gaius's chambers Arthur had walked wearily to his own. Exhaustion had settled on him like a heavy woollen blanket and it was a battle to keep his eyes open.**

 **He entered his rooms as quietly as possible, not wanting to wake Guinevere. But he needn't have bothered. The Queen was sitting silently by the fire, sewing a beautiful winding robe for Gaius's final journey on the morrow. She looked up as Arthur entered and smiled, a gentle expression of sorrow and love.**

 **Arthur walked over to her, sat on the floor at her feet and laid his head against her. She reached down and gently stroked his hair; waiting for him to speak.**

" **I just don't know what to do Guinevere." Arthur sighed "When my Father died I was sad but I had a role, an expectation to fulfil. A purpose. But this time…it just feels so wrong. Gaius should not have died this way."**

 **Guinevere lent down and gave him a small delicate kiss.**

" **Of course you have a role and a purpose." She replied "Your role is to ensure that Gaius has a proper burial, with the respect, the love and the honour he deserves. And your purpose is obvious to all. It is to be there for Merlin."**

 **Arthur started and looked up at his wife, as if unsure of her meaning.**

" **Oh Arthur, do you really think that Merlin will recover from this loss without you? He needs you now and you know it. Yes, firstly as someone who will provide him with activities to distract him but also someone to allow him to grieve and to remember." Guinevere placed her hand on Arthur's cheek. "That is your purpose, to enable Merlin to survive this."**

 **Arthur reached up and pulled her hand to his lips.**

" **Thank you Guinevere" he whispered.**

" **Now" the Queen said in a commanding voice "You need to sleep for a few hours before tomorrow. The Citadel will need you, Merlin will need you."**

 **Arthur nodded, pulled himself to his feet and walked over to the bed. Not even taking the time to remove his boots he laid down on the top of the sumptuous covers and was asleep within seconds.**

 **XXX**

 **Arthur suddenly sat bolt upright in bed, gasping in terror. Sweating and breathless he looked to his side where Guinevere lay still sleeping. Whatever horror had awoken him from his sleep, it had nothing to do with his wife. He closed his eyes and tried to think back to the nightmare that he had just escaped. There was nothing, just darkness. Then a flash, someone in pain, someone being tormented. No not someone. It was…it was…Merlin.**

 **Jumping from his bed, grabbing for his sword Arthur ran out of the door and down towards Gaius's chambers. He did not stop to question the vision. He just knew that Merlin was in trouble and that his friend needed him.**

 **As he burst through Gaius's door, yelling and brandishing his sword he pulled up short. There in front of him stood Gwyn and Deryn embracing, joy on their faces. A pile of still smouldering, melted metal on the table. And Merlin? Well, Merlin was in the middle of the room, totally dishevelled, but with a smile that Arthur had not seen for a long time. The King sighed with relief, obviously his concern had been misplaced. Merlin was fine.**

 **But then Merlin spoke.**

" **Arthur. Arthur. Thank you"**

 **And the King knew at once that he had been right to be worried. Merlin's voice was weak and almost destroyed. As the King looked on he saw the light go out of his friend's eyes and his legs crumple. Arthur lurched forward but he was too late to catch the younger man and Merlin fell heavily to the floor.**

 **Then came the sound of a last grasping breath and silence. Stunned the King could only stare as Merlin's chest stopped moving. But he had barely enough time to even begin to understand what this meant when he heard a gasp from Deryn. Arthur turned his head and saw Gaius. Gaius breathing, and moving. He saw Gaius alive.**

 **Gwyn and Arthur seemed frozen, unable to believe what they were seeing. But luckily Deryn was not. She ignored Gaius. All her concern was focused on Merlin. She ran over to him and began to hit him hard on the chest. She had seen a fellow servant brought back from the abyss by this method and in her desperation she tried to beat the life back into the young warlock. Again and again she struck him. Fear flooded her mind. It was not working, he was lost, she could not do it…**

 **Arthur tore his eyes away from the still unconscious but breathing physician in the cot towards the still body of his friend. He watched dumbstruck as the village woman tried in vain to bring life back. He closed his eyes as tears began to form. He knew it was too late. He had somehow regained one important person in his life only to lose the most vital one at the same time.**

 **He knelt down beside Deryn and went to grab hold of her hands. To stop her. To allow Merlin to rest in peace. But she struggled free and managed one more hit before she too gave up.**

 **Then it happened. Merlin took a shallow breath, another, then another. Arthur and Deryn watched as each shuddering breath seemed to be pulled unwillingly into the young man's body. Arthur took Deryn's hand and simply said "Thank you." Deryn just nodded.**

" **Arthur."**

 **A tired voice come from behind the exhausted King and he turned to see Gaius trying to raise himself up from the cot. Torn between these two people Arthur was for a moment unsure what to do. Looking down he saw that Deryn was holding onto the unconscious Merlin and whispering comforting words into his ear. And the King needed to speak to Gaius. If it was Gaius? Arthur had long experience of dark magic and evil events and he was not ready to accept Gaius's seemingly miraculous return without question.**

 **He walked slowly over to the cot and stood there, sword in hand, should this prove to be yet another supernatural threat. The man lying there certainly looked like Gaius; but he was supposed to be dead. Merlin had not been able to save him. Suspecting a last minute plot by Caldwell, or some other twisted soul, Arthur raised his sword and pointed it directly at the old man, opened his mouth to speak…**

" **Arthur Pendragon." A voice, distorted from long misuse and screaming, cut across the King. But still recognisably Gaius's voice. "Why are you drawing your sword on me when Merlin lies hurt? Stop lollygagging around and help me get up so that I can tend to him."**

" **Is that really you Gaius?" the King asked hopefully. "How can I trust that it is really you returned to us? How has this happened?"**

" **Really Arthur" Gaius replied "Can you not keep your questions until I have seen to Merlin?"**

 **For the first time Arthur looked directly at the old man and at once he knew that it everything was alright. One look at the expression of exasperation on the old physicians face (with that impossible to copy raised eyebrow) and he knew that this was the real Gaius; alive and irascible as ever. Arthur dropped his sword and reached down and hugged the surprised old man. Gaius was alive, how and why were questions for later. For that brief second all Arthur wanted to do was relish the return of his oldest confidante and supporter. It seemed as if the impossible had happened, a miracle that he would not question for the moment. Both Gaius and Merlin had been revived. The King suddenly felt lighter. Something that had been so wrong in his world had been righted and he was so very grateful.**

 **After his initial shock that the usually so reticent King had actually embraced him, Gaius returned the gesture and hugged Arthur tightly but only for a moment. A small movement in the corner of his eye alerted him to the fact that Gwyn had picked Merlin up and was carrying to his small room. Gaius tapped Arthur's back and the King turned to see Deryn follow her son and Merlin through the door.**

 **Arthur watched as all three disappeared into the dark little room. He was torn. He felt that he should stay with Gaius but he needed to know how Merlin was. The King felt a hand on his arm and he looked down to see Gaius looking at him knowingly.**

" **Arthur, help me up." Gaius had made an attempt to get up but his body was stiff and his muscles atrophied from lack of use and he was unable to move.**

" **No Gaius, you need to rest. Deryn is a talented healer and will care for him." Arthur gently pushed the old man back into the cot and pulled the blankets back over him. "I will see what is happening and if she needs your advice I will ask. But you are hardly in a fit state to help and the last thing Merlin would want is for you to damage yourself by caring for him. So sleep."**

 **Arthur stood upright and made towards Merlin's door.**

 **As he got there he paused and then turned around to face the old man.**

" **I cannot say how pleased I am to have you back Gaius. There are many things we need to talk about but for now it is enough that you are here and that Merlin has breathed again." Arthur bowed his head with respect for his elder and Gaius smiled a little as the exhaustion took over and he gave into refreshing sleep.**

 **The King slowly opened the door to Merlin's cramped bedchamber and entered. It was crowded but no-one had any inclination to leave. Gwyn was trying to get the unconscious manservant to drink some water whilst his Mother was checking his heart rate and temperature.**

" **What is wrong with him?" Arthur asked, a slight quiver to his voice betraying his concern. One look at Merlin had removed all his certainty of a moment ago. He was no longer so convinced that all would be well. Truly Merlin was breathing again but they were hard won breaths; each one fought for and dangerously shallow. He looked pale and his lips had a bluish tinge. In truth he looked as if he was dying.**

 **Deryn ignored the King's question for a moment, hiding her hesitation in answering by checking Merlin's heart rate one last time. She believed she knew what was wrong; that the warlock had given all his strength to fight the amulet. A** **s the spell had predicted. She was deeply worried that in using all his magical store he had left nothing for himself to aid his recovery. She feared for his life. But she also knew that she could not tell Arthur the truth of Merlin's ailment. Though she did not believe the young King would harm his friend she knew that it was Merlin's secret to keep. She searched her mind for a good explanation of his collapse but could not think of one.**

" **Deryn, I ask you again. What is wrong with him?" Impatience as well as worry had crept into Arthur's voice and Deryn knew she had to reply this time. But what to say?**

" **It was the herbs Sire"**

 **Deryn looked over to her son. He had stopped trying to get fluids into Merlin and was now answering his King.**

" **What?" Arthur said.**

" **If you remember Sire, we came to get Merlin's help with the potion. We had to use some strong and very dangerous herbs. They gave off a poisonous miasma and Merlin inhaled some of it."**

" **Typical Merlin, honestly he is so clumsy." Arthur gave an exasperated sigh as he spoke. His words trying to hide his fear.**

" **No Sire, not clumsiness but bravery" Gwyn was not going to let Arthur think any less of the young man who lay unconscious on the bed. "He had to do it on order for the spell to work. He risked his life to destroy the amulet."**

" **But I thought your magic was going to do that?" Arthur asked a little confused.**

" **I made the potion" Gwyn improvised "But I needed to repeat the spell and someone had to pour the liquid over the amulet. Merlin volunteered; knowing that it could injure or even kill him."**

 **Arthur was silenced. Once more Merlin's bravery and willingness to sacrifice himself was apparent. The King found that he wasn't surprised; he had almost come to expect such behaviour from the scrawny young man.**

 **Arthur pulled the small stool closer to the bed and sat down.**

 **Deryn looked at him and smiled.**

 **Arthur settled down. Nothing would make him leave until he knew Merlin was out of danger.**

 **XXX**


	23. Chapter 23

**Chapter 23**

 **For two days both Gaius and Merlin slept. They were never alone, there was always someone sitting by their beds, talking to them and hoping for signs of waking.**

 **Guinevere practically never left the phyiscian's chambers. Hour after hour she sat there, tending first to one and then the other. Her incredulous joy as Arthur told her of Gaius's miraclous return had been immediately destroyed as the King gently shared with her Merlin's condition. For a moment she was unmoving; the conflicting emotions almost too much for her to stand. But she was Guinevere; strong and practical. Her friends both needed her and she would not ignore them. Collecting herself, she had hurried to the rooms where they lay and began at once to nurse them to the best of her ability. But even so, strong as she was, there were moments when either joy or despair threatened to overwhelm her. Afterall she loved both these men. They were more than friends; they were family.**

 **So the waiting and the watching continued.**

 **Those who sat beside Gaius had the more joyous job. With each passing hour more colour returned to his face and the healthier he looked. But sitting with Merlin was a totally different experience. He was pale and still, his breathing shallow and forced. Even the most optimistic of watchers agreed that he was not getting better.**

 **On the third day, with only Arthur besdie his bed, Gaius awoke.**

 **Full of vim and vigour, as if none of the events of the past weeks had any effect at all. At least not physically. For if one watched him very closely there was an echo of fear and despair hidden just below the surface. He had undergone such terror and such mistreatment that it would be impossible for him not to be affected. Arthur tried to get him to talk about what had happened for he had many questions, but it was to no avail. As soon as he was able to leave his bed Gaius had no concerns other than to help Merlin. The King had to be content to wait until the old man was ready to speak. And in truth Arthur was glad of the physician's single mindedness. He had become increasingly concerned over his manservant's health and he welcomed Gaius's help.**

 **Hurrying to Merlin's little room (Arthur following close behind) Gaius was dismayed at what he found. Gwyn was holding Merlin up and Deryn was trying, and failing, to get a tonic into his mouth. She looked up at the old man and spoke.**

" **Gaius, it is good to see you up." A small groan emanating from her unconscious patient made her quickly look down. "He is not improving. No matter what I try, I fear it is beyond my skills. He needs you Gaius." Deryn looked knowingly at the old man. "You have talents and experience way beyond me."**

 **Gaius knew at once what Deryn meant. She had tried her small healing power but it had not been enough. Now she believed that the only hope for Merlin was for Gaius to use his ability with magic to help. He fervently hoped that this was not the case; but upon examining him Gaius was forced to concede. There was nothing normal medicine could do for the young man. Gaius needed to speak to Deryn and Gwyn without Arthur being there. Looking over and seeing the King now firmly ensconced on the little stool beside the cot Gaius realised that this would not be an easy task. Arthur looked set for the duration. The physician was not sure how he could get the concerned King to leave.**

 **Once more it was Gwyn who provided the answer. Quickly reading the situation and the looks between his mother and Gaius he understood what needed to happen.**

" **Sire" he said "There is one thing that may help. A herb that grows in the meadows south of here. I have told my Mother that I would walk and get it but it would be much quicker if I rode. Perhaps you could lend me a horse. I am not the fastest rider but I will try my best."**

 **Arthur looked over to Deryn and then at Merlin.**

" **Will this herb really help him?" he asked quietly.**

 **Deryn nodded. "It is the only thing left that I can try. And the sooner we get it the better."**

" **Then I will ride and fetch it back." The King said as he rose to his feet. "I am of little use here and waiting around is not…well, not something I am good at. I will be back within two hours"**

 **Out of sight of Arthur Gwyn winked at his Mother. He had played it just right. He had banked on Arthur needing to do something practical and he had been right. And they did really need to replenish the supplies of the herb. When Merlin recovered this plant would help him regain his strength; so it wasn't a complete waste of the King's time. Once the decision had been made Arthur wasted no time. He had Gwyn describe the herb to him and tell him where it grew. Then he was gone.**

 **Arthur dispatched, Deryn told Gaius of Merlin's true condition. The old man listened to the tale of the destruction of the amulet seemingly impassively but Deryn and Gwyn could tell, by the way he grasped Merlin's hand and held on tightly, that he was deeply moved by what had happened.**

" **He just does not have any strength left Gaius" Gwyn said "He use it all to save me. I only wish that I could have held on to at least a remnant of the power I had. I could have helped him."**

" **It is better you did not my boy" Gaius replied "With each use of the amulet's magic the more powerful it's hold over you would have been. No matter if you were using it for good. No, this is my fault. I got myself into danger and he will not pay for it." Gaius took a deep breath and steeled himself to the task ahead. He was never a natural when it came to the use of magic, he had to work very hard at it. And, despite feeling fully recovered, he was still an old man whose stamina was not what it was. But this was for Merlin.**

 **Gaius closed his eyes and summoned all his little store of magic and muttered a quiet incantation. The spell was designed to re-awake depleted magic and allow it to restore health to its master. Two, three times he spoke the words but nothing changed. Merlin was still as ill and weak as before. In despair, his strength waning, Gaius tried again. But still nothing. No spark of gold, no warm rush of magic coursing through his body. Just coldness and failure. He knew he did not have the ability to pull Merlin back from his catatonic state. He could not ignite the young man's magic, enable it to heal its host. With a deep sigh Gaius withdrew his hand from where it had been placed right above Merlin's heart.**

 **But then another hand covered his and pushed him back down into contact with Merlin. He looked up and saw Deryn smiling at him.**

" **I share with you the little magic I have. It is a poor gift but I give it willingly" she said as she too closed her eyes. Surprised but invigorated by the unexpected support and assistance Gaius once more spoke the words of the re-awakening spell.**

 **For the briefest of moments there was nothing and then they both felt it…a stirring and a disturbance within themselves. A tiny, ethereal breath of power flowed through them both and into Merlin. They could feel it spread from them to the young man and as it entered his body the flow sped up. It was as if Merlin's magic had sensed this much need spark and had reacted with joy. It was sucking up what little they had to give, desperately trying to recharge itself so that it could heal Merlin. It needed more and more and Gaius and Deryn felt themselves becoming weaker as Merlin's magic drained them of theirs. They felt their life forces begin to ebb and for a moment they were scared that this depletion would not end.**

 **But Merlin's magic was a part of him and was imbibed with all that made him who he was. It could no more kill innocents than Merlin could. And so it took as little as it dared and then it stopped. It let them go happily, knowing that it had just enough and that they were not harmed.**

 **Gaius and Deryn broke their hold on each other and on Merlin. They stared at the young man on the bed and held their breaths. It seemed as if nothing had changed. He still looked as drawn and ill as before but they had faith. Gwyn moved nearer the bed as well and all three watched, waiting.**

 **Slowly colour seemed to return to Merlin's face, his lips becoming red again and his cheeks less pale. As they listened his agonising breathing become easier and deeper and he stopped groaning. Right in front of their eyes he was turning from a dying man to one who seemed to stand a chance. His magic had taken their gift and had amplified it beyond all recognition as it pulled the warlock back from the brink of extinction.**

 **They held onto each other for support in their tiredness and also in joy.**

" **I have the herb, how do you…" As Arthur bust through the doors he caught sight on the three of them in an embrace and for a moment he believed the worst had happened. But then he dared a glance towards the bed and saw the changes. "What happened?" he asked as he quickly sat down and clasped Merlin's now warm hand in his.**

" **Gaius had an idea for a potion that I did not know of." Deryn smiled as she spoke. "It was very old and obscure but he has so much knowledge. It seems to have worked, Merlin has made some steps forward. But it is a long way to go Sire."**

" **And we will definitely need those herbs you collected Arthur" Gaius said as he reached out and took them from the King's hand. "These will help him regain his strength and hopefully aid his return to consciousness."**

 **XXX**

 **And so more hours passed, with someone always beside Merlin's bed. But they were not the same as the previous watches. For Merlin was improving, every hour his colour got better and his breathing stronger. They were no longer waiting for him to die but for him to awake.**

 **But even given the new hope, Arthur was worried. He found it hard to believe that both Merlin and Gaius were going to be well. In his experience life was rarely that kind. But he had to have faith.**

 **After hours of watching, Guinevere and Arthur ordered Gaius to rest. But Gaius announced that he had spent long enough lying in his bed and he needed fresh air and a sky above him. Arthur had been about to insist that the old physician remain inside when he saw the look in his eyes. At once the King knew that Gaius needed to see the world again, to feel the sun on his skin and the wind on his face. To feel truly alive after all the horrors that had happened to him. To know that he had really escaped the nightmare.**

 **Arthur simply nodded and made the old man promise not to go too far. It would not do to lose him again. Gaius took a look at Merlin and, seemingly satisfied with what he saw, he walked slowly to the door and went to seek the comfort of a world of colour, life and love. A world that he had thought he would never see again.**

 **Guinevere sat in the room for a while longer but then Arthur insisted that she go and rest as well and slightly begrudgingly she went.**

 **So it was now just Arthur who sat and watched and waited. Yet still Merlin did not stir. Arthur resisted the urge to poke the sleeping man, knowing that he needed to rest. But it was starting to get difficult to wait. The King knew that patience was not a virtue that he was particularly blessed with. He needed to do something. Looking around the small room he realised that the water bowl was empty and the rags used for wiping Merlin's forehead were grimy. Not finding anything more "heroic" to do Arthur decided to act the maid and replenish the water and find clean rags. Anything was better than sitting still for another moment.**

 **Carefully checking that Merlin was still breathing before he left the room Arthur walked down the small wooden steps and over to where Gaius normally kept the bandages. But they were not there, and in exasperation the King remembered that Merlin had tidied the rooms. Annoyed he began to search for them, opening cupboards and drawers. All the while muttering under his breath about people wilfully "hiding things" from their King. With a loud huff he finally got mad and threw a large wooden bowl on the floor.**

" **What on earth are you looking for Arthur?"**

 **A voice behind him.**

" **Rags, Merlin, rags…where the hell did you put…?"**

 **Merlin. It was Merlin who had spoken. Swirling around the King saw his manservant standing at the top of the little flight of stairs, looking tired and ill but also annoyed. It took one more second for the reality of what he was seeing to hit and then Arthur ran over and embraced the startled young man.**

" **You're finally awake." Arthur stuttered.**

" **Well done for noticing Sire!" Merlin's voice was almost cheeky, almost like his old self and this made Arthur smile.**

" **You've been unconscious for days now." The King stated.**

" **Evidentially." But now Merlin's reply was quiet and cold, no trace of the previous good humour.**

 **Arthur stepped away, noticing the sudden change in the young man's tone. Then he saw where Merlin was looking – at Gaius's empty bed.**

" **You did not wait for me Arthur." The pain in Merlin's voice was now apparent and so very strong. "Did you not think that I needed to be there for his funeral? To say goodbye to the man who was as a Father to me? Could you not have waited a few days?**

" **No, Merlin" Arthur tried to reply. "Gaius is…"**

" **Gaius is gone. I could not save him and because you would not delay his funeral I was not even there to say that I was sorry." As Merlin spoke his voice broke and so did his strength. His legs gave way and he slipped to the floor.**

 **Arthur immediately sat beside him and tried again to speak.**

" **Merlin, please you have to listen…"**

" **I don't want to know Arthur." Merlin said despairingly "At least tell me that we managed to really destroy the amulet and that Gwyn is free. Let some good come out of this mess."**

" **Yes, it is destroyed and Gwyn is safe from its malign influence." Arthur replied. "But Merlin, about Gaius, he is…"**

" **Please I don't want to talk about it." Merlin's voice finally broke down completely and tears began to fall.**

" **Seriously Merlin" Arthur actually began to shout "For once in your life just listen to me."**

" **Sire, why on earth is Merlin out of bed and for goodness sake why are you shouting at the poor boy?"**

 **Arthur looked up to see Gaius striding across the room, a look of total annoyance on his lined face.**

" **Really Arthur, I would have expected more of you." He continued. "Especially after all Merlin has been through.**

" **Gaius?" A small whisper of disbelief came from the steps.**

 **It was then that Arthur looked back down at the young man beside him. Merlin was staring intently at the old physician. The youth's face was a blank, empty thing…as if the shock of seeing Gaius had wiped all of his emotions.**

" **Gaius?" Merlin repeated, his voice wavering and unsure.**

" **Yes my boy. It is me, I promise you." Gaius finally reached the confused young man and promptly enclosed him in his arms. "Oh, Merlin, my boy." Then words failed the old physician and all he could do was pull his ward even tighter into the embrace.**

" **Gaius?" Merlin could not yet believe what was happening, his arms limp by his side. He looked up at Arthur, seeking reassurance that this was not just a dream. Arthur (who would later deny having tears in his eyes) nodded and said "It really is him. Gaius is alive. It's what I was trying to tell you, you idiot."**

 **Merlin did not understand any of what was happening but for once he did not care. Gaius was alive, he was real, breathing and holding him. Nothing else mattered now. Merlin hugged the old man back as hard as he could and just gave into the moment.**

 **Gaius was alive. All would be well.**

 **XXX**


	24. Chapter 24

**Chapter 24**

" **So it was the destruction of the amulet that freed you Gaius? Arthur asked. "Just that?"**

 **Gaius took a deep breath before he replied; leafing through the old leather spell book as he spoke.**

" **Yes, Sire, it is mentioned in the spell itself; it is here for all to read…at least those of us who actually paid attention during our Latin lessons! I fear that as not as much was learned during those as I had believed. I will have to begin teaching again. "**

 **Here Gaius cast a fierce yet caring glance at Merlin. The young man, wrapped in a blanket and sitting by the fire, gave an apologetic smile in return. He knew, or at least hoped, that Gaius was only partly serious. He really did not want to have to study languages once more. But then he thought about what had happened. Without Deryn there to correctly translate the spell things could have ended up very differently.**

 **So he looked up once more and caught Gaius's eye and nodded his agreement. Boring though Latin was Merlin now realised that he needed to learn everything he could from the old man. Having lost his mentor once the young warlock now truly appreciated how much knowledge and experience Gaius had and he did not want to lose any of it. Plus, lessons would give him more time to spend with the Gaius. Time he had so recently believed he would never have.**

 **Gaius looked at Merlin and sighed, relenting slightly.**

 **"Well, I suppose it is only generally eluded to in the spell, it goes into more detail in the last pages of the book. On the last page it says** **that if the amulet is destroyed then all will return or go forth to their fate. It is in the ancient language so it is not surprising that neither Merlin nor Derwyn understood the implications of what they were doing to save Gwyn." Gaius paused, lost in emotions and memories.**

 **Guinevere quietly moved over to where the old man sat and touched him on the shoulder. With a start Gaius recovered himself and reached up to pat her hand. Her skills and care had aided him and Merlin so much that the already strong love and bond between the physician and the Queen had multiplied a hundredfold.**

 **"The spell released those who were trapped in that awful place onto the next stage of their journey; back here or on to somewhere else." Gaius said.**

 **Merlin sat up in his chair and spoke quietly.**

" **Does that mean all the souls we encountered there will now be at peace Gaius?**

" **It means, my boy" answered Gaius "that those who supported us or repented will go on to some form of peace but that others will have to endure what their choices have led them to. I was the only victim of Caldwell who still had a corporeal body to return to; all the others had wasted away many years ago. So I was able to return here to the mortal world. I was lucky, they were not. If I understand this correctly the old druid and those who aided us will be forgiven and will gain the peace they seek. However, those who joined with Caldwell or took their revenge on him..." Here Gaius gave an involuntary shiver. "As to their fate I can only imagine. Punishment still awaits them."**

" **But surely" said Merlin, unable to accept that so many lost souls were destined to eternal damnation. "There must be hope for them all eventually to enter Avalon?"**

 **Gaius leant over and touched Merlin's hand. For a moment they remembered all the shadows of humans who had dragged Caldwell to his end and a pall of despair briefly covered both their minds.**

" **Perhaps my boy, perhaps. The Old Religion is not known for its forgiving nature; but maybe in time."**

 **Merlin sighed and stared into the fire.**

 **"Merlin, all is well now. Gaius is returned and you are nearly better." Guinevere said as she saw the look of despondency that crossed her friends face.**

 **She had felt the change in the atmosphere and was desperately trying to return it to the quietly happy state it had been moments before.**

"H **owever it happened I am glad you are home with us Gaius. It is something to celebrate; is it not Merlin?"**

 **A genuine smile appeared on the young man's face as he replied.**

" **Indeed it is Gwen. All Camelot rejoices. We have much to thank Deryn and Gwyn for."**

" **Not just them Merlin." Gaius stood up. "Without your sacrifice I could not have returned."**

" **What do you mean Gaius?" Merlin asked. "When I entered the nightmare world with Caldwell, I failed. I could not bring you home. It was only when Gwyn brought the amulet here to be destroyed that you were able to live again."**

" **It was my fault you could not bring him home" Arthur joined in. "Because of my actions you returned too early. So if you must blame anyone for that debacle, blame me."**

" **No Arthur, it was I who…"**

" **For goodness sake stop it the pair of you."**

 **Both Arthur and Merlin looked up as Deryn yelled at them from the corner where she and Gwyn had been quietly sitting, temporarily forgotten by the others in the room.**

" **It's about time you both stopped reliving your failures and think on your successes. Perhaps there were mistakes made along the way; in fact we all made some. But it is not important now."**

 **She looked around at the other five people in the room. All in some way survivors of horror and anguish but all home safely.**

 **Gaius, without your tenacity to cling to a spark of life we would not all be here." She continued. "Gwyn, without your ability to resist the evil that was your inheritance we would not all be here. My little magic as well aided in this ending. Your courage Sire, to follow a servant and then to allow the use of magic where it is still forbidden, this too ensured all our safety."**

" **And you Merlin." Here she turned her glaze on the still recovering warlock. "Your willingness to believe, to fight and to give your all to others was the final link. It was your strength that bound us all together and enabled us to destroy that evil for good. Think on this as we go our separate ways. Friendship, faith, courage and good magic have won."**

 **A moments silence greeted her words and then**

" **Well said my Lady." Muttered Gaius. "It is enough that we enjoy the victories when they come."**

 **XXX**

 **That afternoon Deryn and Gwyn were ready to leave Camelot, heavily laden with goods and crops to help put the village back together. Arthur had asked them to stay longer but Deryn was anxious to get home to her daughter who was being looked after by a kindly neighbour. And Gwyn wanted to return to help rebuild all that had been destroyed over the years of cruelty and neglect.**

 **Before she got onto the cart Deryn embraced both Arthur and Merlin. As she hugged the still fragile young warlock she whispered in his ear.**

" **Thank you for all that you did that he does not know about." She indicated Arthur with a slight incline of her head. "When you are ready to tell him, I am sure he will understand. All that you do is for him and Camelot." She gave Merlin a slightly sad smile. "Just try and find something for yourself as well."**

" **I have my friends and I have Gaius back." Merlin quietly replied. "It is enough."**

" **Well, I wish you more my son, you deserve it." Deryn kissed him once more and then climbed into the cart.**

" **Thank you for all that you have done." Arthur shook hands with Gwyn. "My soldiers have rounded up all the miscreants and thugs who once followed Caldwell and they will be punished. Arnell especially will be spending many long years in the darkest dungeon that Camelot possesses."**

" **Thank you Sire" Gwyn replied. "It will be hard work but we will rebuild and make it a home again."**

" **Of that I have no doubt. Especially with you as its Lord." Arthur announced with a grin on his face. "I hereby proclaim that all the lands, right and responsibilities of the title pass to you and I have great faith that you will be a kind and just Lord."**

 **Gwyn stood there with a bemused expression on his face as his delighted Mother, Merlin and Arthur all congratulated him.**

 **Finally finding his voice Gwyn made a vow.**

" **I swear that all I do will be for the good of the people, for the land and in service of King Arthur. For Camelot."**

 **And as he and his Mother finally drove off they could hear the replies of "For Camelot" following them through the air as Merlin and Arthur shouted their pledges in return.**

 **XXX**

 **Merlin returned to Gaius's rooms to find him resting in his chair. Despite being returned to good health Gaius was old and the last few weeks had taken their toll. Merlin quietly made them both a warm drink and sat beside him**

" **I have yet to thank you my boy" Gaius spoke after some minutes of companionable silence. "But for you I would still be there, eternally tortured and alone."**

" **There is no need Gaius." Merlin replied "I know that you would do the same for me."**

" **I would try my boy but I doubt I have the courage or strength necessary." Gaius said. "What you were willing to give…"**

" **Please Gaius" Merlin's reply was quietly despairing "I do not wish to think of it. It is over now and best left in the past. When I thought that I had lost you; it was as if all the pain that I had ever felt, all the losses, were redoubled and nearly crushed me."**

" **Oh, Merlin, I am so sorry. But you found me and restored me." Gaius responded.**

" **And I am so glad to have you home" Merlin lifted his head and the look of despondency fell from his features and was replaced by one of joy. "It was not the same without you."**

" **And I fear it is not the same now I have returned either!" Gaius's voice had got a little louder and less avuncular "I have been waiting until you were better and things were back to normal to discuss this with you."**

 **Merlin glanced at Gaius and finally realised what he was talking about…as Gaius surveyed his rooms.**

" **Oh, ummm, the "Clear Up" you mean?" Merlin responded nervously. "Well, I thought it would help; make it easier for you as you were getting better. Then I was told that you were, you know, gone. And I just left it all…" He looked up at Gaius, trying to read his reaction in his stony face. "Don't you like it Gaius? I can put it all back again if you want. Won't take me a moment."**

" **Did you use magic to make this room tidy or do it yourself?" Gaius asked.**

" **All myself." Merlin said.**

" **And it was to aid my recovery you say?**

" **Yes."**

" **Well then leave it. It was done out of affection and, despite the fact that I can't find a blessed thing, I am thankful for the reason behind it."**

 **Gaius beamed as he looked around another time.**

" **Besides" he said surveying the already newly messy work bench. "I have a feeling that it won't be long before it looks pretty much the same as it did."**

 **The ensuing laughter was the first step towards the mending of their nearly destroyed hearts.**

 **XXX**

A/N: This is the penultimate chapter of the story. I, of course, own nothing of Merlin…sad but true. Thank you all for reading and reviewing.


	25. Chapter 25

**Chapter 25**

" **There are still many things that I do not really understand Merlin." Arthur said as he drank some wine in his room, whilst his manservant tidied up around him. "For example how did my bindings get loose and why did my wound heal so quickly? You said it might have been a side effect of Caldwell's spell but I cannot really believe that. Nothing good ever came out of that man's magic"**

 **Having had some time to think up answers for the questions he knew would eventually come Merlin had a ready response. He carried on working as he spoke, hoping his movements might hide the lies he was about to tell.**

" **No, you are right Arthur. I now believe that it was Gwyn who released and healed you. He must have somehow accessed the magic growing in him. After all we know he was fighting to beat his Father and reject the dark magic. The amulet must have begun working on him even as he said the spell. I think he must have been able to use some of his power to release you and heal you, even unconsciously. His will to remain good was that strong from the very beginning."**

" **Aye" replied Arthur with a sigh. "Perhaps you are right. But there is more I don't understand… for example how did you know that Gaius was not truly dead? And why was I sent on the wrong path when I left to find you but you were not?"**

 **Merlin sighed (cursing the fact that for once Arthur was not content just to let things go) and answered as best he could.**

" **I think Caldwell may have done it. He was determined to make Gaius suffer so I suspect he placed a spell on him to find the person he cared for most and bring them to the Manor. The spell must have drawn me."**

 **Here Merlin stopped for a moment, worried that Arthur might be hurt by the implication that the manservant was more important to the physician than his King.**

 **Arthur gave a small smile in response and muttered "It is fine Merlin. Though I know Gaius cares for me as both a friend and his Monarch I am well aware that to him you are as a son. You need not fear for my feelings in this regard." Speaking more loudly Arthur continued "I see what you mean though, Caldwell was so twisted it sounds like something he might do. Call the person nearest to Gaius to come and watch his suffering. He must have delighted in seeing how devastated you were. And also how this hurt Gaius. Honestly, the man was evil and his magic even more so."**

 **Merlin closed his eyes at Arthur's pronouncement on magic. Here was yet another obstacle in the way of the future he dreamt of; another example to the King of how magic could be used for evil. But then…**

" **Still," Arthur continued slowly as if thinking this for the first time "Gwyn used his power to destroy the amulet and gave his magic up without any compunction. And Deryn helped with the healing. So perhaps not all who use magic are necessarily evil, there are exceptions who prove the rule. But ultimately I suspect that their actions were down to the type of people they are, good to the core."**

 **A flutter of hope stirred in Merlin's heart; something there for him to build on over the coming months or years. A beginning; buried deeply perhaps but there for when Arthur and Camelot were ready to begin to accept magic.**

" **However that still does not explain how I was diverted away from the correct path though." Arthur continued.**

" **No, it does Arthur." Merlin carried on with his hastily cobbled together answers. "Think about it. Caldwell wanted me and Gaius to suffer but he did not want everyone else to know what was happening. So he must have designed a spell that would only attract the most important person in Gaius's life. All others would be diverted by the dust and the fake path. He'd not have known who would be summoned; for all he knew it could have been you. And you would have been more sensible than me and taken knights with you. No, Caldwell could not risk that so he placed the misleading incantation to stop anyone else following. It is only down to your tracking ability and you determination to save me that you managed to break the spell."**

 **Merlin hoped that by praising Arthur, the King would get side-tracked from this line of questioning.**

 **But he was not successful. Arthur, unusually, had more questions.**

" **But what of the things that you saw and did?" He was relentless. "Gaius has told me much of his experience and how your belief in him was what kept him going but you have only told me the barest details."**

 **Merlin stopped readying Arthur's bed and stood stock still as memories blasted across his mind. He needed this to stop.**

" **Arthur I…I…it was…" Merlin shuddered as he recalled all that had happened and all the suffering. "I don't think that I can…I need to…" He faltered and stopped; his eyes filled with the pain of remembrances. This was not pretence, not a pre-planned way to stop Arthur from asking questions Merlin did not have answers to. This was real pain and regret. There were no lies in Merlin's feelings; only truth and anguish.**

 **The young King looked over to his friend and read the sorrow in his face. Realising that he had gone too far Arthur stopped. There would be time for all this once Merlin was fully recovered. For now it was enough that they were home.**

" **It's fine Merlin, honestly. You do not have to tell me now." He reached out an arm, touched Merlin on the shoulder and made him to sit down in the next chair. "I am sure there will come a time when you feel able to tell me all and I promise to listen without judgement." At the final moment Arthur could not quite bring himself to say how much Merlin's death would have affected him; but he hoped that the young man would just know without him having to articulate it. "I just wanted to say that I am, um, glad that you are not dead…it would have been dull without you."**

 **For a second Merlin wondered if Arthur had seen something or had worked something out and that perhaps now was the time to tell him everything. But it was just a momentary feeling. Even if Arthur thought that he was ready to hear all Merlin's secrets, the warlock was not ready to tell them. This latest brush with evil and death had weakened him, physically and emotionally and he did not have the strength to risk everything.**

 **Merlin understood that something in him had changed. He now knew that there was evil that was so strong that it could nearly beat him. One of the last naive, trusting parts of him had been breached and his heart had begun to harden. He realised that the wickedness out there, the debased and malevolent enemies of Camelot needed to be beaten by whatever means necessary. Whilst he still rebelled against this idea he was also convinced that more would be needed of him than he had ever imagined. To share all this with Arthur, to let him see that magic was so good yet still could be so dangerous was impossible now. No, Merlin needed to work it all out for himself; figure out how he could defeat those who battled against them; without losing all that made him good.**

 **A balance between his destiny and his own conscience had to be found and until then he was by himself. He could not share his misgivings with Gaius nor his secrets with Arthur. This burden and this hope was his alone to carry. And carry it he would for he believed in the Once and Future King and all that the future foretold.**

 **So Merlin let the moment pass and his secrets remained his own; for now.**

 **XXX**

 **A/N: And there it ends...many thanks to everyone who read, followed and reviewed. It is much appreciated.**


End file.
